A/N: ladies and gentlemen (are there really boys who read my stories??), I'm proud to present to you, The Mismatched Adventures of Tao Boy and Ainu Girl. anyways, for you newcomers, this is actually going to be a five chapter sidestory to my other story Unwritten (if you would be so kind as to read it if your heart desires to) but it stands on its own as well.
DEDICATIONS: first and foremost to my most dedicated and loyal reviewer tfg! s/he has reviewed nearly every chapter of every story i've ever written! thank you so much! to Roni-chan for being an absolute sweetheart in her reviews of Unwritten (Roni-chan, I hope you somehow come across this story eheh). to Chokopoppo for writing the longest reviews ever! and finally to applestoapples for reminding me i still had to write this story =)
June
"A chicken."
"That's normally what hens are, Ainu girl."
"A chicken."
"Yes."
"He gave me a chicken."
Pirika and Ren simply stared at the hen that was currently clucking and waddling around the kitchen floor of the Usui's household. Not only was it a hen, it was a pink hen. As in every single feather on this bird was strangely a light pink color. Pirika looked down again at the card she had untied from around the chicken's leg.
Dear Pirika,
I'm entrusting you with my prized pet, Morphine. Please take this as a sign of our friendship!
- Lyserg
"What the heck!" Pirika moaned as she pocketed the card.
"I think Brit boy just wants to get rid of the chicken so he doesn't have to take it back to England with him."
"Did he get her when his foreign exchange group went to that one festival?" Pirika mused, picking up Morphine and putting her in the makeshift pen Horohoro constructed. "Wow, she sure grew fast if she hatched from an egg just a year ago."
"Why is it pink?" Morphine pecked Ren's hand through the wire as if to say Bitch, please. "Ow, stupid chicken!"
Pirika poured some grain through the wire and patted Morphine on the head. "You're not stupid." She turned to Ren. "On the other hand…"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Aren't you supposed to be going to the gym already? Just leave."
"Well, if your brother wasn't so finicky like you—"
Horohoro entered the kitchen with a cookie firmly clenched between his teeth. "Hurrnhg?" Ren rolled his eyes and plucked the baked good from the Ainu boy's mouth. "Are you ready to go? We can work out for an hour and a half before going to the airport to pick up…" He looked down at the letter he had received earlier that year from the school. "Matilda Matisse."
Manta Oyamada, aged seventeen going on eighteen but looked like he was ten, gulped and said a quick prayer before proceeding to arrival area. Please, God, I'm too young to die. I really truly am. Please just let me survive the next school year.
The facts were these: Manta Oyamada was just your average perfect student. He had the perfect grades and was guaranteed to be next year's valedictorian. He had been notified just a month ago that he had received a scholarship to a prestigious university in America. He took the most advanced classes possible. His volunteer work was spent between working at the library and helping out at the local museum. Teachers loved him. He was best friends with the most popular guy in school (read: Yoh Asakura) and was associated with the most sought after guy in school (read: Tao Ren). His family was filthy rich, considering his father owned one of the largest company in the world. Not just Japan. The world. He even somehow managed to secure a spot on the varsity lacrosse team (granted, he was only recording the team's statistics for Bason but still).
However, with every silver lining comes a cloud. Manta had never had a girlfriend and from the looks of it, he probably won't in the near future. He was either seen as an adorable little boy or completely undateable or both by all the female students at Funbari Hill High School. The girl who he probably had the biggest chance of a romantic relationship (read: one Tamao Tamamura) since she was relatively new to the school and had no idea of Manta's gaping lack of relationship material had recently gotten together with who Manta considered to be a total idiot (who, as most idiots are, was considerably popular).
His father fully expected Manta to work in his company one day after he graduated from college in a field that Manta detested: war weapons. Mr. Oyamada had already begrudgingly consented to Manta's attending of college (which Mr. Oyamada considered to be a huge waste of time since his son could be learning the ropes in the company…) so every time Manta saw his father all he heard was: "You're wasting my money and my time."
