Unable To Let Go
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the films Thor or The Avengers and I'm not making any money from this fic
Summary: Loki can't let go of his hatred and rage. After being on Midgard for a while, Thor figures that Loki is addicted to his dark nature and resolves to help him. No matter what it takes
Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the films Thor and Avengers Assembled; some mentions of violence
Author's Note: Inspired by the prompt 'Addiction'
Loki looked up warily as the dungeon door was opened. Apart from being fed regularly, the only times he saw anyone was when Thor came in and tried talking to him. Loki never responded to Thor's attempts to speak to him, but there was still a small part of him that dreaded the time when Thor would stop coming and he'd be left alone, apart from the visits to leave food and water.
But perhaps even those would eventually stop.
The sudden light from the open door made Loki squint. He looked away, down at the floor. For a dungeon, it was surprisingly clean. Apart from being dark, it wasn't a bad place to be. At least he was fed and kept more or less comfortable, if one discounted the fact he was chained up and gagged most of the time.
Apparently, the AllFather wanted to make sure Loki couldn't use his silver tongue. His gag was removed when it was time to eat and whichever guard had apparently drawn the short straw would have to feed him and hold the cup to his lips so that he could drink the water.
Apart from that, Thor removed Loki's gag. But he never gave Thor the satisfaction of talking to him or even making eye contact with him. Loki hated Thor with every fibre of his being. It was his fault he was stuck here, instead of being the ruler of Midgard. If Thor hadn't appeared, Loki would have succeeded in his plans.
There was movement in front of him. Loki knew it was Thor, even before he felt gentle fingers at his mouth, carefully removing the gag. Unlike the guards, Thor was never rough. Loki often thought they were trying to tear his jaw, with how much force they used to yank the gag out without properly removing the ties on it first.
"If you would show remorse for your actions, Loki, this wouldn't be necessary..."
Loki rolled his eyes as he focused on a far point on the wall. It wasn't like having light in the dungeon made any difference. The walls were still dark. He was still bored. His mind still worked, making plans and discarding them just as quickly.
Loki wasn't paying any attention to what Thor was saying. He didn't need to. The tone of Thor's voice made it quite clear he wasn't saying anything different to all the other times he'd come to the dungeon. All Loki had to do was wait. Eventually, Thor would give up and leave him alone.
Until the next time.
This time seemed different, though. Thor abruptly fell silent and then moved round so that he was right in front of Loki. Loki could have looked away and focused on a completely different point, but he decided it was better not to even react to Thor being there.
"Brother... I think I know what your problem is."
Loki flinched as he felt Thor's hands come down on his shoulders. With any other person, that contact would have been gentle - but Thor was so strong, even a light grip was restraining. Trying to cover up the weakness he'd just let come through, Loki broke the silence he'd been clinging to, glaring at Thor. "I don't know why you persist in using that title. We are not brothers, whether by blood or otherwise. And do not pretend to know anything about me. You understand nothing."
"You're angry with me, Loki. I can understand that. I didn't throw you from the Bifrost, but I failed to find you." A look of pain crossed Thor's face, chased quickly away. "I cannot pretend to understand why you would so willingly throw away centuries of being a family just because you found out you were a Jotun. I can understand your desire to destroy them. We were raised to believe they were monsters. But you are what you make of yourself - and before my banishment, I would never have called you evil or a monster."
In spite of himself, Loki tried to pull away from Thor's hold. It wasn't physically painful, but he didn't like what Thor was saying to him. "You don't understand anything!" he hissed. "You'll never know what it's like to be the younger son who no one cares for because they're so obsessed with the firstborn! The Crown Prince!"
"When I haven't been here, I've been on Midgard." Thor spoke as if Loki hadn't said anything. "I've been talking to Steve - he's the leader of the Avengers. To Tony and Bruce as well, though I think Tony can't understand why I'm trying to get through to you."
"Why are you trying?" Loki hid his curiosity under a note of hostility. "Odin has given up on me and so has everyone else. Why are you so stupidly trying to 'save' me?"
"Because I don't believe you're a bad person, although I do believe you're addicted to the thoughts of power - and how you can get it." Thor's face grew sad, a look that was somehow out of place on his face. "You can't understand that you don't need to act like this to get what you want."
"You're the one who doesn't understand anything!" Forgetting the wall behind him, Loki jerked back, wincing as his spine connected quite painfully with the stone. Ignoring the pain, he glared at Thor with hatred. "I never wanted to be King!" he spat. "I only wanted to be your equal!"
