Across the Sea (where the idiots run wild)
Okay, I don't own LOTR, I wish I did, this applies to all chapters.
Chapter One: Arrivals
Legolas sighed. He felt uneasy. He listened to the other elves whispering among themselves.
"What's the place we're going to?"
"Nobody knows!"
"Hey, at least there won't be any Saurons there. I don't really care what's there as long as there's no shadows."
Some talked worriedly, some curled into the very un-elflike fetal position and whimpered nonsense, while some just gazed out to the undulating surface of the water. Legolas was one of the latter. It didn't matter that he could see nothing through the mist. He stared out anyway. Suddenly the ship clunked, then stopped. All the elves were silent, then a murmuring of 'land' was taken up and spread across the ship. The seamaster docked the barge against the rocky shore that they had knocked against. The elves filed gracefully (a/n: As always. Hey, are elves ever not graceful? I don't think any of them ever tripped and fell over their own feet when they were little.) off the boat onto land. They waited quietly while the Valarpriests cleared the mists. Before them a stone statue stood thousands upon thousands of handspans tall. It depicted a maiden holding proudly a torch and tablet. The elves stared up at it in awe.
~*~
Len looked at the new group of tourists. Mindlessly taking pictures in their Hawaiian shirts, they absorbed nothing. She pasted on a fake grin.
"Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. We stand now at her feet. She's over 1,500 feet tall. Imagine how big her house would have been!"
She heard crickets.
"Alrighty then, moving on!"
One hour and 32 minutes later.
Len walked stiffly into the employees' lounge. It contained a sofa, found in a trash bin near the statue, and a small radio, every station but 50's music gone fuzzy. One of the girls in the room grinned up at her disgusted (yet still smiling) face.
"Hard bunch?"
"You have no idea, Mel. Hold on a moment. I have to unscrew my smile." She said this through clenched teeth in her grinning mouth. She stretched her jaw and winced.
"We definitely deserve that raise. I know we're only fifteen, and only just at the able-to-legally-have-a-job age, therefore only legally needing to be paid minimum wage, but still!" Len glanced at the clock. "Oh, thank goodness. That ends my shift. Your turn!" She tossed the hat, shaped to look like the crown the statue wore (employee uniform), to Mel. She dashed out, only remembering barely to grab her check for April's wages. She continued running across the grass, completely disregarding the 'stay off the grass' sign. Suddenly she was knocked to the ground. She rubbed her head and looked up to see a cloaked figure before her.
"Hey, would you please watch where you're going next time?" She winced as her hand hit a sore spot on the back of her scalp. The figure held out a hand, and she gratefully took it, hauling herself to her feet. She brushed off her jeans.
"I'm sorry, milady, I should have been more careful."
Len squinted at the face hidden in the cloak. The voice sounded strangely familiar. She shrugged it off as de já vu, muttered a quick "s'ok", and started to walk away.
"Wait!"
She turned slowly. Who was this guy, anyway? She shouldn't be talking to him. he was probably a homicidal maniac or something.
"Could you tell me where I am?"
All her other thoughts were lost as she gaped at him. She pointed to the Statue of Liberty.
"Hello, ring any bells?" The stranger was silent. "The Statue of Liberty?" Nothing. "Rhode Island? New York? USA?! EARTH?!!!!" The stranger shrugged his cloaked shoulders.
"How can you not know that you're in the United States of America, the most prosperous country in the world?!"
The figure shifted his weight uncomfortably.
"Well, I'm not from here." He began slowly.
"No shit, Sherlock. Okay, who are you anyway? This had better not be candid Camera or the Jamie Kennedy Experiment." she looked around nervously for a camera.
"I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, of the elf kin."
Len stared at him. "Right. And I'm Cher."
"A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Lady Cher." He bowed.
"IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!"
"Oh. then what's your real name?"
"Len Talehedran Rhan. Len."
He bowed again, then pulled off the cloak and folded it across his arm. "It's so hot here in. New York?" She gaped at the blonde elf.
"You. you're really. Legolas?" she said in a faint voice, then sat down hard. He blinked down at her.
"You've heard of me?"
"Well, of course! You're only the most sought-after character in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy! Well, anyway, I'll cut the fangirl junk. Nice to meet you, Orlando."
"My name's Legolas. Who is this. Orlando?" That set her off staring again.
"You. you mean you're not Orlando Bloom? You're the real Legolas? From MIDDLE EARTH?!" He nodded again. She collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.