Last year when he was a junior, he realized that he had become an outsider because of outsiders. He barely spent time with his old group because he had been concentrating so hard on his extracurricular activities and studies so he could get into college that he had neglected to hang out with Yoh and company. Halfway through the year he decided to stop by and saw to his dismay that he had been replaced. He saw that his friends could survive without him. No one had inquired where he was. Everyone, including himself had moved on. The turning point was when he was at some school function and he had missed Yoh and Anna leave for America.
Anyways, all angsting aside for now, Manta hesitantly raised his hand to get the attention of three certain European girls. This is going to be a terrifying summer.
"Hey!" Horohoro exclaimed after the Tao boy had mercilessly thrown a towel at him in the locker rooms.
"That's what you get for hogging the weights to yourself all afternoon," Ren stated dismissively as he began to change.
"Still sore about that?" Horohoro peeled off his socks. "Good work out today, Pointy Head."
"Do you and your sister just sit around in your spare time and swap degrading nicknames for me for kicks and giggles?" Ren zipped his bag up again. "You and Pirika are exactly the same."
"Why yes, it's our favorite past time." The Ainu boy cocked his head playfully before his grin disappeared. His voice got oddly serious. "Do me a favor." He turned to look at his friend. "If you have no intentions of dating my sister or whatever, just lay off."
"What?" Ren dropped his shoes. Just a mere few weeks ago Horohoro had threatened to rip out Ren's spleen and kill him with it because he had been hanging around Pirika a little too much. He tried to talk but a gagging noise came out instead. How articulate of me…
"Just don't lead her on if there isn't even a chance for her, mmkay? I mean, you've seen the way she looks at you, right? She's going to get hurt and if she does I will kill you." Horohoro smiled at him as he slung his bag over his shoulder. "Time to go pick up one Miss Matisse."
Ren only noticed three minutes later that Horohoro had gone outside, effectively leaving the Tao boy alone with his thoughts.
"Horohoro! Ren!" Tamao waved as they joined her in the arrival area. "Manta said that they're running a little bit late…Wonder why. He's usually so punctual."
Out of nowhere, the diminutive boy in question appeared. Tied up in ropes. Held hostage by three menacing looking girls. All three of them looked like they wanted to kill people. The orange haired one was grinning manically and looked homicidal. The blue haired girl had the Screw around with me and I will use pliers to dislocate all of your fingers…and I will enjoy doing it expression perpetually on her face. The blond girl appeared to be one of those creepy killer types (you know, the ones that appear in The Ring, etc), further enhanced by the fact she was holding onto a dismembered, what looked to be a rotting doll.
"Er…hey…guys…" Manta seemed like he was on the verge of dying.
"Manta!" Tamao looked horrified. "What happened?"
"Our kind host here offered to take us shopping in the designer boutiques around the airport," Kanna said, bored as ever, adjusting her new sunglasses.
"Uh, isn't all the merchandise here overpriced because tourists are more likely to spend money on gifts for their friends and relatives back home?" Horohoro asked slowly, remembering Professor Luchist's lecture on that phenomena in his economics class last year.
"And your point is…?" Homicidal red head leaned against her gun as she put her hand on her hip.
"Is…is that a gun?" Tamao managed to squeak out. Why did Funbari Hill High School allow these girls to be part of the program? "How did you get past security?"
"Um, I wouldn't be a professional if I'd get caught by some stupid airport security guard. That'd be laaaaame, right?" The blond girl beside her nodded.
A professional what? Tamao decided she'd be better off not knowing. "Ah…so…which one of you will be staying with me?" She tried her best to be polite and forced a smile.
Blondie turned towards Kanna. "That one is Tamamura?" The taller girl nodded. "Mari will be staying with you."
Tamao looked at the red head again. "Er, it's a pleasure to meet you…Mari." Great, of course, I'd get stuck with crazy girl with a gun.
