Parenting

by SHA260

One sided angst. Reeve was always Rufus' best friend, always like a father to him. What or who could come between that? It's hard to watch a child grow up, even if they were never yours to start with.

I remember when you used to come to me. I used to be your Dad, your friend, your confidante. He never knew how sweet you could really look, and I was your everything. I was the first one to see a true smile on your face, the first one to see how it lights up those beautiful blue-grey eyes. I remember the days when you used to smile for me.

I have always done everything I could for you. I taught you how to read, write, play chess... the expression of your simple pleasure, your joy... it melted me. I was like clay in your hands, malleable in whatever you wished.

Then HE saw fit to assign you a new bodyguard. Your old ones never cared, they were happy to leave you with me for hours on end... we had such fun. You were my only friend.

Now you have him... without me you would never have been able to become so close, you never would have learned how to speak his language. You forget me, all you need is him, you spend so many hours with him, and I hear your laugh echoing down the halls from your office. The second biggest office in the whole building. You've done so well for yourself, become a real heartbreaker to all the men and women, with your perfect ice cold eyes and your ash blonde hair, your imperious manner.

It's my heart that's broken now of course, while I sit here in my office, with my only friend that's left. A robot cat I made myself. It's cold here, and dark without your smile lighting up the room. You were like my son. Now you've grown up and away from me, as all children do, but it's not the same. This is a different distance, you're too young for the usual difference. You used to admire me, you used to love me. We were equals. Now you're my superior in every way, and you know it.

You asked me to put my job, my life on the line for you, and I've done it without a second thought.

What sort of Dad would I be if I turned my back on you?

I'm so proud of you Rufus.

Maybe one day you'll remember what things used to be like, and this office might live again. However, for the moment, it's like me. Not living, just existing.