Okay, I don't own LOTR, I wish I did, this applies to all chapters.
Chapter One: Arrivals
Legolas sighed. He felt uneasy. He listened to the other elves whispering among themselves.
"What's the place we're going to?"
"Nobody knows!"
"Hey, at least there won't be any Saurons there. I don't really care what's there as long as there's no shadows."
Some talked worriedly, some curled into the very un-elflike fetal position and whimpered nonsense, while some just gazed out to the undulating surface of the water. Legolas was one of the latter. It didn't matter that he could see nothing through the mist. He stared out anyway. Suddenly the ship clunked, then stopped. All the elves were silent, then a murmuring of 'land' was taken up and spread across the ship. The seamaster docked the barge against the rocky shore that they had knocked against. The elves filed gracefully (a/n: As always. Hey, are elves ever not graceful? I don't think any of them ever tripped and fell over their own feet when they were little.) off the boat onto land. They waited quietly while the Valarpriests cleared the mists. Before them a stone statue stood thousands upon thousands of handspans tall. It depicted a maiden holding proudly a torch and tablet. The elves stared up at it in awe.
~*~
Len looked at the new group of tourists. Mindlessly taking pictures in their Hawaiian shirts, they absorbed nothing. She pasted on a fake grin.
"Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. We stand now at her feet. She's over 1,500 feet tall. Imagine how big her house would have been!"
She heard crickets.
"Alrighty then, moving on!"
One hour and 32 minutes later.
Len walked stiffly into the employees' lounge. It contained a sofa, found in a trash bin near the statue, and a small radio, every station but 50's music gone fuzzy. One of the girls in the room grinned up at her disgusted (yet still smiling) face.
"Hard bunch?"
"You have no idea, Mel. Hold on a moment. I have to unscrew my smile." She said this through clenched teeth in her grinning mouth. She stretched her jaw and winced.
"We definitely deserve that raise. I know we're only fifteen, and only just at the able-to-legally-have-a-job age, therefore only legally needing to be paid minimum wage, but still!" Len glanced at the clock. "Oh, thank goodness. That ends my shift. Your turn!" She tossed the hat, shaped to look like the crown the statue wore (employee uniform), to Mel. She dashed out, only remembering barely to grab her check for April's wages. She continued running across the grass, completely disregarding the 'stay off the grass' sign. Suddenly she was knocked to the ground. She rubbed her head and looked up to see a cloaked figure before her.
"Hey, would you please watch where you're going next time?" She winced as her hand hit a sore spot on the back of her scalp. The figure held out a hand, and she gratefully took it, hauling herself to her feet. She brushed off her jeans.
"I'm sorry, milady, I should have been more careful."
Len squinted at the face hidden in the cloak. The voice sounded strangely familiar. She shrugged it off as de já vu, muttered a quick "s'ok", and started to walk away.
"Wait!"
She turned slowly. Who was this guy, anyway? She shouldn't be talking to him. he was probably a homicidal maniac or something.
"Could you tell me where I am?"
All her other thoughts were lost as she gaped at him. She pointed to the Statue of Liberty.
"Hello, ring any bells?" The stranger was silent. "The Statue of Liberty?" Nothing. "Rhode Island? New York? USA?! EARTH?!!!!" The stranger shrugged his cloaked shoulders.
"How can you not know that you're in the United States of America, the most prosperous country in the world?!"
The figure shifted his weight uncomfortably.
"Well, I'm not from here." He began slowly.
"No shit, Sherlock. Okay, who are you anyway? This had better not be candid Camera or the Jamie Kennedy Experiment." she looked around nervously for a camera.
"I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, of the elf kin."
Len stared at him. "Right. And I'm Cher."
"A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Lady Cher." He bowed.
"IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!"
"Oh. then what's your real name?"
"Len Talehedran Rhan. Len."
He bowed again, then pulled off the cloak and folded it across his arm. "It's so hot here in. New York?" She gaped at the blonde elf.
"You. you're really. Legolas?" she said in a faint voice, then sat down hard. He blinked down at her.
"You've heard of me?"
"Well, of course! You're only the most sought-after character in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy! Well, anyway, I'll cut the fangirl junk. Nice to meet you, Orlando."
"My name's Legolas. Who is this. Orlando?" That set her off staring again.
"You. you mean you're not Orlando Bloom? You're the real Legolas? From MIDDLE EARTH?!" He nodded again. She collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.