"I'm not Mari…she is. Mari refers to herself in the third person." She jutted her thumb at the blonde that had just spoken. "I'm Matilda. Or Macchi. Whichever one you prefer. And I get to stay with Usui this time." She glared at him as he shrunk back. "I had some good times with your sister last year." She grinned cruelly as she remembered a particularly pleasing thought. "Ah, yes, dyeing Ainu girl's hair a nice shade of neon yellow last year right before the cheerleading team's yearbook picture. That one's a classic."
Horohoro counted on his fingers before he spoke. "Then who's Kanna staying with?"
The older girl rolled her eyes and adjusted her brand new leather handbag. "Shortie here of course. We're going to have a lot of fun, aren't we?" She menacingly stuck her still lit cigarette precariously close to the poor boy's face as if to dare him to disagree with her.
"Y-Yes, Kanna, whatever you say. Pleasedon'tkillme!"
As the three foreign exchange students were busy laughing over Manta, Tamao grabbed Horohoro and Ren by the arms and yanked them aside. "What have we gotten ourselves into?"
July
Brrrriiiiiingggggg.
"Pick up."
Brrrriiiiiingggggg.
"Pick up!"
Brrrriiiiiingggggg.
"What?"
"Hey, Ren!"
"Pirika?"
"Yup!"
Bzzzzt.
The girl blinked before setting the phone back in the cradle. "That's the ninth time he's done that this month…" She rested her cheek in the cup of her palm. "I wonder if he's trying to tell me something. Hmmm…"
At that second, her brother walked in, dirty and grimy, from the backyard. "Hey, Horohoro?"
"You know, it wouldn't kill you to help me in the garden once in a while. It's getting overrun with weeds." He went over to the sink to wash the dried soil off of his hands. A clump of dirt fell off of his hand, landing particularly hard into the dirty sink water and splattering it onto his face. "Feh!"
"Eh, I just got a manicure." She held up her newly done nails in her defense. After observing that that wasn't going to fly, she tried a different route. "I'm allergic to physical activity…? Macchi isn't doing any work!"
He sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, wiping his hands onto his jeans. "First off, Macchi is kind of our guest, no matter how terrifying, scary, horrifying, homicidal, violent, frightening, terrorizing she might be." He winced as the past month's memories came flooding back and paused before continuing. "She's still…our…guest. And second, I wouldn't dare ask her because she's terrifying, scary, horrifying, homicidal, violent—"
"Okay, okay, I get it." Pirika pouted as she twirled a lock of her hair around her finger.
"What were you asking earlier?" Horohoro went back to the sliding door to close it. On the way he tripped over one of Macchi's guns. "Oh. My. God." He went pale before backing away from it. "Thank you, Lord, it's not loaded."
"Have you seen Ren recently?"
"Hmm…last time I saw him was a month ago. Isn't he doing something with his family? Or something. Can't remember."
"Hnnnngh."
Horohoro looked up suspiciously. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I've called him nine times—"
"What."
"Over the past month. Relax. I'm not that much of a stalker to call him nine times in a day or whatever." She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Phew. You got me scared for a second." He restarted his attempt at closing the door to the backyard.
"And every time I call him and he finds out it's me, he hangs up! What's the deal with that?" She pouted. "I don't get it. Last month, we were hanging out, all fine and dandy—"
"Did you seriously just say dandy? I refuse to call you my sister."
"—and now, it's like…it's like he's avoiding me!" Her eyes widened as if she just realized it. "Oh my God, he's avoiding me, Horohoro!"
"Um…" Oh crap, this is my fault. I told Ren to ask her out or lay off. Obviously he wasn't going to ask her out. He's never liked a girl in his entire life! Luckily for him, Tamao entered through the front door. "Hey, look! Tamao's here for your shopping date. Why don't you talk about boys and makeup and clothes and other girl stuff that isn't my forte and I have no knowledge of whatsoever! Especially the boys part! Definitely didn't say anything to Ren about you at all! No, sir!" He shoved Pirika out the door past a very confused Tamao. "Have fun, you two!"
