Confessions of Hugh Fitzcairn
1993
After being rescued from the guillotine and the clutches of James Horton and the other rogue watchers, Fitzcairn thanked MacLeod for his intervention in typical Fitz style by saying.
"The women of the world thank you, my friend."
MacLeod rolled his eyes smiled at his friend and replied.
"Your welcome, what would the ladies of the world have done if I'd have arrived 5 minutes later and you'd have lost your head?"
Fitz held his hands up in the air, winked at MacLeod and said rather conceitedly.
"They would have been inconsolable laddie."
The two friends left the rogue watchers dungeon and made their way to MacLeod's barge.
A worried Tessa was waiting for their return. As soon as she saw the pair walking down the stone steps leading down from the road to the waterside below, she ran frantically and leapt into MacLeod's arms, smothering him with kisses.
Fitz coughed and quipped.
"Should I take my leave and allow you two a little privacy?"
Tessa finally released her hold on MacLeod and gave Fitz a peck on the cheek saying.
"I was so worried about you both, please stay Fitz I want to know what happened."
Fitz bowed slightly as he replied.
"Thank you my lady if you are quite sure I wouldn't be intruding."
"I am sure and please call me Tessa."
Fitz looked at MacLeod commenting.
"How could I refuse the fair lady Tessa Mac, you really are a lucky chap, how did you capture the heart of such a gem?"
MacLeod put his hand on his friends shoulder and said.
"One day I might tell you, let's get inside I don't know about you but I could use a stiff drink."
After filling in Tessa on what had gone on with Horton the other rogue watchers and the guillotine.
Several drinks later Fitz was feeling mellow and more talkative than usual. He had been drinking the mead he was fond of but surprised MacLeod by asking him if he had any whisky, MacLeod had been drinking cognac whilst Tessa had been enjoying a bottle of fine red wine. MacLeod went to the drinks cabinet and reached out a bottle of very old single malt whisky, he took a glass and placed the bottle and glass on the table in front of Fitz. Pouring himself a large measure of the golden water of life as the Scott's often referred to it, he sat back and began to speak…
"I have a confession to make Mac…"
"Fitz you're drunk I already know you cheated when we were playing golf, so…"
Fitz cut MacLeod off in mid sentence.
"It's not that, I'm not drunk, I'll have you know laddie I could easily drink you under the table."
"Settle down Fitz OK. What is it you feel the need to confess?"
Taking a gulp of his whisky Fitz began.
"When I was strapped in that guillotine I thought I was going to die, you're my oldest and dearest friend Mac, all the others are dead even Darius, he was the best of us you know…"
MacLeod raised his glass in a toast as he said. "He was the best you won't get any argument from me about that, to Darius I hope he found his God."
Fitz and Tessa raised their glasses in honour of Darius and repeated the toast.
Fitz cleared his throat before resuming.
"As I said you are my oldest and dearest friend Mac, I owe my life to you."
Seeing MacLeod was going to say something Fitz held his hand up and said…
"No argument laddie you saved my life and I am grateful beyond measure, so I want you to know everything about my life and where I came from, you may be surprised".
Looking directly at his friend Mac replied.
" I know where you came from you were born in Sussex England in 1190 and your first death was in 1224 after you were caught and run through by a jealous husband right?"
Taking another drink Fitz retorted…
"Well I was born in 1190 alright but it wasn't exactly in Sussex."
Looking puzzled MacLeod asked.
"What exactly does that mean. you weren't exactly born in Sussex, you always said you were?
"You know me Mac everything has to do with love, so I invented being born in Sussex I particularly like the fact that there is sex in the name of the place, mind you I could have said Essex, but I like Sussex it has a touch of suspicion and sex all in the one name don't you know."
MacLeod's eyes widened in disbelief as he asked.
"Where were you born then, the truth this time."
Fitz sheepishly looked back at MacLeod as he answered.
"Scotland."
"You wee Sassenach you have got to be bloody kidding me."
"No Mac I'm as Scottish as you are my friend I was born in Berwick upon Tweed…"
"Ah but Berwick upon Tweed is in England you are No Scottish Fitz, you never sounded Scottish either."
"Mac my dear chap Berwick upon Tweed has changed hands at least 13 times to my knowledge in it's long history, in 1189 Richard the first or Lion Heart as they called him sold it back to Scotland to pay for his Crusades, it remained Scottish until 1199 by which time my family had moved further north away from the border. Back then I did have a wonderful Scottish lilt in my voice, even if I do say so myself."
