Author: Liz
E-mail: CAGirl0042@aol.com
Summary: Future fic. The aliens never came to Roswell, and Liz was never shot. Her life is very different, and she's trying to deal.
Category: Max/Liz
Rating: PG-13 for now.
Chapter 1 The door swung open, and she stepped outside, one foot in front of the other, concentrating on the motions.
Leaning against the gritty brick of the building, she pulled out the pack of cigarettes from her pocket, shaking one out easily and placing it between her lips.
Her mouth twitched slightly as she crumpled up the empty pack, another unconscious warning from the part of her that had died a long time ago. But she didn't reach for a light, yet…just stood, taking in the night. There was an eerie stillness that seemed to hover over the street, the town…a quiet, like the calm before a storm. It shook her a bit, but she only ignored the feeling that was growing inside of her. The door opened again beside her, and Maria walked out, silver alien apron shining in the streetlight's glow.
"Liz."
Her voice was low and menacing.
Reaching out, she grabbed the stick from Liz's mouth and dropped it to the ground, crushing it under her shoe.
"I thought you quit."
She only shrugged.
"Guess not."
There were so many more things that she wanted to say to Maria…her best friend, at one time maybe….apologies-caring words. But they just wouldn't come. They formed in her mind, but never reached her lips. There would be other days for that.
She looked down at the ground, at the small pile of tobacco and torn paper.
"That was my last one."
"Oh well…I guess I'm sorry then."
Her voice was sarcastic, an angry edge evident. Liz knew it was easy to ignore that tone. She did it with everyone she knew.
Just like she ignored Maria's heavy sigh, not moving her eyes from the faded stone of the walkway.
"I just…"
Liz sighed herself, mockingly, exaggerated.
"I gotta go Maria. I'll…see you later."
Without another backwards glance she took off across the street, walking away from her home and her friend.
She just couldn't take it anymore. Stepping onto the walk on the opposite side of the street, she heard her cry.
"Liz! Please.."
She didn't want to turn, but somehow her feet moved at their own accord.
"What?"
Her voice came out harsh and cold, shocking her. Maria stood in the middle of the road, shoulders slumped, a tear running crookedly down her face.
"Just talk to me."
She could have broken, then…forgotten everything and just hugged her, talked to her. Remembered how good things had been with them, once upon a time.
But the moment passed, and she knew that she couldn't. She couldn't go back.
"I'm sorry."
It was all she could give her, right now. With one last look at Maria's face, she turned again and walked away. She didn't stop until she heard the screech of the brakes…and the scream that shattered the silence.
Chapter 2 Her head seemed to be spinning out of control as she sat, motionless, in the waiting room chair.
Muffled words, sobs, the sound of the television….all faded to the back of her mind, blocked out by the visions that tormented her.
Maria's face as she'd pleaded with her.
Maria's face as she'd lain on the ground…bleeding and broken, eyes closed.
The ambulance, speeding torward them and then the flurry of activity as they loaded her tiny frame onto the gurney. All of the tubes and machines, beeping and whirring.
Maria…silent, still, pale.
Maria.
'I'm sorry.'
A simple prayer, a cry for help and forgiveness.
Her fault. It was always her fault.
Maria would die because of her.
She knew that she would die.
There was no hope left in her heart.
Maria's face filled her mind, a portrait of life and death all at once. She had been so full of life. And then her mind was flooded with pictures, memories of her life before…high school, college.
She, Maria, and Alex.
Studying, partying, shopping…all the fun they'd had together. Vibrant Maria, the one that had never let them stay sad, their pillar of strength through hard times.
She had loved Maria so much…she had been her best friend, and one of the most important people in her life.
But then the memories grew dark, overshaded with sadness and fear… Liz's Grandmother, dead on her hospital bed.
Her parents, fighting…divorcing.
College.
It had been the last straw..moving away and having to survive on her own. The pressure had broken her, that and the pain.
Slowly-that's how it had started, her downhill journey. Her grades had dropped, and she'd spent more and more time alone, in her room. Until she had finally just stopped showing up at her classes. For awhile, there had been drugs…and sex, a different man every night. By the time her first year of college had passed, she'd already had an overdose and an abortion.
That summer she'd returned to Roswell, in a deep depression and just hoping to find some of the normalcy she'd left behind.
But things had never been the same.
