I do not own Maximum Ride or this Queen song. Really, I'm sorry, folks, but I don't. If I did, I'd proclaim it out to the world, but for real, I do not.
Alrighty then, another songfic. I love Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody is the best song ever. Absolute genius, so of course I had to make a Maximum Ride songfic. This won't be as amusing as Life's Gonna Suck, unfortunately.
Iggy came staggering into the room with Fang hot on his heels.
"Iggy, you jerk," he shrieked. "You-"
Thankfully for Iggy, Max came in at the right time. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the heck's going on here?"
"Well, Iggy-"
"Fang, let Ig speak."
"Well... I... um, this will be somewhat better if I put this a bit differently."
The lights darkened, and Iggy was suddenly sitting on a wooden stool.
"Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me..."
Iggy got off his stool and closed his eyes, clutching his chest. Finally, he dropped to his knees.
"Mama, just killed a man..."
Max gasped. "No freaking way! Iggy-"
"Shut up, it's part of the song," Iggy chided.
"Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away!"
Loud guitars started in. I've heard this before, Max thought.
"Mama, ooooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters..."
Iggy smiled ruefully, and clutched his head in his hands.
"Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go
Gotta leave you all and face the truth!
Mama, ooooh-"
"Any way the wind blows." Fang sang.
"I don't want to die!
"I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all!"
There was a short guitar solo that came from nowhere in particular. Max and Fang looked around for where the music was coming from.
"I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the fandango?
Thunderbolts and lightning- very very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo Figaro- magnifico!"
Iggy plopped down on the floor, looking ready to angst. Or be admitted to the crazy house, you choose.
"But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me," sang Iggy.
"He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from his monstrosity," sang Max. Fang marveled at how quickly she had picked up on this.
"Easy come, easy go," sang the blind teen. "Will you let me go?"
"Bismillah! No- we will not let you go!" sang Fang.
"Let him go!" trilled Max.
"Bismillah! No- we will not let you go!"
"Let him go!"
"Bismillah! No- we will not let you go!"
"Let him go!"
"Bismillah! No- we will not let you go!"
"Let me go!" Iggy pleaded.
"Never let you go!"
"Let me go!" warbled Iggy. From the next room, the Gasman, Angel, and Nudge applauded. The young'uns thought they should be on American Idol.
"Never let me go! Ooooh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no- Oh, mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for MEEEEE!"
Finally, the strawberry-blond got up to his full imposing height. Fang stood in front of him, glowering.
"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh baby- can't do this to me, baby."
Iggy started leaving the room.
"Just gotta get out- just gotta get right out of here!"
Fang cradled his head in his hands.
"Ooooh yeah, ooooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters- nothing really matters to me."
The music from nowhere slowed. Iggy left the room, looking very emo.
"What the hell just happened?" asked Max.
"He turned all my favorite articles of clothing pink. I was gonna kick his ass, but the musical number was pretty good," said Fang. "Let's do something from Sweeney Todd next, 'kay?"
As her right-hand-man left whistling 'A Little Priest', Max stood in the kitchen of the borrowed house, befuddled. Why did they just have a musical number? And she knew where she had heard that song before, she just didn't know where...
As I said, Queen is awesome. You have to listen to Bohemian Rhapsody. Anyway, please review!
beanpaste-chan out!