Chapter One Prelude

Set sometime after the leakage of Beckett's secret. This chapter was written between Ep19&20, so it didn't take the course of the show. It includes a long description of Castle's inner activities. 'Cause I think it's somewhat necessary for the later development of the plot.

Summary: After Beckett's secret was revealed, Castle made up his mind to keep some distance. But a man knowing something about Beckett's mother's murder found shot to death heralded the inevitable confrontation and the exposure of more secrets. Castle got involved in the murder, putting himself in a life-threatening danger while trying to go on keeping his secret from her. Will the moment of truth bring them closer or tear them apart?

Disclaimer: Don't own Castle. Sigh~ What can I do?

Please R&R. Your comments will be appreciated. Thx! :)

It has been 2 weeks since that heart-breaking moment at the precinct when Castle standing at the other side of the two-way mirror overheard Beckett made her long due confession that she remembered everything. Every second. Her words have been echoing in his mind since then. He has no clue what he feels or what he's gonna do, simply allowing her words to smash his heart into millions of pieces. Such an acute pain, he has never felt before.

Now in the middle of another sleepless night and stuck in a irksome dilemma, Castle swings from leaving the precinct and Beckett behind forever to staying at that pain-stirring place while seeing no glimpse of hope of their future. He laughs at himself and his incomparable foolishness. He used to strongly believe they would always be a part of each other's life, which was the only reason and support for his seemingly endless waiting. But now, who has been fooled?

She said there was a wall in her heart since her mother's murder, indicating she wasn't in the position to accept a real relationship. So he stepped back and gave the space she needed and waited and helped in every possible way to break down the damned wall. Each time seeing her pulchritudinous countenance, her shinning smile and hearing her teasing remarks, he thought he was another step closer to her well-protected heart. So he thought. But all were a mere delusion, nothing but a huge joke.

If she had felt the same way, she would at least have mentioned his confession. If she had felt the same way but had not yet been ready to accept his love before her mother's murderer was put under justice, she would at least have explained it to him. He would understand and, knowing that it's only a matter of time, go on waiting until all the conditions permit. But she said nothing and even worse told him there was a blank in her memory. Why? Because she was too embarrassed to bring it up and was too considerate to hurt his feelings. Ironically, silence was what hurt the most. What a dreadful lie to show objection. She might as well say the simple word "no" out loud.

Sipping from his cup of coffee, he takes the remote of the smart board off the table and lighted the screen on. Her face appears in front of him, smiling one of her most stunning smiles. He can feel the corners of his own lips lifted subliminally, caressing her cheek on the screen with his thumb.

He doesn't realize since when she becomes so indispensable, that if she's downcast, he feels blue the whole day. Maybe since the first time they met when he was complaining about his boring life, or maybe since they closed the first case together and he printed a kiss on her peachy cheek. What will she act upon finding out he has been secretively following her mother's case which he has vowed to drop? Castle is only certain about one thing, when that day comes, they will be over and their friendship, so she calls it, will give way to her hatred.

But he doesn't want her hurt even till now, whatever she regards him as, friend or partner, he is gonna be there for her and protect her from any potential dangers from the shadows of her mother's case. A voice at the back of his mind says in a low and sarcastic voice, "Protect her? Who do think you are? Writer boy! She is a cop and strong enough to take care of herself. She will be cheerful if you stop shadowing her."

"No! It's not like that!" He ejaculates, throwing the remote onto the floor with a thud.

He loves her, even though she lied, even though she didn't and doesn't feel the same, even though he pretends to feel nothing for her any more, even though he took the blonde out for a lunch in Beckett's face and drove the former to the crime scene in his Ferrari, snubbing Beckett deliberately, which in fact stabbed his own heart to bleed.

Castle's train of thoughts is broken by a sudden ring of his phone. For a fleeting moment, he hopes it's Beckett but hesitates at what he'll say and how he'll react. Fortunately, his worries are relived by an unfamiliar number flickering on the screen.

"Castle" He answers with a mixture of feelings, half disappointment and half relief.

There's several seconds of silence at the other end of the line followed by a nervous and heavy respiration.

"Hello, who's that?" He repeats.

"Richard Castle?"

"Yeah, that's me" He's bewildered.

"I have something… that may interest you." The hoarse voice answered, stuttering at his words.

Something in his tone that cannot be named disturbs Castle, sending shivers down his spine. "What? Who's that? What are you getting at?"

"No questions. I… don't have much time. We need to talk."

"Why do I trust you?" Castle raises his voice a little bit.

Another silence reigns. "No need to…it's… it's about Johanna Beckett."

"How do you…"

"See me at the underground parking 3 blocks from your apartment in 2 hours. Better not be late. "

"But…"

"I'm running out of time. Some… someone's after me. " The man, breathing heavily, is literally shouting hysterically right now.

"Sir, listen!" The seriousness of the problem seems to sink in. "Whatever this is about, leave detective Beckett alone. You hear me?"

"No guarantee." And with that, the line's dead, leaving Castle with nothing but a jumble of confused and frightening ideas in his head.