"Huh?" Tamao actually looked a bit frightened.
Just go with it, he mouthed. Only when the two pulled out from the driveway did he allow himself to relax. "Oh yeah. I'm a master of subtlety, she definitely didn't suspect anything!" He smiled and put his hands on his hips, feeling rather pleased with himself.
"Ugh! He's so stupid! Why won't my idiot of a brother just stay out of my life!" Pirika howled as they walked down the sidewalk. The two entered a store. "I hate him!" she lamented to the bewildered sales clerk that had come over to welcome them.
"Pirika, he's just looking out for you is all…" Tamao held up a shirt in front of a mirror.
"He told Ren to ask me out or to stop hanging out with me? Who does he think he is?!" Pirika snapped at a nearby mannequin.
"Well, sometimes your brother doesn't really always make the best decisions…" Tamao shrugged.
"Hmph, whatever. I can fix this. There's nothing I can't fix. Sorry about ranting so much." Pirika grumpily picked her way through a clearance bin. "Anyways, what's up with you?"
"Nothing much." Tamao placed a skirt over her wrist so she could try it on later. "Well, actually…there's something…" She turned pink in the face. "I've been meaning…to ask."
The younger girl perked up. "Ah, tell me! Tell me!"
"This is really embarrassing…" Tamao hung her head. "Er, how does it feel…to…um…be kissed?"
Pirika sighed, knowing Tamao was referring to the incident between her and Ren at the lacrosse game a few months ago. "I don't know. How does it feel to be in a relationship?" she replied in a bored voice.
"Good one. So how's Macchi treating you?"
"Ugh, don't even get me started. Just think of the neon yellow hair fiasco. Except stretch that out for a month."
"Try living with Mari. She's so creepy!" Tamao shuddered. "When I get up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, she's there. When I'm about to go to bed at like three in the morning, she's there. When I come in after a late night, she's there. She just…stands in the middle of the living room, looking all creepy and eerie and holding that…that doll thing of hers." Tamao began to shrink with each word she was saying as she recalled the last month's encounters. "She looks like she's straight out of The Ring!"
"At least Mari doesn't have guns lying all over the place. Horohoro tripped over one earlier today. If it had been loaded…I'd hate to think what would happen." The two girls winced.
"Looks like we've got a couple of certified maniacs on our hands," Tamao said dryly as Pirika laughed.
"I know, right? Kanna looks like the model student now compared to them."
Right at that second the German girl in question walked right by the store window.
"Speak of the devil and she—Oh, my. Does she have—"
"Yes. She does have him on a—"
"Poor Manta."
"I can't believe she has him in a straitjacket! And tied to her arm with a rope, no less!" The girl exited out of view, followed by a miserable looking Manta who was tethered to her. "That's so humiliating! It's not like he's an animal or her slave!" Pirika stomped her foot. "Someone needs to do something about these girls!"
"Like what? We're supposed to be polite to them or Goldva is going to get mad…Remember, they do annual reports of their hosts at the end of the year." Tamao bit her lip. "But I would like to see someone put them in their place…"
Pirika grinned cunningly.
"Uh-oh. No, Pirika. I know that grin. That means you're up to something. Something bad." Tamao waved her hands as if to ward off the other girl.
"Who said we have to be the ones to do it?"
Tamao furrowed her brows. "Where are you going with this? There's no one brave enough to endure Mr. Goldva's wrath if the foreign exchange students get upset."
"No. No, there isn't anyone brave enough. But there is someone stupid enough."
"Huh? Who?"
But Pirika was way ahead of her. She pressed a number on her speed dial and waited for the person to pick up on the other line. "Hello? Chocolove? Hey, it's Pirika! I have a…favor…to ask of you."
