RELATABLE
A/N: My first attempt at a non-YJ fic. I hope it doesn't read too badly because I enjoyed writing it. Personally, I thought this would have been great basis for a Bamon friendship (step one of a potentially epic romance) [after 4x02 when Bonnie had no magic]
Usual disclaimers apply.
He waltzed into her home like he was prom queen. Bonnie Bennett, however, could hardly remember if she ever made the colossal mistake of inviting him in the first place. Then again, people invited Damon Salvatore into their homes the same way they would Red Rover, Red Rover call the Devil over.
I should do something about this before it becomes habit, the young witch thought. Bonnie had only just moved from the couch she lay on to hurriedly wipe away the tears, when she sadly remembered how the days of her making Damon Salvatore do anything were over.
The witch spirits saw to that.
She'd been crying on and off for 48 hours now and she still had tears left in her to fight back at this moment. Bonnie might no longer be the powerful Bennett witch she worked so hard to become, but God forbid she would allow Damon Salvatore of all people to see her this helpless and broken.
The tears were gone and were replaced with a look of distaste the vampire had grown accustomed to receiving from Elena Gilbert's best friend.
"Yo Sabrina grab your cauldron, wisecracking cat and let's go! Elena needs you." His sing-song mocking voice filled the entire living room. Damon wasn't looking at her; instead he was casually inspecting the living-room and smugly wiping any surface he passed by with his finger. Bonnie was irritated at the blatant lack of respect but also grateful since it gave her time to kick away a box of used tissues and make the blanket she wore as shroud for the past two days disappear under coffee table.
"I can't." Bonnie whispered, keeping her tone as even as possible and quickly patting down rebellious strands of her hair. The place was a mess, worse than that, she was a mess.
She simply couldn't be around people right now.
"What do mean you can't." His powder blue eyes flashed wide, homing in on her and instantly making him look the predator she knew he was. "Up you get, I'll even chauffeur you." The second half of the sentence should have sounded like a friendly joke if he hadn't been smiling so sarcastically and grabbing her by her elbow already.
He was making his demands and expecting her to follow along. Damon was about to direct her towards the door when Bonnie stood her ground.
"Get away from me Damon." She hissed, trying to free herself from his grip.
"Make me." He turned into her so suddenly a terrified scream almost escaped her lips.
Almost, Bonnie learnt how to never betray her weakness in front him and settled for a small gasp to show her shock.
In the past, Damon had always known better than to mess with her. Bonnie therefore couldn't help but be surprised to see him standing this close and looking down at her with unblinking eyes. They were no longer playful or patient; instead there was a wild and unpredictable glint in his eyes, calling for her to just give him an excuse to hurt her.
And he would hurt her. Bonnie was sure of it.
There was a tense moment where they both just stood, glaring at each other. Strange enough, after a moment, Damon smiled – his lips stretching so thinly they almost disappeared. There was nothing kind about that smile.
"Make me," This time his tone reverted back to his cocky, nonchalant self; his eyes softened, no longer intensely fixating on hers and he casually dropped her arm. Free to walk away, Bonnie rubbed her sore elbow and tried to return to her seat.
But Damon wasn't done. He immediately positioned himself in between her and the couch.
Bonnie frowned, she was getting irritated.
"What no magical taser to the skull?" Damon was goading her and Bonnie for once did not know to react.
No magical taser to put him in his place, she thought miserably.
"Guess we're going then!" He dragged her along by the hand this time, getting about half-way to the door before Bonnie managed to pry herself free. Damon turned to face her again, the frustration showing clearly on his face.
"Damon..." Bonnie whispered.
"What? What Bonnie, what is so important you won't let me be a gentleman and drive you over to Elena's." He threw his arms in the air angrily, every bit the dramatic brat she knew him to be.
"You can't force me. I am not afraid of you." She spoke in a tone so certain she knew she had no choice but to believe her own words.
"But you should be." His nose almost touched hers as he took a step closer. He breathed the words into her face trying to assess where this sense of bravado was coming from. You are powerless, and you know it. That stare of his simply stated facts Bonnie knew and yet she still refused to back down.
"Yeah maybe I should be. But you won't kill me." She continued.
