Marilyn Monroe by Nicki Minaj

Jade walked through the pouring rain, her hair dark and lank and dripping into her eyes. She pulled her black leather jacket a little tighter around her and shivered as a tear cascaded down her porcelain cheek and mingled with the rain water.

She was in a melancholy place, the rain fit her disposition. As she walked along the lonely road, whittling away her lunch hour at Hollywood Arts, she was thinking…

Beck. Was it her fault they broke up? She wasn't the girl she portrayed, she wasn't the bitter goth girl who didn't give a damn. At least not all the time. She did have feelings…ha have feelings. She did care what people thought. She did cry every now and then.

I can be selfish, yes so impatient. Sometimes I feel like Marilyn Monroe. I'm insecure, yeah, I make mistakes. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my road.

Jade kept walking, and as she did she slipped a hand into her jacket pocket for warmth. She felt her chipped nail collide with something, and pulled the object from her pocket. Her misty eyes widened at the sight of the bottle pressing into her palm. She hadn't needed her anti-depressants in a long time, and forgotten that they were in here.

I can get low, I can get low don't know which way is up. I can get high I can get high like I could never come down.

What was it the doctors had said? Bipolar disorder. Anger management problems. Climactically temperamental.

Jade's cold white fingers fumbled with the lock on the top of the bottle, and it fell into her shaking palm along with two round white pills. She'd always ignored the one pill per six hours limit.

She brought them to her lips and swallowed them dry. Jadee kept walking, past school. She couldn't go back in there, not with all of the people she'd have to deal with. Not with Beck. Not with Tori. Especially not Tori…

As the image of the perfect, beautiful girl clawed its way to the front of Jade's mine she reached for the bottle again. The girl who was impossible to hate, no matter how much Jade tried. Tori Vega, star of Hollywood Arts. Beck's new crush. Jade's fingers fumbled against another pill, and she slipped it into her mouth and swallowed it too.

Call it a curse, or just call me blessed.

And Beck, she thought. She quickened her pace as she felt the fast-acting pills start to work. She was feeling a bit dizzy as she started to run, faster and faster into the trees skirting the edges of Hollywood Arts. She ran into their cover, her combat boots clomping down to leave imprints in the soft dirt. Beck. The only person in the entire galaxy who'd ever seen her at her worst.

It was the day he kissed Tori for the first time, back in the early years of Hollywood Arts. The same day her father left for good. The same day her grandfather had a stroke and died. Too much pain that day, too many feelings for her to cope with that day. She was staying after school for a play (that she wasn't good enough to star in) and she got the call about her grandfather. She locked herself in the janitor's closet and felt herself start to cry. She took a pill from the same bottle she was crushing between her fingers now and swallowed it with her tears as the door swung open.

Just thinking about it made her swallow three more pills.

Beck stood there with shock etched into his face, his pretty brown eyes wide. Jade looked up at him from the floor breathing shallowly, holding the pills, and crying.

"Beck," she croaked. And then he did the thing that still hurt her heart, even now years later. He didn't collect her in his arms. He didn't tell her to calm down, that everything would be alright. He didn't wipe away the tears, or apologize for kissing Tori. Instead, he silently closed the door and walked away.

If you can't handle my worst, you aint getting my best. Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt? Must be how Marilyn Monroe felt.

He didn't deserve me, she thought taking another four or five pills along with a deep breath. But here she was, in the woods with rain on her skin and tears in her hair, taking pill after pill in a desperate attempt to stop the pain. Beck was inside Hollywood Arts, warm and dry, laughing with his friends. Who had really won out?

It's like all the good things, they fall apart like Marilyn Monroe.

Jade fell to the ground, her beautiful face twisted in agony. She held her stomach as she started to vomit, her body rejecting the pills. They reappeared in a puddle of sick and Jade rolled away from them on the cold, damp ground. She was shaking, white, and disgusted with herself.

She was Jade West. Jade Freaking West. She wasn't the kind of girl who ran away from her problems and then cried about them. What kind of pitiful, stupid, weak wimp was she becoming?

Truth is we mess up, 'til we get it right. I don't want to end up losing my soul.

Jade lay with her cheek pressed into the soft, wet earth. She closed her eyes and brushed her tears away as she took another deep breath.

I can get low, I can get low. Don't know which way is up. I can get high, I can get high like I could never come down.

Jade's baby doll blue eyes snapped open and she unscrewed the bottle cap for the last time. She tipped the container over and emptied the contents into the earth. Then, feeling sluggish, she struggled to her feet and brought her boot down on top of the pile and turned the pills to fine white dust. She dropped the bottle too, and kicked muddy earth on top of it to hide the evidence. She walked unsteadily out of the woods and back down the road.

Call it a curse or just call me blessed. If you can't handle my worst, you aint getting my best. Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt? Must be how Marilyn Monroe felt.

She put one foot in front of the other until she was back in the Hollywood Arts parking lot. She walked right into the school, and heads turned. People stared, but it wasn't the way they stared at Tori.

She knew she must look a mess with mud on her face and her clothes soaked through to the bone. She reached up to wipe away some of the eye makeup streaming down her wet cheeks as she found her way to her locker.

She pretended to dig books out of her locker while really just watching the people watch her. She turned around.

"What?" she barked to the students at large. "Can I do something for you?"

Her eyes found a familiar pair of brown ones and she stared Beck down. She saw a spark in him, and she knew he too was remembering that day he had seen her broken. Was it regret that was etched in his eyes?

Take me or leave me, I'll never be perfect believe me I'm worth it. So take me or leave me.

Beck pulled his eyes away and Jade smirked at the floor even though she felt like crawling back into those damn woods and lying there into the day she died. She turned around back to her locker. He'd never know. Nobody would.

She'd never let the ghost of pain fleet into her eyes, she'd never shed another tear in front of anybody.

Call it a curse, or just call me blessed. If you can't handle my worst, you aint getting my best. Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt?

She was Jade West.

Note: Did you like it? I love this song and it's so different from the regular Nicki Minaj stuff! Thanks for reading, and I hope you feel compelled to leave a review! 143!