"You changed, brother, and not for the better..."
"Stop calling me that." Loki growled.
"You are my brother, no matter how much you try to claim otherwise." There was a determined look on Thor's face. "And we might be different in our natures, but that doesn't mean we aren't equals. I value your advice above all others. Becoming King would never have changed that. You would be at my side for as long as you wished to be."
This was the last thing Loki wanted to hear. He immediately began struggling, desperate to free himself from Thor's grasp. Thor leaned close enough that he could have embraced Loki, but instead, Loki found himself freed from his chains - although his wrists remained bound behind his back.
Loki opened his mouth to demand an explanation, but all that came out was a startled squeak that made his face heat up as Thor lifted him and deposited him over his lap. Loki's shock only held him frozen for a moment or two before he began struggling, flailing his arms and legs around.
Without his magic, Loki couldn't hope to break free of Thor's grip. That didn't stop him from trying to land kicks on the other, though. His foot nearest Thor's stomach connected with something and Loki felt a fierce stab of satisfaction at the grunt of pain that came from Thor. That quickly faded, however, when he felt Thor's hand land so hard across the centre of his backside, he could have sworn it flattened both cheeks. The resounding slap echoed so loudly that Loki froze. The last thing he wanted was to bring any guards running to see what the noise was all about.
Apparently taking advantage of Loki's shock, Loki felt his legs pinned under one of Thor's much bigger ones. All he could do was jerk his feet a little - and he had no hope of landing another kick.
The next slap landed directly on top of the first with just as much force. Even after only two smacks, Loki's bottom smarted and he felt angry tears fill his eyes; tears that he quickly blinked away.
He certainly wasn't going to give Thor the satisfaction of seeing him cry.
It quickly became apparent to Loki that Thor was trying to set his backside on fire. As if Thor's first slap had painted a target, every other scorching swat landed in exactly the same place. Loki had no idea how many times Thor had swatted him in the same place, but he began squirming. If Thor continued like this, it wouldn't take much for the tears to start.
And Loki didn't want to break down.
When Thor began working on a spot underneath the first, Loki felt a pulsing line of fire across the centre of his bottom. He was starting to get a crick in his neck, since he refused to rest his head on the cold stone floor - and his arms were still bound behind his back, so it wasn't like he could use them to rest his head against.
Loki hadn't thought the pain of the spanking could get any worse, but he felt Thor lift his leg slightly, raising Loki's upper body off the ground. Before Loki could wonder at what Thor was intending, he felt powerful slaps directed to the creases between his bottom and thighs - exactly where he would sit down and put most of his weight.
Tears once more filled Loki's eyes, but they were from the pain rather than anger. His chest and head ached as the tears slipped down his cheeks, splashing onto the floor beneath him.
Thor's arm was a heavy weight across Loki's back. Loki knew there was no way he could break free of Thor's hold. Something seemed to expand and then break inside his chest. He couldn't hold his head up any longer and let it drop to the ground as he cried, only twitching slightly with each sharp smack that landed.
It took Loki a while to realise that the spanking had stopped. Even so, he couldn't hold back the tears. He felt like he was crying out centuries of pain and anger. Losing both made him feel weaker, but he slowly realised that Thor was no longer restraining him, instead rubbing his hair and back in gentle motions that made Loki relax his tense muscles almost involuntarily.
After a few moments, Loki felt himself moved. He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again when he felt himself settled against Thor's chest. Slowly, he leaned forward and let his head rest against Thor's shoulder. Now that the anger and pain was gone, he couldn't find the strength to pull away even if he'd wanted to.
And he really didn't.
"You are my brother," Thor said quietly in Loki's ear. "Each time you try to deny it, I shall prove it to you."
"By spanking me?" Loki mumbled, reflecting that that threat should have bothered him a lot more than it did.
"In whatever way necessary."
"I really don't like the sound of that."
"You're not supposed to." Thor paused and then asked, "Are you ready to leave this place now?"
"What, you think I'm cured of this... addiction?"
"No. That spanking was in response to everything you did on Midgard. From what I've learned, this kind of addiction isn't easy to just cure you of. And I imagine it will take a long time to help you past this." Thor held Loki tighter. "That's time I'm willing to give you and give up for you."
Loki sighed and just relaxed into his brother's hold. As painful as the spanking had been, he did feel much better inside. And for the time being, it was nice just to be held by someone who believed in him.
The End