A/N: Here's another ridiculously long Azula-centric (with some Sokkla because crack!atla is awesome)
I'm completely disregarding the canon 'Azula was shipped off to a mental asylum on a nondescript Fire Nation island where she spent the rest of her life' with this ficlet. Doesn't the South Pole seem plausible instead? I think it does, so I wrote this. This, like all of my fics, is simply a plot bunny that would not leave me alone. Title courtesy of my man Publius Vergilius Maro.
Rated T for my terminal potty mouth, some mean spirited teasing, depressing shit, choked full o' UST
Descensus Averno Facilis Est
Easy is the Descent Into Hell
She could liquefy the entire continent at any time. She could set the entire desolate landscape ablaze and eliminate the entire South Pole. She would start with the stupid village and move inward and have it done in a day, no sweat. The ice would melt into the sea and the southern Water Tribes would be doomed! At least that's what she told herself.
At the moment she had resigned herself to doing nothing. Until recently she was accustomed to things always going her way, but now she wasn't so positive that they would.
She was trapped. So utterly, painfully, and dreadfully trapped. To the south there lay only the frigid tundra, to the north, east, and west the frozen ocean sat to greet her. The game she and her brother had been playing for years was finally over, and he had just said "check mate". She had to commend Zuko on his choice for the location of her prison. There was absolutely nothing she could do to escape or entertain herself here in this forsaken village.
She had weighed all her options, and by her calculations the only way to escape was to commandeer a ship and there was simply no way she could do that without a crew. The Water Tribesmen were doubtlessly unswayable and resolute. Stealing weapons and killing everyone was too messy and too risky. She was outnumbered. Here, in a village of 50 people, chances for blackmail were slim and high-caliber manipulation was nearly impossible, especially under Pakku's vigilant eyes.
It was well established that she was completely trapped.
But that didn't stop her from trying to break out anyway.
Merely a few weeks after she arrived she had run out into the arctic wasteland and never looked back. Normally she didn't do things without thinking them all the way through, but on that particular day she had reached the peak of desperation. Anywhere was better than her designated prison. Hours later in the late afternoon she surrendered to the bitter winds and collapsed onto the ice, allowing the cold to consume her. It was an ironic ending for the princess of the Fire Nation and she thought it was rather fitting in spite of herself. Alone, imprisoned, isolated from any form of her element. But then hefound her.
She didn't care to notice the crunching noise his boots made on the newly fallen snow as he approached her motionless form.
"Lost are we?"
"Well considering you just found me, I am not lost." She spoke. Her urge to be contrary easily trounced her intention to stay silent.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" He sighed in annoyance.
"Yes." She croaked in reply.
"You really are crazy." He stood above her with his gloved hands on his hips. She didn't make a move to get up and he didn't move to help her.
"I am not crazy; I'm a high functioning sociopath. Now please just leave me here so I can die with the shred of dignity I have left." She drawled theatrically.
"You should get up. If we start out now we can make it back before dark." He commented, looking to the sun.
"I'd rather not." She pouted
"Come on, princess." He had leaned down to speak to her. "It would take you days to die out here and Peace Council wouldn't be too happy if I let that happen. Wouldn't you rather be somewhere warm and comfortable?" He said just loudly enough for her to hear him over the gusts of wind.
His voice was unusually enticing and she was so tired and so very cold… She shuddered and nearly agreed before she caught herself.
"You'll have to carry me." She replied obstinately. "I refuse to leave of my own accord." The warrior didn't respond for a long moment. She shut her eyes and attempted to ignore him. He would leave her eventually.
The cold was creeping farther into her bones now and her firebending still refused to come to her aid even though she was in dire need of it. She could feel her energy leaving her body and fleeing with the howling wind. If she had ever needed a foolish sentimentality like hope, now would be the time.
Then, for reasons she didn't quite understand, she felt a pair of warm arms underneath her, scooping her up. She didn't know what to make of this unexpected gesture. He lifted her with ease; she had been loosing weight since she arrived at the South Pole. Sea prunes and seal jerky didn't exactly agree with her delicate pallet.
Once she was secure and settled against him, she shut her eyes once more and miserably drifted away.
Cold was all she seemed capable of feeling. She wanted to drown in what little warmth her tower of furs had to offer. The Fire Nation Princess decided to forego the ordeal of getting out of bed once again this morning. She liked to pretend that she didn't exist while she was curled up under her blankets. Sometimes she would forget about the bleak scenery and that surrounded her in the darkness of her igloo. She never wanted to leave the warmth of her bed.