August
"Huff, huff, how is it so hot here? I didn't know America was another name for hell!" Yoh panted as he fanned himself with his hand.
"Stop whining. It's Arizona, what do you expect?" Anna pushed her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose and adjusted her hat.
"It feels more like a sauna than anything else…" Yoh said as he lugged their suitcases up the stairs. "I hope the apartment has air conditioning."
"You got the place for dirt cheap. You seriously think that it's going to have air conditioning? I'll be surprised if we have a working stove and shower," she stated dismissively. "Out of the way, pregnant mother coming through." She shoved herself in front of Yoh, causing the boy to almost lose his balance and fall backwards down the stairs.
It can't possibly be that ugly and rundown. I saw pictures of it on the Internet before I put down a payment. I thought it actually looked kind of nice. Yoh rushed so he could open the door for Anna. "Here we are!" he announced and threw the door open with a flourish.
"Oh."
"My."
"God."
The two just stood there and gaped. Yoh dropped all the suitcases he had been carrying.
"What is this?" Anna's eye began to twitch.
"I-I-I-I-I—"
"We're supposed to live here?" She carefully stepped into the apartment. (More like a room with flimsy partitions in it). "And what's that smell?" Her hands flew to her nose as she turned to look at Yoh for an explanation. "How…how can there be no electrical plugs in the living room? Or this room? Or even this room!"
"I-I-I-I-I—"
Anna gave herself a disgusted, quick tour of the place. "Hmph, I said that we'd be lucky to have a functioning stove and shower? We don't even have a bathroom or a kitchen in here. We need a refrigerator for groceries! A stove or even a microwave to cook! I don't think there was even a communal bathroom outside for the entire floor to use."
"I-I-I-I-I—"
She stepped into the only semi-secluded room (which was, by normal standards, still extremely exposed to the rest of the apartment). "There aren't any beds in here either! I thought the seller said that it came with furniture! Where are supposed to sleep, the floor? No closets or drawers either, so I suppose they expect us to live out of our suitcases?"
"I-I-I-I-I—"
She turned around and for the first time, he saw that Anna's eyes were filled with panic. "Yoh." She looked at him and blinked a few times as if she had been jolted into reality. "What are we going to do?"
And for the first time, he didn't actually think that everything was going to be okay. That everything would work out by itself. He took a deep breath, surveyed the room, and looked at her dead in the eyes. "I…I don't know."
"Jeanne!" Lyserg smiled as he ran through the hallway of the hotel they were staying at. "Jeanne!" The last two months had been pure bliss and every second he was overjoyed that he had gotten a job transporting equipment for her new music school as they traveled around Europe to perform. He felt like singing and skipping and dancing every day and shouting at the world, "Why yes, I am in love, thank you very much!" at the top of his lungs.
He skidded to a halt in front of her room and took a deep breath before knocking.
"Ah! Oh…oh dear. C-Come…in." He cocked his head before turning the knob. He'd never heard Jeanne so flustered before.
Pirika took a deep breath before ringing the Tao's extremely intimidating and ornate door bell. Jeez, these guys sure have money to burn.
A servant opened the door. "Yes?"
"Um, could you call Ren down for me?" This is ridiculous. I haven't seen him all summer.
"You just caught him. He's leaving for France later on today." The servant disappeared and called for her master.
France? Why would he be going to— "Ren!"
He stepped forward in a daze, a phone still clutched in one of his hands. "Oh. Hi, Pirika."
Lyserg entered the room to find Jeanne sitting in a chair, blinking rapidly in disbelief as she put her hotel phone down.
"Jeanne? Are you okay? What happened?"
She narrowed her eyes momentarily as she was caught off guard. He never calls me Pirika.
"Ren? Are you okay? What happened?"
"I—"
"I—"
"What?"
"What?"
"I'm getting married."
A/N: OMFG CLIFFHANGER! =) Review please?