Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
.Don't Ever Forget.
She knew it wouldn't ever be the same. She knew he was gone for good. And she knew she couldn't live another day without him.
How many weeks had it been already? Must have been a good month and a half by now, and the mind numbing pain just wasn't easing up. It was just as hard as the second it happened, nothing had changed. You could so easily say that he was her best friend, some considered them more than that, but they didn't care. Maybe they were. He was her daily getaway, her sanctuary, her friend.
They had spent countless hours together, watching movies, going to the park, endlessly laughing about absolutely nothing.
But now he was gone.
She could no longer go to him when things got rough at home, or just when she needed someone to talk to. She had to do what she had been afraid of for as long as she could remember.
She had to go on without him, she had to move on.
But how can you simply forget that orange head of hair, that unique personality, that heart warming smile, that reassuring voice, those beautiful amber eyes? She honestly couldn't do it.
She remembered every second of what happened that day, and all she wanted was for it to go away. It was just that that kept her from sleeping at night. She could have warned him, if only she had seen it coming. If only he hadn't been in that part of the street at that exact moment, that exact point in time. She regretted outliving him. She really hated herself for it.
He had been showing off to her. He was proving a point. Oh, God, how she wished he could have just left it all alone. He didn't need to prove anything to her, yet he insisted on doing so with perfection.
She would never forget that sound of screeching tires, the sound she heard when that arrogant big shot had hit him without a single hint of even caring. Whoever he was, he didn't only kill Ichigo.
Right then she felt so dead inside. Nothing could console her screaming, her tears. But he didn't answer. No matter how many times she called his name, he never said a word.
Not only did he leave her behind, he left without a goodbye. He had died the second the front bumper collided with his body. And in that instant, her whole world shattered before her eyes. She didn't know one moment could hurt so much. But now she knew, oh, she knew.
She felt as if she was playing some sort of sick game, 'how many tears can you cry before breaking down'?
She'd win, easy.
So many had told her they were sorry, that they knew how she felt. They didn't know. They didn't know anything. They didn't understand how hard it was to walk to school every day without him, how hard it was without him period.
She was alone without him, she felt out of place. She couldn't even recall how long she had been spending her days with him, but she knew exactly how she had been spending her days without him. Funny how things turn out. She knew the weeks, the days, the hours.
It was killing her. It really was.
And she was aware of that. She had stopped eating altogether, she had started skipping school, she spent most of her time there. Where they had taken him from her.
She had a whole set-up on that corner, there were flowers, framed pictures, a typed paragraph about how much she missed him.
She would do anything to have him back, anything at all to see his smile just one more time. Guess you really don't know what you got 'til it's gone.
She had taken his departure even harder than Yuzu and Karin, but her pain equalled with Isshin's. His only son was gone, and there was no way he was coming back.
Just how bad could you miss someone before it killed you?
She didn't know.
But there was one thing she knew better than anyone else. It was something that kept her plenty miserable, but she was absolutely certain about it.
She wouldn't, couldn't, forget him. Even if it was what killed her in the end, she never did forget the boy who made her life so worth living.
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...Angsty...
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