"No one came to wake you up? It's noon already! Did ya miss me?"
"No." She growled as light flooded the room. None of the other Water Tribesmen bothered to disturb her. Her hands curled into fists.
"It's a beautiful day, some of the guys polished off a patch of ice for skating! Get up!" She highly doubted the day was any kind of beautiful.
"Leave me alone." She groveled; her voice was muffled by her bedding.
"You can't stay holed up in here forever." In one swift movement, he pulled all of her blankets off of her bed. As the chilly air hit her skin, her entire body tensed and she let out a long agonized scream into her pillow.
Sozin's Comet came and went, and took most of her emotional stability with it. She couldn't recall much of the actual day itself, but she had awoken from a drug induced unconsciousness about a week later on a ship in the middle of an icy ocean.
At first she could not form words or even thoughts, the contents of her brain were muddled and nonsensical. She struggled to swim to the top of what seemed like a lake of sludge, not knowing where she was going, trying to reach voices that seemed like they were in a different galaxy. She felt hollow and frozen and she had the awful feeling that she was lost.
"Where the hell am I?" She had screeched as soon as she could stand on her feet, and as soon as she had figured out that somehow, her bending had been blocked. During all their brief and violent encounters, Sokka had never heard the note of fear that was present in her voice at that moment.
"Some say hell in the spirit world is cold." He remarked calmly.
"Where have you taken me?" Her eyes were wide with panic and she was frantically trying to pull her unwieldy hair back into her signature bun.
"The war is officially over; you're a prisoner of the Inter-Nation Peace Council. You've been exiled to the South Pole." He told her tentatively, tiptoeing out of her way and closer to the door.
Suddenly she fell forward, supporting herself on a desk and breathing heavily.
"Are you… okay?" The words sounded foreign to him as they passed through his lips.
"No." She hissed furiously. She started to tremble. "Get out." She commanded quietly.
"What?" He said nervously.
"Get out. GET OUT." She had shrieked, stepping toward him and pointing to the door. He had slipped outside without hesitation, desperate to put some sort of barrier between them. Almost immediately after the door was shut, he heard her collapse to the floor and begin to scream and sob.
They both knew she didn't deserve his sympathy, and she didn't receive it. That was fine by her. Azula would much rather have suffered alone.
"Aren't firebenders supposed to rise with the sun?" He crossed his arms, looking incredibly smug as usual. His boomerang and a well-worn dagger hung from his belt. The sword slung over his back accentuated the complacent curve of his shoulders. Azula bit her lower lip.
"This place improved immensely when you weren't here." She threw a whale oil lamp at his head with ruthless dexterity. He just barely dodged it.
"GranGran says she hasn't seen you out and about in a week. She made lunch, you should come over." She was nearly overcome with the urge to pull her blankets over her once more, but they were on the floor and far out of her reach. Instead she sat up and pulled on her slippers.
"Checking in on me are you? Making sure I haven't deteriorated into a manic invalid?" She stalked past him, glaring, and began to brush her hair, the one vanity she had left.
He took a deep breath, and Azula thought he was going to protest but apparently he thought better of it. "Yes." He said bluntly. "After your little temper tantrum on cactus juice, I'd say it's the rational thing to do."
Her fingernails dug into her palms as her rage began to build. She threw her silver plated brush at him and he unexpectedly caught it.
"Could you maybe NOT do that?" He shouted in frustration, sarcastic as ever. "If you want this back, you're going to have to come and get it." Drat.
He tossed her long black overcoat to her and walked out of her hut.
"Give that back you damn filthy peasant!" She yelled as she thoughtlessly chased after him.
"Peasant? Real original, Azula. You're going to have to come up with something different now that you've been demoted to the life of a simple Water tribesman."
"I haven't been demoted, I'm in exile." She corrected him, quickly pulling on her parka and trying to keep up with his long strides.
"Yeah, that's what Zuko used to say." He mumbled, tossing her brush back at her. She hunched her shoulders inside her coat. She hated being compared to her shameful brother and Sokka knew it.
"Excuse me?" She demanded through clenched teeth.
"Nothing, nothing." He insisted, holding aside the furs that covered the entrance to his grandmother's hut, bowing so deeply his nose nearly touched the snow. She disregarded his mockery this time.