Damon smirked at her. "Wanna test that theory Trelawney?"
"Go ahead." Bonnie replied. She had nothing to lose.
She meant it and he knew she meant it. Bonnie could tell by the way the corners of his eyes creased slightly as he examined the defiant look on her face. He was trying to make sense of the situation. Something, for some reason he could not explain, bothered him.
What was it that struck a chord with Damon Salvatore? Bonnie wondered. Was the tears stains he spotted on the young witch's face? Or was it that look of vulnerability she attempted to hide even more so than those tears.
"Forget it." He sighed, walking past her towards the couch and taking up her space. He sat with his booted legs stretched out on the coffee table and smirked at her. "So, since I'm already here..." He yawned for a moment making it clear to Bonnie that here was somewhere he did not anticipate on being for long.
"...why so weepy witch?"
Bonnie stood blinking for a moment; the question had caught her off guard.
"I-I-I'm not, I..." Her stutters were interrupted by Damon scoffing loudly.
"Oh don't deny it! I practically can taste those salty tears." He got up and pointed at her face. Bonnie frowned a little and Damon immediately turned away. Clearly unhappy with the way he sounded, Damon made an effort to return to his usual air of disinterest by pretending to take in some more of the Bennett home decor. He was hiding from her, Bonnie realised. Were those tears on her face bothering him that much?
"You don't care." She finally responded. Her voice sounded clear and certain. "Damon Salvatore does not care about Bonnie Bennett." She said repeating what he so often told her. She should not have allowed herself to forget such important facts.
"Oh great, let's kick up a storm about who may or may not care about your pathetic life now." Damon snapped.
"That'll be a conversation over faster than you can say expendable." He said in a voice full of spite.
Bonnie tried to hide how much that hurt by pursing her lips together angrily.
"Should have sent Stefan for this little errand. But no! Here I am! Stuck in Casa del Bruja." He grumbled, again, he spoke in that annoying overtly dramatic way Bonnie hated.
I am just this to them, Bonnie felt herself feel physically sick at the dizzying thought of her friends sending Damon to fetch her. Damon's need to impatiently pace around the room wasn't making her feel any better.
"Look. I am not going." Bonnie yelled. "In fact, I am getting on my broom to fly out of this town. Tonight. And there is nothing you can do about it, Damon." Those words surprised him. She could tell by the way he suddenly stopped strutting around the room. "I, unlike you, have the sense not to stay where I'm not wanted." She added with a satisfied sneer of her own.
He scowled at the remark and she could feel it. The bitter pill of reality he had to swallow. It was good to know she could still make someone feel something for her, even if it was intense dislike. After what happened with her grandmother and all the sacrifices she made, she came to realise something about the nature of her relationship with Elena Gilbert – it was one sided.
In her time of need, there was no one here for her. Except Damon Salvatore, just in time to push the knife in a little further, Bonnie thought cynically. She had made no plans to leave town, but she had to say something. Despite those words being said in the heat of the moment, the longer she stood in this room, feeling a world of pain and loss, the happier Bonnie was that she said them.
"You know what I think witch? I think that you think flying out of town on your little broom will make Elena and Vampirella Forbes shower you with friendship bracelets and teenaged tears." Damon whispered poking an accusing finger into her chest. Bonnie breathed slowly, trying not to let the words get to her but it was too late – Damon Salvatore hit a nerve.
Pleased with the results, Damon brushed past her. He sat back down with a smile planted on his face and his feet once more on the table. "Funny, I never had you pinned as a drama queen. I thought you just said what was on your mind."
Bonnie angrily turned to face him. "Like anyone would listen!" She shouted before marching up to the smug vampire and kicking his legs off of her coffee table. Damon jumped up at the sudden action.
"Yeah well, when has that ever stopped you from taking the pulpit?" He replied the retort stopped her in her stride.
He had a point, Bonnie didn't want to hear it, but she did and she could not ignore it.
"Stop sulking." Damon simply said. Once Bonnie managed to calm herself she turned to face him again. "Besides," He added. "Blue doesn't suit Bennett witches. And I've known my share of them."