Maria and Alex were happy. Going to college, enjoying their lives. They'd welcomed her back, of course. At first.
She just hadn't been able to let go, though. Of everything she'd seen and been through.
Her friends, her home just weren't enough to bring her back to herself…and she had not known what was.
Until now.
She could only think that if Maria would just get better…if she could see her again, talk to her…she could be okay. She could think again, reach through the dark clutter of her head and find the light again. She would be able to remember how the real Liz Parker acted, and thought…was. And she could be her.
His deep voice rattled her deeply, reaching out to her as none had done in so long.
She raised her head, found the deep brown eyes staring back at her. "I'm Dr. Evans."
She found herself only staring back, unable to comprehend anything happening around her. All she could see was those deep, soulful eyes. "Miss…Parker?"
The wheels began to turn again, and she could think.
"Yes….I'm sorry."
She blinked, struggled to gather her thoughts.
"About Ms. Deluca…"
Her heart began to pound in her chest.
"Is she okay?"
He tried to hide his concern, but she could see through it. His eyes told her everything.
"She's…in a coma."
Another flash in her mind, Maria laughing, eating ice cream from the carton.
"Oh my God."
Her head was spinning again, and this time she couldn't seem to catch it.
Nothing was ever going to be okay again…
"Miss Parker? Are you okay?"
She could remotely feel herself slumping over, blacking out. But she couldn't…she had to be there..for Maria…
"Yeah…yeah, fine."
She propped herself against the arm of the chair.
"Will she wake up?"
The fleeting look of worry crossed his face again.
The scream of sirens sounded in her ears, drowning out all of the sounds again.
She felt the tear slip down her cheek, the first of many that she couldn't hold back.
She made no move to wipe them away…only waited until the screaming stopped, and tried to focus on the doctor.
He was talking, slowly, deliberately.
"….depends on how long she stays in the coma. The longer she does, the less of a chance she has to wake up."
More tears.
"Is there…anything you can do? Please?"
He did not answer her at first, and she felt the hope slipping away once again.
"I think so."
His whispered words brought it all back.
Chapter 3 He slipped quietly into the room, glancing quickly around before advancing toward the bed.
The petite blonde girl looked tiny in the huge bed, the stark white sheets pulled up to her chin and hiding all but her pale face.
He felt his stomach twist in agony upon seeing her.
Every day, no matter how many broken and bruised people he saw, it never managed to affect him differently. It always hurt.
Cautiously, he began to approach her bedside….taking small, measured steps, feeling his hands trembling beside him as he grew closer.
The little voice in his head…the one that sometimes sounded strangely similar to Isabel's, began to question his motives, scolded him for even thinking about something like this…
Struggling desperately to block it out, he continued to stare at the girl.
A face flashed before him, in his mind, and he found himself smiling in remembrance….dark hair, soulful eyes. She had looked so sad, but yet so beautiful. All he wanted to do was help her…to make her smile. He would give anything to see her smile.
He reached out, lightly touching the girl's arm, sliding his hand down until he felt her pulse. It was weak…so very weak, like she was just barely hanging on to life.
The voice surfaced again, begging him not to go through with it…to think once of himself, and his family…to protect them. Reminding him to think this through, to be in control.
But above all of it he still heard her voice…..Elizabeth Parker. "Is there anything you can do…please?"
Her haunted eyes, her broken soul….it was all that pushed him forward, made him continue on his mission.
When he had become a doctor, he had sworn to Isabel, Micheal, and himself that he would never use his powers. He would be like any other normal physician..using human medicine to heal people.
The girl that sat outside had affected him enough to make him break that oath…and risk everything that they had worked their entire lives to protect.
But he couldn't think of that now….and he could not go back. With both hands, he gently cupped her head. She was still, and her eyes remained closed.
He closed his own, concentrating, pouring all of his strength into her, healing her.
A jolt passed through his body, and the flood of images washed over him, so quickly that they were only bright flashes of light. First their were children, playing, dancing, talking…a small dark haired girl and boy.
The same children, growing up…high school, graduation. A girl that he recognized as Liz, crying, throwing things..yelling. Driving off.
He could feel all of Maria's pain, all of the emotions she'd felt as Liz had left her.
It was all over almost as soon as it had begun, the impact of everything knocking him slightly away from her bed, and into the thin divider curtain.