"I'm surprised to see you, dear." Kanna said wearily as she stepped inside.
Azula pursed her lips. She didn't generally enjoy being in the old woman's presence, she was too friendly and gentle and it made her uncomfortable.
She remembered when she had first met her and her aloof husband. Sokka was trying to tactfully explain her situation and how her brother, The Fire Lord, had relinquished her to the Southern Water Tribe's custody.
"That angry young man who visited us looking for the avatar?" Kanna had inquired.
"Yes. That would be my brother." Azula had said wryly, her lips twisting into a grim smirk. Pakku looked unconvinced, Kanna looked concerned and Azula was still horrified at the idea herself. She had been internally mortified as they interrogated her.
Kanna tried her best to be approachable, but had not sold Azula. Luckily Pakku wasn't there today. Normally she found his presence unbearable and the feeling was mutual. He had doused her with water a few too many times when she said something offensive or started to lose her temper.
She wanted to slouch in her chair, but her superior breeding took precedence over her emotions. Surprisingly, a bowl of fruit sat in the middle of the table, most likely a product of Sokka's recent journey. She selected a peachpear and examined it.
"You should eat something; you're looking a bit peaky." Kanna remarked.
Azula knew she was right, but still felt the need to defend herself. "I was once the prettiest girl in the fire nation, you know."
Sokka snorted. "Why is it that the princess is always the most beautiful girl in the land?"
"Because I am!" Azula insisted. Sure, her eyes were a little sunken and her hair was shorter these days but she didn't think it was that hard to believe. Beauty had never mattered to her before she had been defeated.
"Weren't you already infinitely rich and powerful? Couldn't you have given up the title to someone else?"
"Sokka, let the girl eat." GranGran placed a bowl of some kind of porridge in front of the Princess. Azula winced and picked up another fruit.
"Well, she's looking better than she did after that ill-fated suicide attempt right before I left." Sokka said dryly, raising a singular eyebrow.
Azula shot out of her chair. "It was not an 'ill-fated suicide attempt'!" She cried indignantly.
"Oh yeah? How else would you explain it? Did you need to reach your crazy quota for the month?" He leaned forward across the table, taunting her.
"I just wanted to test my endurance without firebending!"
"That was a great idea; maybe you can try jumping off a glacier into the ocean next!" He said scathingly.
She scowled at him from beneath a curtain of uneven bangs. Somewhere in the depths of her rational mind she felt a small amount of gratitude for the sarcastic warrior. He probably wasn't even remotely aware of its existence; she would never reveal it anyway. He brought her down to earth constantly after she had received her death sentence. He wasn't letting her wallow in her misery and she certainly had a lot to be miserable about these days. She was a failure doomed to a freezing hell for the remainder of her pathetic failure of a life and all she wanted to do was return to a home that no longer existed.
"You bicker with Sokka even more than his sister!" GranGran observed, stirring a pot hung over a fire in the center of the room.
"Your grandson has done nothing but pester me from the moment he returned!" Azula claimed, outraged.
"Not true. I'm about to take you ice skating!"
Azula stared at him like he was being absurd for a very long time.
"You're about to take me… what?" She drawled dispassionately.
"You've never even heard of ice-skating?"
"No, in the Fire Nation it was… hot." She gave him a skeptical glance, clearly meant to demean his intelligence.
"Alright, I get it, no need to get snippy." He was already on his feet, pulling her out of her chair. She pocketed a fruit and reluctantly followed him. She didn't want to be anywhere in the vicinity when Pakku returned.
It had begun to snow. Azula stopped for a moment to stare up a sky the color of dull steel. Flakes were sifting downward and landing gently on her pale face. She recalled a time from her youth when she had sat in the sun eating sorbet and still feeling quite warm. She rubbed her numb fingers together and wondered if she would ever feel any kind of warmth again. The ice had infected her and it ran through her veins now. She shouldn't be surrounded by so much water, it was unnatural.
Something soggy and disgusting hit her; she instinctively assumed a firebending stance. Sokka laughed. His blue eyes were gleaming with malice in the grey mid-afternoon light. It had been a snowball, of course. What else would it be in this damn place? She periodically forgot she lacked the ability to defend herself with her bending. Someday soon she would figure out what happened to it, for now she would have to figure out what to do if someone attacked her.
