Author's note: i just wanted to say that i don't own any of the characters in this story or any of the chapters that follow :D

This actually started out as a social studies assignment where we had to use some words we had unscrambled in a story...i just had way too much fun with it xD

--------------------------------------------------

Once upon a time, there was a vampire named Jasper Hale. He was changed in 1863 by a vampire named Maria when he was 20 years old, a while before the cotton gin was invented. Because he was so ravenous for blood, human blood that is, he became depressed. But then –out of nowhere- The Punk Prince of Power Pop, Pete Wentz appeared, along with his fall out boys. "Don't worry!" he said "I'll take you under my wing, and teach you to be EMO!"

*Five bottles of jet-black hair dye, two guyliner pencils, and a pair of fingerless gloves later…*

"OH…MY…SANTI!" Jasper said in horror "I look like a GIRL!" "NO! It's perfect" said an unrecognized voice from behind… "WTF?" said Jasper. "uhm I'm not not a fan girl if that's what you think…no homo" said the one and only absolutely GORGEOUS William Beckett, in his 'A Little Less Sixteen Candles' music video attire. "The chicks will dig it" said Pete with a smile "Trust me, it works." *wink*

"Are you sure? "said Jasper, a little uneasy. "Oh we're sure all right" said William looking in the distance behind Jasper. "Here comes a girl now." Jasper turned to see a raven haired beauty looking him up and down. "Maria?!?!?!" Jasper said in shock… "What?" she asked "I'm just checking out the goods" she said fluttering her eyelashes, the edges of her mouth curling into a smile. "Well pretty lady" Jasper said, gyrating his hips in an Elvis like manner. "Would you like to go on a date this Saturday night?" "Su-"she said, her voice being cut off by an ear drum shattering high-pitched scream…

"Get yo greasy vampire hands off my man" Alice screeched in a ghetto salt n' peppa I'll take yo man kind of way. "I'm so gangsta-licious…" Alice said, beginning the gangsta-licious song by Chelsey Davona Adams no copyright infringement intended or she will go all GODMUTHA on you and give you an offer you can't refuse "I'm so dang capricious..Can't nobody else be…They can't do it like me…na-nana-na-nana BUH-BUHBUH-BUH-BUHBUH BOOM!" she then did the booty hop towards jasper who was so impressed he started dancing with her.

"OKAY! This story needs be P-G PEOPLE!!!" screamed Pete from the background. Jasper and Alice instantly stopped and tried to compose themselves. "That's better" said Pete. "Now back to what William and I were saying before you got mobbed by two vampire girls…The chicks WILL dig it…I'm pretty sure we've proved that by now, but they will." "Wow…"said Jasper "who knew being emo would be so fun?" "Well they DO say 'Come to the dark side we have fresh cookies' in the How to Be Emo YouTube video." said William.

Suddenly, a sharp 'OINK!' came from the distance. "oh my god…is that a…a-" 'SPIT IT OUT MAN!" Jasper yelled at Pete. "a FLYING PIG?!?!" Yes, that's right, I wrote it, a FLYING PIG wings, snout, and all. There it was, the Great Flying Pig Migration of 1863 being played out right in front of them. "Don't worry!" exclaimed Pete. "I and my Fall Out Boys can take them out with our rockin' new single 'I Don't Care'!" Pete then proceeded to whip out his bass while Patrick let the music flow through him and finally explode out of him in the form of a heaven-sent voice.

The next ten minutes was filled with amazing, 'we're just a bull you ears are a china shop', pounding music and, of course lots of head banging and moshing. After the mini-concert was finished and the flying pigs ran, I mean flew away, their tails between their legs Maria looked at Jasper with the ever so manipulating 'puppy dog pout' and asked "so Jazz, I guess it's over between us? I was hoping I could experiment with vampire boyfriends instead of humans.""Sorry…Maria" Alice spat out her name "I'm afraid Jasper is taken. Isn't that right, hun?" Jasper got a little nervous, and for some odd reason all of a sudden everyone else was too. 'I wonder if this is my special gift' he thought. He decided to experiment and send a wave of calm over the whole group. Everybody instantly let out a sigh of relief "Cool" he whispered.

"Well Jazzy baby?" Alice asked, calmly waiting for his answer. The minute he looked into her amber eyes he melted like putty in her hands. He looked at Maria, feeling a twinge of guilt. "I'm sorry but I really am taken" he said. "Oh…uhm…okay" Maria whispered sheepishly. She looked over towards Pete "So how do you feel about dating the immortal?" she asked in her flirtiest voice possible. "I..uhm..erm" he got so nervous in her presence he started babbling like a three month old that just discovered it could make noise. "I'll take that as a yes" Maria said and winked.

Jasper then decided to play with his power to change the emotions of the people around him and send a wave of 'OHMYGAWDILOVE THISWOMANINEEDTOKISSHER" through Pete and then a wave of "HOLYCRAPIHATETHISGUYHENEEDSTOGETAWAYOHNORAPERAPERAPE" through Maria. Pete instantly ran over to grab Maria and kiss her but Maria instantly put him in a chokehold and hissed "Don't ever touch me again you slime ball slug dude"

Suddenly there was a booming laugh from this distance along with a "sssshhh!" Ah yes, it was Emmet and Rosalie and of course the rest of the Cullens. Emmett lumbered out from the nearby bushes and Rosalie walked out so gracefully any nearby ballerina would burst into tears. "What the heck are you doing here?" said Jasper sending a wave of "HOLYCRAPISHOULDBESCARED" at Emmet. "Well we were gonna leave but then it got good when Alice started rapping" Emmett said with a huge laugh…