When he opened his eyes again to look at her, he was grateful to see that her eyes were not open, but that she was coming to her senses. Maybe he still had a chance to cover all of this up. Returning to stand beside her, he waited until she had completely awaken, disoriented but alive.
"Huh..where…what happened?"
She was looking around frantically, confused when she realized where she was.
He placed a calming hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her back down against the bed.
"You're fine, Miss Deluca. You were in an accident this afternoon, but everything's okay. You gave us a little scare, but there was no major damage done."
She only nodded, not completely understanding his meaning.
"Liz?"
He shook his head.
"No, she's…"
He felt the presence beside him, smelled the wonderful scent of her before he saw her.
"Hey Maria."
The tears in her voice were evident, but the smile was more so.
"God, I thought I'd lost you…"
Maria had begun to cry now as well, but was grinning giddily.
"I'm so sorry."
Maria sniffled.
"Me too."
Liz walked around to the other side of the bed and leaned down, embracing her friend tightly.
Neither of them verbalized it, but both of them knew that things were going to change.
Max watched them, smiling slightly, before he turned to leave.
"No, wait!"
Elizabeth.
He turned around slowly, plastering on his professional face. There was nothing he wanted more than to talk to her…but he knew that things had to end here.
If it went beyond this moment, this room….everything would fall apart. So he said nothing as she walked over to him, smiling brightly, her eyes glistening with tears.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He avoided her eyes, instead focusing on the wall behind her.
"It's my job."
He knew it was a stupid reply, but all other words had seemed to fail him just then.
She leaned closer to him.
"No…what you did…it was a miracle. I don't know exactly what it was..but you saved her life. Thank you, so much."
He felt himself waver at her closeness. It was almost overwhelming…the scent of her hair, the feel of her warm breath on his face.
Nodding, he started to turn again.
It would only take 5 seconds to get to the door, and then he could put this behind him forever…
Her arms wrapped around him suddenly, winding around his neck and pulling him tightly against her.
"I mean it."
And, ignoring all reason, he hugged her back, reveled in the feel of her body pressed against his…of his arms wrapped around her tiny waist. It was like nothing he'd ever known, and everything he'd always dreamed of. He knew that, even though he'd only met this woman 30 minutes ago…that their lives had somehow been entertwined, and it was something that he could not change.
Pulling away, he smiled at her, a secret smile that told the secrets of his heart.
"Bye."
She smiled back.
"Bye."
He walked away, knowing that it would not be the last time that he saw her.
Chapter 4 She turned the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life as she pressed the gas pedal lightly.
Glancing in the rearview mirror, she spotted the older woman pushing Maria over in a wheelchair.
Leaning over to open the door, she smiled up at the nurse.
"Thanks."
She helped Maria out of the chair and into the car's low bucket seat, snapping in her seatbelt for her.
"It's okay, honey. Just remember to stay off your feet, and take your medicine if you start to feel bad."
Maria nodded lightly.
"Okay."
The woman closed the door, and walked away from the car. Liz knew that for some reason, Dr. Evans was trying to keep up appearances that Maria was still…fragile.
She had no idea why, but she knew that it had something to do with how he'd saved her. And she had no intentions of blowing his cover.
"So…that was weird, huh?"
Liz looked over at Maria as she pulled away from the hospital.
"Yeah. I was really scared. But then…it was just like…well, a miracle."
Maria smiled.
"That doctor was pretty cute, huh?"
Liz grinned.
"Cute? He was hot!"
The girls laughed together, something that they had not done in ages. It was one of the best feelings Liz knew..to be able to talk to her best friend again.
"Yeah, you two looked pretty cozy in there.."
Liz flushed.
"He was your doctor! He saved your life…I thought it was appropriate." "It looked like he thought it was more than appropriate. He was getting into it!"
Liz laughed again.
"Okay. Sure, Maria."
"I mean it. I can see you two…you know, hooking up."
"Oh yeah, me too. I'll just come back to the hospital tomorrow, tell him where it hurts and how he can make it better."
Maria dissolved into a fit of giggles, clutching her stomach.
"And I'll bet that he wouldn't mind that one bit."
As she carefully drove down the highway, Liz couldn't help but remember the day's earlier events. She still couldn't get it out of her head….everything that had happened.
"Maria..I really am sorry about earlier. And…everything."
The silence that came after her words worried her a bit, but she knew that Maria needed time to think.
