Chapter 1: House of the Brain-dead
Tiffany Blum-Deckler had never cared much for dates. Apart from sustaining her social status they weren't of any interest to her. Among the few things she knew was that boys were only good for one thing and she had a way of getting this particular thing that didn't involve boring car rides and conversations about sports.
The moon was full the night Tiffany arrived at Kevin Thompson's house. Her superhuman strength and stamina allowed her to quickly climb to the window of Kevin's second-story room. The window was locked, but that had never stopped her before. She squinted and concentrated very hard on the lock. After some seconds the lock clicked- just when her brain was on the verge of exploding.
She opened the window and stepped into Kevin's room. She could just make out his sleeping form. She climbed on his bed and straddled his sleeping body. He stirred under her weight, let out a loud snore, but didn't wake up.
Tiffany knew what boys liked and she was quick to lower his pajama bottoms. "Oh, babe... Brittany...", he moaned at her touch.
Tiffany stopped abruptly. She placed a finger on her lower lip and voiced her thoughts. "Buuut I'm nooooot Briiiitany..."
Kevin snapped awake at the sound of her voice and realized that he had a stranger in his bed. "Who are you?", he squeaked and, pulling his pants up, he reached for the light switch.
Light filled the room and, upon looking at Tiffany, Kevin decided not to give too much thought to how such a "babe" had gotten into his room.
He spent several seconds just staring at her. Tiffany, startled by the sudden light, had dismounted Kevin and gotten off the bed. She had her back to the window and the full moon shone behind the gorgeous Asian girl, making Kevin wonder whether he was still dreaming. He cleared his throat uneasily.
"Look, whatever happens between us tonight must, like, be a secret, okay? I just had a fight with Brittany, like, the other day and-"
"Shiiiinyyyy...", Tiffany interrupted him, entranced by his trophy shelf.
"Pretty sweet collection, huh?", Kevin bragged.
She paid no attention to him. Instead, she took a particularly large trophy and posed for him. "Does this trophy make me look faaat?"
He replied in the negative. He did the same for the following question and the one after and the one after that, as Tiffany kept picking up trophies and asking him the same question...
After a while, Kevin realized that he couldn't recapture her attention. He wouldn't get any tonight. He sighed.
He left her checking her reflection on a small participation trophy and headed downstairs to get some Ultra Cola.