"Ok so what happened to that wonderful Scottish lilt?"
MacLeod said sarcastically.
"Well you see Mac there was this lady well two actually."
"How did I know there would have to be a woman or women involved somewhere Fitz?"
MacLeod shook his head he knew Fitz was the consummate ladies man.
"Well if you want to be crass about it, anyway I was engaged to be married to the local Magistrates daughter, you should have seen her Mac, she was a beauty."
MacLeod smiled he knew every woman Fitz saw was a beauty, he just loved the ladies.
"Where was I?"
Fitz said as he took another gulp of his whisky.
"Ah yes, I was engaged and all was going well until my intended happened to catch me in the hayloft with her sister, you should have seen her Mac…"
"I know Fitz she was a beauty."
Mac's comment had a mildly sarcastic tone to it which Fitz ignored.
"Oh she was very beautiful and a year younger than my intended, anyway she ran off screaming blue murder and the next thing you know her father was running towards the barn pitchfork in hand and less than good intentions towards my good self. So I ran as fast as I could, which is pretty difficult with ones trousers around the ankles, I can tell you."
MacLeod and Tessa both burst out laughing at the mental image of Fitz running for his life with his trousers around his ankles.
"I say you two this is no laughing matter."
Tessa and Mac began to laugh even more at the serious expression that was plastered on Fitz's face.
After a couple of minutes of uncontrolled hilarity and wiping the tears of laughter from their faces Tessa and Macleod tried their best to look composed. Fitz poured himself another large measure of whisky drank half of it and then said.
"Now children are you quite ready to hear the rest of this story or should I leave it there, honestly you young people today."
Fitz' indignation almost made the pair burst out into laughter again, they somehow managed to stop themselves and asked him to continue with his story.
"Needless to say the Magistrate caught up with me and to my complete shock he thrust the pitchfork into me and killed me, can you believe it, he killed me Mac HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A DECENT BURIAL THE SWINE."
Tessa interrupted with.
"Well you did take his youngest daughters virtue and betray his eldest daughter who you were engaged to, what did you expect Fitz that he would tell you, you were a naughty boy and please don't do it again?"
"Tessa I'm shocked I thought you would understand, I thought he might have locked me up but no he killed me and he was supposed to be a representative of the law."
MacLeod smiled and said.
"Well what happened after that or is that the whole story?"
"Oh there's more Mac and I'll get to my accent presently too. After I came back to life I knew I couldn't go back the Magistrate had killed me and I knew for the first time there was something strange and different about me. I remember the pain of the tines of the pitchfork piercing my body and yet when I awoke I didn't have a scratch. I set off walking I had no idea where I was going I just had to put as much distance as possible between me and the Magistrate. I came to an English village a couple of days later the problem I faced was that in those days the English didn't have any love for the Scott's and I had to find a way to hide my distinctive accent. I played a mute. Can you believe it me not being able to talk, it was damned difficult but I managed it, I met a wonderful lady who owned a tavern and she gave me a job cleaning up the place, chopping wood and of course some other duties I need not elaborate on, you know the kind of duties I mean, well she was a widow and she was very kind after all. After about six months I had played the mute and all the time I was listening and learning how the English speak, I spent ages practicing my new accent until I got it perfected. I was practicing one day when the widow caught me and asked me why I had been pretending to be mute. I had to think fast I said I had not been pretending I was mute but I was healed by a holy man who I met that very morning whilst I was out chopping wood, she didn't believe me at first but I told her he had also given me a blessing that would help heal any wound I may receive, I took a knife and cut my hand, it healed almost immediately and the widow was convinced I had been healed. Wasn't that a touch of genius Mac? I stayed with her for the next twenty years until she died, I mourned her passing, then I moved on and met my immortal teacher Henry Fitzmartin the rest of my life story from this point on you already know Mac. I just wanted you to know we are countrymen as well as friends. I promise no more surprises you know everything now."
MacLeod held out his hand Fitz grasped it as MacLeod said.
"I'm sure you still have some things you'll surprise me with, who knows you may actually settle down get married and stay faithful to your bride, now that would surprise me."
" I have no intentions of getting married Mac, why would I? what would the women of the world do if I did? I dread to contemplate such a tragedy for them!"
The End?