"I don't exactly remember everything about today. But about everything else…I knew that you were confused, Liz. That you'd had a hard time, and you were just trying to figure things out. But I also knew that when you did, you would be back. And I would have my best friend again. I never gave up on you. Because I had faith that you would find your way."
Tears pricked at Liz's eyes.
"Thanks. You're the best."
She tossed a smile over to her, receiving one in return.
"You too."
An hour and half a carton of ice cream had passed, and they were still sitting together in Liz's floor, having a girl-talk marathon. Everything that had happened in the time that they were separated, they had discussed. Liz was trying to make sense of everything she had been through, and Maria was lightening the mood with her funny tales of Alex's life misadventures.
"So have you..found anyone? You know, the one that 'lights your fire', so to speak."
Maria shook her head.
"Nope. I've dated a lot..mostly jerks, though. Not exactly a garden variety of wonderful guys here in Roswell, but some of 'em are okay. Nobody I'd want to spend the rest of my life with, though."
"Me neither. After all of the guys I went through back in college, I'm not sure if I ever want to have sex again in my life."
Maria dipped into the ice cream again, shoving the heaping spoonful into her mouth.
"Yeah."
Liz sighed, thinking again of earlier.
"Well..I guess there are some exeptions."
Maria grinned.
"Like some certain doctors?"
"I don't know…maybe. There was just something about him. Something that.."
"Made your heart go pitter-patter?"
Liz laughed.
"Yeah, sort of."
"I think you should call him."
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head quickly.
"No. No way. He'll probably think I'm..some sort of weird stalker or something."
"Liz, you'd be crazy not to. I mean..like you said, he did something amazing today. We don't understand it, but it was special. He's special! And the way he looked at you…the look on his face when you were hugging…I can assure you, he would not mind hearing from you at all."
Chapter 5 The hollow ringing of the phone buzzed in her ear, droning on and on until she felt like she would scream. Sighing, she placed the received gently down on the cradle. Tried to ignore the disappointment that was slowly seeping into her heart.
"Not home."
Maria frowned, shaking her blonde head vigorously.
"We'll get him later, then."
Liz propped her elbows onto her crossed legs, focusing on the floor and desperately avoiding Maria's seeking gaze.
"We will."
It was the day after the accident, and Maria was staying with Liz above the Crashdown. Her dad's death had left her the café and all of his money. It was enough to keep her comfortable for the rest of her life. Sometimes, comfortable just wasn't enough.
His memory still haunted her sometimes when she walked the empty hallways, or roamed the kitchens late at night. There were times when she remembered him so vividly, sitting at the bar and listening to Oldies, doing the books. Most of all, she remembered how much she'd wanted him to give her more privacy.
She would give anything to have him with her right now.
Maria was all she had left now, and she had almost lost her too. It just taught her to hold on with a firmer grasp.
She gazed fondly at Maria, who was absentmindedly playing with a strand of her hair.
"I'm sorry, Maria," she whispered softly.
Her best friend only smiled at her.
"You've said that already, silly. You know I love you. And love is forgiveness." She smiled at her friend's simple words.
"Thank you."
The phone was ringing again, and she held it nervously in her right hand. She was beginning to think that he was purposely ignoring her. She was about to hang up when he answered. Finally. That same deep, gravelly voice that'd been taunting her over the past week was playing in her ear, making her smile.
"Hello?"
"Hey."
He paused, and she pulled in a breath.
"It's Liz."
He still didn't answer.
"Liz Parker. From the…."
"Hospital. I knew who it was."
She was hurt by his tone, but tried not to dwell on something so little.
"How's your friend?"
She frowned again. Not exactly the thing she wanted to talk about.
"She's good. Perfect, in fact. Same old Maria."
"That's good."
Another awkward silence left her searching for the purpose she'd actually called.
"Oh, yeah….umm…I was wondering…"
Maria made a little hand signal to her.
"Do you want to have dinner sometime?"
She could hear his breath come out in a whoosh, which worried her.
"I…don't think that would be such a good idea."
She shrugged at Maria, who made another signal.
"Coffee then?"
"No…really, I'm just so busy.."
She could hear his resolve melting away, and smiled a little.
"C'mon. Just a cup of coffee couldn't hurt. I'd just like to..talk with you."
"Well…n.."
"I won't take no for an answer."
This time, she could hear his smile.
"I was going to say nine o'clock okay with you?"