Er…I found this story last night, digging through a notebook, and while it's not my best effort, it's something. And I'm trying to get back to writing more fanfic (it's something to do). So here goes nothing…(yeah, the title's lame, but I couldn't think of anything better and I wanted to post this).
Own no characters, make no profit, intend no copyright infringement. I'm getting that quite compact, aren't I?
Nightly Conversation
"So, another one's gone," the Doctor sighed. "Two, really. Turlough and I were just really getting to know each other as well. I thought we were anyway…
"Yes, I know you didn't trust him. None of you did, not even Nyssa, and she is usually such a trusting girl. I don't think that boy was ever trusted by anyone. Perhaps that was why I took a risk bringing him with me? I don't know. I just know I wasn't prepared to make any judgments yet.
"And he made a good friend in the end, don't you agree? He was even sorry to see Tegan go…"
A flicker of pain crossed the Doctor's face. "Oh Tegan," he sighed softly. "You were right. I have no control anymore. How do I let these situations arise? So much violence. I cause so much violence. Kamelion—
"Hush now," he soothed, "if you're not careful you'll wake Peri. It must be said. You know I did it. I killed Kamelion." He forced himself to say the words. "It's not bad enough I let Adric die on that freighter, I had to kill Kamelion—
"Hush! It's alright, it's alright. I'm alright. He—Kamelion wanted it. We both knew it had to be done; he couldn't escape the Master's control. You have to make those sorts of decisions sometimes—"
He stopped, listening, and nodded wearily. "Yes. Hollow excuses. You're right, old girl. You must keep me from falling in that trap. I can't allow myself to go down that road; the extremes would be too easy…
"But we won't let anything happen to Peri, yes? I know I shouldn't have agreed to her staying, but she's curious, she wants to travel. How could I of all people deny her that?"
The Doctor smiled slightly. "I'm glad you like her."
His face turned serious after a moment of thoughtful silence, the smile fading to a worried frown as his thoughts continued their trend without his speaking. He looked up at last at the inquiring hum, and another smile flickered briefly on his pale face. "I'm alright. It's been too long since I've talked with you, hasn't it? I am sorry for neglecting you, especially after all you've gone through. Things have been—difficult. This regeneration. But then…yes, of course, you know that. And you've always been there, waiting. I know. Thank you, old girl. It's…nice…to have someone to talk to. Someone who will listen."
He smiled again and reached out with a hand to rest it against the time rotor in the center of the console, a brief caress. The hum surrounding him changed to a purr. His smile widened, and he dropped his hand to rest on the control panel again. He felt better now, about himself and his actions. She always made him feel better. "I think I'll go lie down myself now. It's been a while since I took a nap…"
The Doctor left the console room, and the lights behind him dimmed, as if the TARDIS herself had decided she needed a rest.