Disclaimer: I don't own Disney...
A/N: I'm sad. Sorry. It's just-- Yeah.
Morose
Summary: It was duly noted that there was one more star shining in heavens that night --And it brought no condolences to him that he had been the one to put it there.
[ And of all the stars in heaven
I saw yours shining bright
And of all my heart's desires
I wished for your love tonight ]
How true those words were.
Of all the years I had lived here, it was the most beautiful, the most bright California night I had ever seen. I had never seen the moon reflect so clearly off the water, the moonlight bouncing across the gently rippling waves. The light, wispy cirrus clouds painted a white haze over the darkened night sky.
Just like the way my soul was cracked and covered with a dull sheet of pure emptiness.
I had learned in astronomy, where there was a period called the Nothing era. Our teacher emphasized that there was absolutely nothing in that stage. When people said there was nothing in the desert, there actually was something. Sand.
So according to her, there was no place on this earth that actually had nothing.
At this moment, I begged to differ.
There was a pitch-black hole inside of me, and I didn't know how to fix it. How do you make something out of nothing?
The only person I knew that could possibly fix that was now gone.
Staring back up at the sky, I reminisced, of how, only a few days ago, I had been lying on a beach, not too far away, staring at the pale blue sky. Her hand had been tucked safely into mine, our fingers teasing each other. She had turned her own blue eyes on me, and I found the definition of beauty.
It was something so pure, and kind within her eyes, I wanted to wash away, knowing I wasn't worthy to be in the presence of such goddess-like eyes. I'd never seen such depth into a person's soul.
That's when I knew I loved her.
And now, a few days later, I still hadn't told her, and lo' and behold, she was wiped away from existence.
I still remember how it happened.
We were walking along the road, the Californian breeze flowing around us, my board shorts flipping around.
She continued tucking her hair neatly behind her ear, as we talked. We talked, walking along the pier, and my life had been perfect.
"What do you think of stars?" she asked, and I assumed she meant celebrities.
"I dunno," was my lazy response. "I guess they can be self-centered sometimes..."
"No, no," she corrected, poking my side playfully. "I meant, what do you think of those stars up there?" She pointed upwards at the sunny skies.
"Oh."
I honestly didn't know. I thought she wanted a scientific response, but I had a feeling that she wanted a deeper meaning in my answer.
I pondered it.
"I-- I think-- I think--" I stuttered, because I really did not know. I looked at her, to see her looking back, and in her eyes, there was not the playful sparkle like there usually was, but an uncharacteristic wisdom. A knowledge beyond her years. A knowledge that took others a lifetime to gain.
"I think they're souls," she said simply. "Spirits."
"Whaddya mean?" I asked.
"When people die-- They go up there. We're part of a bigger being. We converge together in the end, up there, beyond our eyes, is where we actually come to rest."
With that piece of information, that I didn't quite understand, I nodded, and we continued along. Our regular conversation resumed.
Then, my life was altered.
We had been crossing the road, or well, she had been crossing ahead of me, skipping happily. I was laughing behind her, about 10 paces behind, telling her joking to slow down, and hold my hand. She had laughed, skipped back, and almost grasped my hand.
Almost.
No, fate had another one of its cruel plans.
Instead of fingers sliding against mine, they barely grazed mine, before there was a whiz, a honk, and a gust of air. My hair flapped around my face, and I staggered backwards, blinking.
And so, cue the end credits of my life.
I stared blankly at the spot where she had just been standing.
People crowded her, and surrounded her, murmuring, looking around apologetically.
I felt anger bubble up inside me.
"Don't touch her!" came an angry, hoarse, rough voice that didn't sound like me at all.
I was by her side, cradling her not-broken hand, and trying to see where all the blood was coming from. I couldn't seem to find a source. She was just.. Bleeding.
Bleeding red. It was something I would never forget. I knew it.
My attention was directed to her face, to her lips, which were once pink, light, and smooth. They were now drenched with blood, a bright, bright red. She coughed, and it splattered up into my face. She was dying, and she still had it in her to look apologetic.
"Ol--ver," she gurgled, trying to move her hand up to my face. I took her hand. I held it tight.
"Yeah Miles?"
She offered something that looked like a bloodied smile. "I--I-- I l--love you," she breathed. She had a desolate look on her face. "I-- Should... Told.. You-- So--Sooner--"
"--No, no, no--" I shushed her. "Don't say things like that," I said, my voice shaking. I was surprised I was able to formulate sentences. "Don't-- Just.. Don't talk. Save your energy."
She gurgled from within her throat, closing her eyes in pain. She shifted a little, her legs painfully twisted in awkward angles, the once faded jeans she was wearing, drenched with the sticky red liquid. I knelt down, too tired to crouch, and let my knees hit the asphalt, but not before they sank through the thick, sticky, red liquid. I felt queasy.
She was mumbling quietly now, and I leaned down to listen to her, whilst ignoring the murmured whispers of those around me. I wanted to scream at them-- To tell them off.
But Miley's soft whimpers were what was keeping me quiet and sane.
"Oll--Ollie," she murmured. "You-- You'll-- Don't-- Don't worry-- I'll al--ways b-be h-here..."
I let out a hiccup, knowing my sobs were coming. "I love you," I told her.
But her hand slackened.
And so, that's how I ended up lying on my back, the grass tickling my palms. I was still wearing my suit from the funeral.
I tried counting the stars. I tried staring past them, but the only thing clouding my mind, hazing through me, was the guilt that this had been my fault. Maybe if I hadn't asked her to come back to me, maybe she'd be here now, and we'd be counting the stars together.
But no.
I was stuck here on earth, staring at the stars, duly taking note of the fact that there was a bright new star in the sky. It twinkled mischievously, as if winking, and it sparkled like a thousand diamonds.
It was by far, the brightest star in the night sky, and the most beautiful.
So, the world lost one person in it's 6 billion population, the sky gained a new soul, and I lost myself.
I'm sad. Yay me.