Her eyes narrowed, her lips curled into a grimace. She would get him later when he wasn't expecting it. "You should be more careful. I'm psychotic." She informed him shamelessly.
"Is that supposed to be a joke?"
"No…" Azula smirked. "It's a threat." She whispered as she brushed past him. Sokka gritted his teeth and shivered against his will. "So where is this place anyway?" She glanced around the center of the village. She could feel many of the men staring at her.
In their possession they held the one thing that could ruin everything they had fought for and everything that they had died for. Ozai was flawed and broken, even if he was released he would never be able to raise up the allies and forces it would take to re-conquer the world. But Azula was shrewd, and Azula was cunning. If she put her mind to it she could make anything happen. She knew it was in their power to kill her if they wanted. If they were trying to kill her with kindness it would never work, she wouldn't change her ways just because they showed her genuine mercy. Nevertheless, they all held their weapons a little closer when she was around.
Azula folded her arms around herself and pouted. She would never ever feel comfortable here. Her ink black hair blew around her face in the acrid wind.
"Just down the hill." He said uneasily. "If we hurry we may be able to get there while there are still people around who can watch you fall of your ass. And yes, that's a challenge." He told her as she opened her mouth to protest.
"What do I have to do?" She said with determination.
"You attach blades to the bottom of your boots and glide around on the ice." He said it like it was something simple and effortless. Azula's face fell.
She paused for a moment. "You're fucking with me aren't you?"
"No." He replied dryly.
"Why would you do a silly thing like that?" She said in the most insulting voice she could muster.
"Because it's… you know… fun? You did have fun in the hot Fire Nation, didn't you?"
"Oh yeah, we used to pour kerosene on things and watch them burn all day. Sometimes we used people and small fluffy animals!"
"Really?" His eyebrows shot up like rockets.
"No. I was fucking with you." She rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you fell for that."
"I wouldn't put it past you." He mumbled under his breath. Azula didn't think it was worth her time to force him to repeat himself.
"We used to host Agni Kai tournaments in the palace all the time. Only the best to of the best were allowed to compete. After I beat everyone it was entertaining to watch them try to kill each other to get second place." She shrugged nonchalantly.
"Still not seeing how that's supposed to be fun." He said dubiously. "Just a bunch of shirtless guys throwing fire at each other, really."
"In Sozin's era women used to fight topless too." She remarked, gripping her chin between two fingers contemplatively.
"Is that so?" He said with genuine curiosity.
"They changed the rules when the men finally figured out it gave us an unfair advantage, but it's still practiced in certain circles." She smiled suggestively.
"Well what do you know; I knew the Fire Nation had to have contributed something useful to the world." He replied in a deadpan tone.
Azula decided not to justify this comment with a retort. "Let's just get this over with." She grumbled, her usual dark mood returning.
They smoothly slid down a snow bank to reach a circlet of polished ice. A young girl was spinning around with precise elegance on the surface. Azula fought to keep her jaw from falling open in envy. After watching the child for a few moments, she grinned confidently.
Sokka was already attaching some sort of contraption to his shoes. She dropped into the patch of fluffy snow beside him. "How exactly does one go about doing this?"
"Put these on. I'm pretty sure you can figure it out."
"I could cut your throat with one of these." She reminded him, holding up one of the blades.
"Of course you could." He acknowledged with a roll of his eyes. She glowered at him severely. (How dare he belittle her ability to slaughter him!) If he noticed, he ignored her and leaped onto the ice. The young girl waved to him amiably. Azula sighed and went to work buckling the skates on. When she looked up she saw Sokka sashaying backwards on the ice.
This time she couldn't help but lean back into the snow and raise an eyebrow at this bizarre display. "Well look at you," She crossed her arms and the corner of her mouth quirked upward slightly. "You're upstaging that little girl. Where did you learn all that fancy foot work?"
Sokka chuckled humorlessly. "You can sit there slouching provocatively all day if you'd like princess, or you can get out here and prove that you're not a complete pansy."
"Speak for yourself, spineless craven." She retorted. She hauled herself up onto unstable feet and as she looked down at the edge of the ice, she was met with a sudden apprehension.
"Well would you look at this." He taunted her. "The notorious Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, who perfectly executed a bloodless coup on the impenetrable city, reputedly has beauty as sharp as a whip and used to have peerless firebending skills, is now completely intimidated by a patch of ice."
Upon hearing this, Azula stepped out onto the ice immediately without a second thought. She slid outward, but remained otherwise motionless and steady.