"Please don't be implying that you...and my ancestors." Bonnie shuddered in disgust at the thought.
Damon shrugged, but did nothing to hide the wicked grin on his face.
"I still can't help you." Bonnie confessed. "I'm not a Bennett witch anymore."
"Like hell you aren't. Elena needs you. You'll find a way to help her." Bonnie was surprised to hear conviction in his voice. What was this? Damon Salvatore believing in her?
"You help people, it's what you do." His eyes were like still water and he sounded strangely sincere. "And then you hold it over the rest of us, like the good, judgy little witch you are."
Bonnie was about to roll her eyes at the comment when she noticed something in Damon's eyes she'd never seen before – admiration.
"Look I have done everything I can for Elena. Everything. I have lost my family, I have drained my powers, I have doomed my grandmother and there is nothing else I can do." She cried. Bonnie was no longer able to keep her voice even as it broke under the emotional weight she had been carrying for days.
Damon stood quietly with a small frown on his face.
Bonnie did not want to cry, but she knew there were fresh tears pooling in her tired eyes. "I would easily do all of it again. I love her, she's like a sister. But I can't." She sank to the ground feeling hopeless and defeated. "Damon, I can't."
Damon Salvatore was lost for words. He had never seen the proud witch look this small. Despite her petite stature, Bonnie now knew what Damon truly thought; that she had the magical ability to fearlessly tower over her opponents like they were insects.
But the truth was ready to come out, her lips ready to betray her.
"I feel like I am nothing without my magic. It was what made me feel connected." The confession was painful, but it escaped her as easily as those tears in her eyes did. She was angry at herself for feeling this way, exposed, but there was nowhere left to hide.
"And now I am drifting." She whispered wiping her fingers furiously to dry her face. "And you don't really care." The last words managed to get a reaction out of Damon that Bonnie never expected to see.
It was a flicker of something she thought was alien to the vampire – regret and concern.
"I'm – I am" Damon paused for a moment but his lips were twitching to continue speaking. "I am sorry Bonnie Bennett. Sorry that I have forgotten how to be sorry a long time ago." Damon hadn't intended to yell the words, but he somehow did.
"I screw up! But you know that don't you." He sounded resentful as if he wished she wasn't forcing him to say these words. "You know that better than anyone else. I mean nothing sure stops you from constantly reminding me."
Bonnie was shocked to hear this from the vampire.
"Why are you saying this?" Threats she could handle, but this was something that made her feel uncomfortable. Empathy in her sense of self loathing. "You hate me."
Damon was avoiding looking at her.
"Ever thought that maybe you rub me up the wrong way because of your irritating ability to say things I don't want to hear?" Damon asked, he was pacing around the room as he spoke. "Like I said Bonnie, you're not one to shy away from the pulpit."
Bonnie picked herself up from off the ground before responding.
"And you're never one to listen." She saw a small smile on his face. Bonnie tried to smile back but she couldn't.
"Ever thought, maybe you do the same thing to me?" The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.
Damon looked confused at the statement.
"Say the things I'm afraid are true. The things I don't want to hear." Bonnie whispered. Things she was afraid the others thought about her. Lately, Bonnie was beginning to feel insecure about her position amongst her friends. Maybe they only kept her around because of one reason, a cruel voice in her mind pointed out.
And that reason is gone.
Damon felt comfortable enough to approach her now that she was no longer crumbled on the floor. He stood in front of her, his eyes briefly landing on her lips before looking her straight in the eyes. They had never been this close without snarling at each other like wild animals. It was making Bonnie uncomfortable.
He had a frown on his face and it was asking for her to elaborate.
"I'm no use to anyone without my magic." Bonnie repeated. "You said it a million times.
"Oh come on, you have some redeeming qualities." Damon snapped at her as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. In his customary sarcastic drawl, he added; "You're not entirely worthless."
"I never said I was worthle-" Bonnie had already began lifting her defences again and she was in the middle of giving Damon a piece of her mind when she suddenly paused.
"And how exactly do you, Damon Salvatore think I'm not entirely worthless?" She asked curiously whilst looking away. At first, she was instinctively mad at Damon for saying out loud the exact words keeping her awake these past few days. However, for the first time, she heard something beyond the sound of Damon pressing the right buttons to exploit her insecurities.
