Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.
I watched this as a younger kid and I loved the show. I always thought there was so much involved in the show that made it so awesome. It had humor, drama, even romance. Just a great show and I hope the version they're bringing back is as good as the original was.
This is a quick one-shot that focuses on my favorite character; Beast Boy, and a small insight upon his intelligence as compared to the other characters. It is a bit angsty, but hey, we all have our moments of angst. So no flames, and enjoy.
It's sad when I have to remind myself that it's all just an act to fool you guys. It's sad when I feel alienated in a team of misfits- in a team where most of us can no longer integrate into society. I shouldn't feel like an outcast; right?
Probably not; no. But I do, and I don't really know why they make me feel this way. At first, I suppose it was because I wasn't used to all of them yet- at least, not to their individual personalities. Raven, she was a cold, seemingly heartless witch from a foreign dimension. She probably pushed me away the most, using her 'superior' knowledge to her advantage. I bet she doubted that I knew what every scathing comment meant and more.
You wouldn't think a child from Africa, infused with a genetic serum to combat a deadly disease, would know what phlegmatic meant, used in the context to mean 'dumb'. Well, guess what? I do and it hurt knowing that is what she was trying to get across. Of course, I don't know why she'd use a large and fairly sophisticated word to insult someone who, by appearance, wouldn't know what it meant.
Defeats the purpose of the insult, right?
It always evaded me to that main purpose, but I did my best to play off the insult like I hadn't understood its meaning. I guess the one thing I know for a fact that I can do is perform a flawless facade. Raven, without a doubt, was convinced that I was clueless. The rest of the Titans followed suit, not even considering that perhaps, I did know what was happening.
In fact, there are times I actually believe I know more than they do. So I bet you are wondering, why don't I use that knowledge if I possess it?
Simply put; we have enough thinkers. Look at it this way; Cyborg is a mechanical genius. I may know a few things about machines and mechanics, but I can't put a car together like he can. He's analytically intelligent. But he's imaginative; which is probably one of the reasons I can get along with him.
Robin is... well, to be honest, not extremely smart, but he is very strategic. He can put together an entire battle-plan all in his head, in a matter of mere minutes. That's a different form of smarts, but he tries to up-play it and act as if he knows more than that. I think that's a reason we clash; he tries to hard to be something we both know he isn't, whereas, I try hard to be someone I'm not, but only I know it.
Raven, as I said, is very book-smart. She's intelligent on a multitude of levels, knowing a lot about almost everything. Her knowledge stems from Azarath and their culture being very founded upon knowledge. Ever heard of the saying, 'knowledge is power'? For the Azarathians, that was complete fact. They could study for hours in their almost unlimited library, sometimes forgetting to sleep.
To them, knowledge was life.
How do I know this? Easy; I studied upon Azarathian culture when the rest of the Titans were away having pizza or something. I opted not to go, feigning sickness, and just studied. I studied because their culture was powerful and very intriguing. If Trigon hadn't tore down their civilization, where would they be now?
Where would Raven be?
Getting back to the main topic, I've always been intelligent in my own brand. I'm a mix of analytical, strategy, book-smart... put into one, I'm just all-around smart. I'm like the jack of all trades- not overly proficient in anything. The only thing one person stands out is Starfire's vast knowledge of aliens and space. I mean, she was born to a vastly superior race- of course she'd know a lot more about the solar system and whatnot.
That's why I asked Starfire for astronomy lessons. I was always interested in life from other planets- and Starfire was very helpful in teaching me.
So finally, this all leads back to the final question: why hide my smarts?
Like I earlier said, we have enough thinkers. If you take too much time to think things through instead of taking the events in stride as they come to you, you fall behind in life. You are put into danger by your own hand. You make bad choices, you say bad things... you think too much and you lose sight of life. It's always good to thing choices through, but if you over-think and over-act, you lose yourself.
Sometimes, it's just better to smell the roses and enjoy what's given to you, rather than over-analyze the situation.
I know that I'll probably always be looked down because of that, but than again, who cares? I don't have to stress about things because I can stop to just relax- more so than the others can.
Of course, this means I can't complain about the hand I was dealt because it was my own choices that lent me my hand. I could, at any time, stop this facade and just be the intelligent hero I know I could be. But I feel like if I do, the team will fall apart.
One thing I know better than anyone is psychology. I know that everyone feels better when they're able to vent upon someone- usually, that someone is someone they feel beneath them. It's why bullies go out and wallop some unfortunate kid. Those bullies feel like they're above that kid, despite things being far different that one could assume.
Both those kids could be going through a terrible time at home, but only one has the mental strength not to stoop to a level like that.
It's the same for my team. Robin uses training to expend his frustrations- and on who, you may ask? Primarily me. I just close my eyes and brunt the pain as we spar. It hurts and I hate the feeling of being looked down on, but I know it's necessary. He'd break apart if it wasn't for me.
Starfire uses me as a personal diary- which isn't as bad. She doesn't insult me, nor does she really hurt me. She just talks to me, vents upon me and pretends that I'm kinda like a diary. I usually choose to be a kitten for this, seeing as how she prefers to not make eye-contact and usually just wants to talk. I lay on her lap and she'll stroke my back as she talks about what Earth life is like for her.
And in a way, that's the good thing about my facade. As 'clueless' and 'careless' as I am, I think Starfire is the only one who really knows the truth. She just has that keen eye... she might know the truth. That's maybe why she agreed to the astronomy lessons.
Anyways, moving on, Cyborg... he yells. Loud. Usually, he'll go off on me for any little small thing, deciding to yell at me, getting up in my face to make me feel smaller than him. Which isn't too hard, seeing as how he's pretty large compared to me in everyday life. This yelling usually busts my sensitive eardrums, and tweaks my confidence, but nothing too bad. He usually insults my careless nature and says I need to 'grow up'.
Funny; I figured after losing my childhood to my parent's death, my own personal kidnapping and being brought the US, and several assassination attempts, I'd be allowed to be a kid for once.
Nope.
Finally; Raven. Raven is all of them combined- and much worse. She usually doesn't yell, but when she does, it's with fire, dark tendrils and a lot of debris and cursing. She usually breaks out the personal insults and basically attempts to break my arms and legs. She'll throw me from the tower, try to drown me or just throw anything she can reach at me- which sucks because of her powers.
But if it weren't for me, she might go insane. I'm almost confident she would- which worries me.
So they may not know it, but I need to stay my joking self, my facade, because if I ever reverted to my intelligence... we'd lose this team.
Being smart is a good thing- but people need to remember, that it isn't just smart people that make this world go around. It's everyone who wants to contribute. There's more to each person than you'll ever guess.
More to each person... than you'll ever know.