A/N: This happens after PD2. How long after? I don't know, 1…2 months. Betcha never read one of these C/J fics before. Well…I haven't so enjoy.

I know nothing about people being blind, okay, so just go along with it.

"Clarisse, my darling will you please calm down? It's not the end of the world."

Yes, Joseph, it is the end of the world.

"Calm down? How can I calm down? Do you have any idea how I'm feeling?"

"No, but I can imagine."

"No you can't, Joseph, no-one can."

I heard him turn off the light and then whisper, "Now I can't see you either."

"Oh," I said as he held me close, "How am I supposed to live like this?"

"I'll help you. Mia will help you. Charlotte will help you. It's going to be hard to adjust to, but we'll get through it."

"I just can't believe this happened to me."

"And so suddenly."

"You know what the worst part is?"

"Mmm?"

"I'll never get to see you again."

"I know."

"And even worse, I won't be able to put make-up on properly anymore. I'll have to get it tattooed onto my face."

"Ha, if worse comes to worse, I'll do it for you."

I shivered at that thought. Joseph is good at a lot of things, but he is no beautician. Still, it was sweet of him to offer.

"I think I need to have a lie down."

"Alright. I'll be right here if you need me."

I honestly can't believe this happened to me. In my worst dreams, I never would have imagined that this could happen to me. I've always taken good care of my eyes. Why couldn't it have been my hearing that died? I'd rather be able to see than hear. This couldn't have come at a worse time either. Mia's getting married next week and we picked out this beautiful wedding gown and I'm never going to be able to see her wear it down the aisle. Such a beautiful dress and such a beautiful girl. I can only hope for a miracle.

The doctor said I have in-curable blindness and that I'll never be able to see again. It started about a week ago; I couldn't see things properly and I crashed into things a lot. And today, I woke up and found I was totally blind. I woke up and thought it was still night, but then I got up and turned the light on. It didn't work though, so I felt my way to the door then went into the lounge and turned the television on. I heard sound, but there was no picture. Joseph came into the room and I asked him if there was something wrong with the TV. He thought I was crazy and then we realised what was going on. We both panicked and I heard him run around in circles before finally reaching the phone to call for help.

So here I am now, lying on my bed, talking into a tape-recorder and probably sounding like some stupid little talk show host. I can't write my diary anymore, so this just has to do.

Joseph is being really helpful and caring and loving and supportive, but if he keeps insisting on being there when I'm having a bath or going for a walk outside, I will have to take a swing at him.

I'm in what they call stage one of coping with blindness. In other words, I'm in shock and feeling sorry for myself. This is supposed to go on for two days and then I'm supposed to be depressed (oh no, not again), then in denial (there's hope, there's still hope), then angry (god help me), then pretending I'm okay with it (as if that's going to happen), then I'm supposed to realise that it's not the end of the world (it's not?) then finally, I will learn to deal with it (if I manage to get through the rest).

That's seven stages. I'm going to have a long month ahead of me.