And Bonnie desperately wanted to know what it meant.
Damon avoided her eyes. "Well, you're not a bad dancer." He said in a light-hearted teasing tone, a tone he usually reserved for Elena.
Bonnie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was Damon, in his own twisted way, trying to comfort her?
"You're pretty decent yourself." Bonnie replied thinking back to that moment she reluctantly shared with him at the 70's Decade Dance.
She didn't know what else she could say and there was an increasingly awkward silence between them.
"I'm about to say something I might regret, without even being drunk as a skunk –" Damon began in a somewhat more serious tone. "But there is a slight chance I'm jealous of your self-righteous act because deep down I know it isn't an act at all. It is the real deal."
Bonnie turned to face him, and they were finally able to look at each other again. However, she was still speechless, and not because of the intense blue of his eyes but the sincerity she could hear in his voice.
There was no longer any doubt about it; Damon Salvatore was definitely trying to comfort her.
"You're a selfless person. That's who you are Bonnie. You always come through." Damon admitted "And that's not a necessarily a bad kind of person to be." Bonnie felt herself being moved by his words. She didn't think Damon Salvatore could ever do something as strange as this – that he could somehow take the time to be consoling her of all people.
Damon licked his lips before speaking again.
"It's the kind of someone you need. And that's more important than want."
After a moment of silence, Bonnie finally spoke.
"So what do you need me to do?"
Damon frowned for a second as if he had completely forgotten the reason for his visit. He then briefly shook his head and placed his hands on Bonnie's shoulders. She flinched briefly at the gesture. "Nothing, you stay here." He said patting her shoulders without really looking.
"What about Elena?" Bonnie asked. Damon's change of heart was confusing her. "She needs me, you said so."
"She'll have to make do without you today." Damon announced.
After being unsure for a moment, Bonnie nodded. "You'll be there for her, right?"
"Maybe I won't, maybe I'll go get a drink and take a day off too." A flippant comment regarding Elena Gilbert, Bonnie thought she'd never hear such words from the single issue, borderline obsessive Damon. But before she could ask, Damon had begun to walk off and let himself out.
She didn't mean to, but Bonnie somehow ended up following him to the door.
"She'll have to learn how to cope without us someday." Damon added, he didn't sound as laid-back as he did earlier. There was something more to this, Bonnie was sure of it but she didn't know how to bring it up. Then again, some part of her didn't feel like she needed to ask because she understood what he was feeling – tired of it all.
He waved back at her without turning
"Damon..." Bonnie suddenly called out his name, causing him to turn back at bottom of the porch. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he was in no mood to be questioned or lectured.
Luckily, Bonnie wasn't in the mood to do either.
"I could use a drink."
Damon was surprised to hear those words coming from the witch, but his eyebrows didn't stay raised for long. Instead he made his way back towards the house.
Once standing in front of her he smiled.
"Well, you're in luck because I have a vacancy for a new drinking buddy." Damon began to regret the words as soon as he said them.
Bonnie didn't pursue the difficult subject that was Alaric Saltzman's death. Instead she smiled and nodded. It was the kind of smile even someone as shut off from others as Damon Salvatore had to respond to. It was filled with comfort, understanding and promise of better days.
Damon could do little else but smile back.
It became clear to her what Damon was trying to tell her all along. Why Elena's first instinct with any problem was to turn to her. Instead of wallowing in self-pity or dealing with her own pain, Bonnie Bennett was reminded she still had one magical ability left; turn pain into power.
She knew how to switch off her needs for the sake of someone else.
Even for someone who admittedly knew they had done little to deserve such compassion.
"Let's see if I can get you drunk enough to dance on tables." Damon suggested, offering Bonnie his hand and waiting for her to take it. He added with a tempting smile. "You're about to find out that I excel at waltzing whilst wasted."
This was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. They weren't friends. Hardly even friendly.
But for some reason he made Bonnie want to smile. In fact, it was the first time in what felt like an eternity of feeling alone she genuinely felt like laughing. Hard.
And so together with Damon Salvatore, Bonnie Bennett decidedly did.