"Beginner's luck." Sokka commented slyly, trying his best to look unimpressed.
"I have impeccable posture. This is not surprising to me." She informed him candidly. He circled around her casually with his hands clasped behind his back.
"Let's see how you do when you really get started. Go on princess, let's see if you really are good at everything."
Azula, never one to be belittled, progressed slowly but successfully. For the first few strokes her skates made deep graceless lines in the ice. He trailed silently behind her, watching her awkward progress.
"You're getting there." He said, loitering directly behind her ear and startling her enough to cause her to temporarily loose her balance.
He easily caught her, and she gripped his shoulder tightly for a few moments before she realized what had happened. Every muscle in her body tensed and she pulled herself away, averting her gaze immediately. Sokka coughed and scratched the back of his head. Azula hastily slid away.
She never fell. Azula was calmly gliding over the circle of ice by the end of the hour, and before long, she was gaining speed and attempting simple spins. Eventually the novelty wore off and she lost interest. She sat in the snow and shed the skates from her boots.
"Bored already?" Sokka asked in exasperation, stopping short.
Azula said nothing, just raised an eyebrow and pressed her lips together in a patronizing pout.
"There is just no pleasing you. No wonder you don't have any friends." Sokka said, throwing his hands in the air.
"Your foolish water tribe customs have failed to impress me yet again." She sighed, inspecting her nails. "Why does this surprise you? And why would I need friends when I have affably hostile enemies?"
"Well then I guess I'll have to just take you back to the village where the rest of your amusing enemies await you." He stood beside her grinning smugly and offered her a gloved hand. She accepted the gesture warily and he pulled her onto her feet. When she stood at full height their bodies were almost flush against each other. Azula looked up at him suspiciously; her long dark eyelashes curled upward like spider legs. She had suddenly remembered something she wanted from him.
"Thank you peasant." She said cautiously and quietly, it was a loaded statement. Any possible response he could have made was cut off abruptly. Azula pressed her lips to his swiftly, pushing them even closer together. She was pleasantly surprised that he did not pull away immediately, and the kiss lasted longer than she needed. For some reason he wouldn't let her pull away, even though his response was harsh and conveyed something like loathing.
She gripped the front of his fur coat with one of her hands while the other brushed along the weapons on his belt. He smelt fresh, the scent of grass and blooming trees clung to him from the summer lands he had just traveled from. Her heart fluttered for less than an instant and she wondered for an even shorter amount of time if this was what it felt like to have someone who genuinely cared about you. Then he pushed her away, suddenly and violently.
"What the fuck was that?" He gasped, looking horrified. Whether it was with himself or at her, she could not say.
Her lips were still parted in surprise. For a while she did not know what lie to tell him. "I don't know." She replied emotionlessly, her eyes trailed away to a point somewhere on the snowy ground.
Sokka ran, leaving her standing alone in the frozen wasteland. A light snow had begun to fall again, and the wind was gently picking up. Her hair and her clothes swayed forward, but she did not move her eyes until he was lost to her somewhere in the coming storm.
She gingerly slipped the blade out from her sleeve and wondered how long it would take for him to realize it was missing. "How did you get your hands on this?" She murmured to herself, inspecting the familiar Earth Kingdom knife. Azula felt a little nostalgic remembering how jealous she had been of Zuko's gift. She ran her finger along the sharp edge, it easily split her skin. Drops of blood coated the blade and dripped off the point into the snow. It was the same blood that ran through her brother's veins. Azula though it looked rather fitting.
The inscription was faded, but still prominent on the steel. Never give up without a fight.
Azula smiled for the first time in a while. Zuko may have beaten her, but he had not taken her playing piece down, and given time to think, Azula could get out of any situation. Suddenly her prospects were not looking so hopeless after all.
Can you tell I wrote this in the midst of an extremely snowy/cold New England winter? After writing this I'm pretty sure it's next to impossible for me to write a piece that isn't beset with symbolism/metaphors. Did you pick up on a few?
Plus: I'm sorry; I tend to write stories with unhappy and/or inconclusive endings. I should be posting a new Azula-based story (with a sprinkling of Sokkla of course) later this month. And hopefully another Azula&Zuko story, if I'm lucky.
Please *review* in the meantime! (especially if you favorite this -_- you know who you are. Yup. The people who favorite without reviewing? I'm talkin' to you)