Enjoy and please review!
Summary: Aaron just won't cooperate, he's crying non-stop. The remedy? Spending some quality time with a certain Southern hic. Oneshot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, it belongs to its creators. I don't own You All Everybody, it belongs to DriveSHAFT. I don't own the song He's Evil, It belongs to the Kinks.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Story Time:
"Calm down, love, please." pleaded Claire, rocking the shrieking baby in her arms.
"Claire, why don't I try?" asked Charlie. Claire nodded and carefully transferred the baby into his arms.
Aaron continued to shriek and cry. Charlie sighed.
"What do you think's wrong?"
"I don't know, his nappy's clean, he's been fed, he's tucked in all nicely. Maybe we should sing him a song."
"You all everybody! You all everybody! Acting like you're stupid people, wearing expensive clothes!"
Claire forced a smile. "Yeah, I don't think that's going to work." she muttered.
"You all everybody! You all everybody! Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, DUH, you all everybody!"
"Charlie," Claire said nervously, trying to get his attention.
He started to play air guitar and twirled around in circles. "You all everybody!"
"CHARLIE!" screamed Claire at the top of her lungs. Charlie stopped and looked at her.
Everything was silent on the island, even the polar bears who'd been "playing" had stopped.
"Yes?" he asked in a I'm-going-to-be-nice-but-you're-pissing-me-off tone.
"It's not working. Aaron's crying even more now!"
"Alright, alright, I get the point!"
They tried again and again to put Aaron to sleep, feed him, change him, but he just wasn't cooperating.
"Why don't I bring him for a walk?" suggested Charlie. "You can get your rest."
"Alright," sighed Claire, handing him over with a kiss on his forehead.
"Bye, sweetie, be good to Charlie, now." she cooed. Aaron reached up and grabbed a fistful of her golden hair.
She smiled and gently pried his fingers off.
Aaron continued to cry like he'd been doing the past fifteen minutes.
"He's got wit, he's got charm, but when he gets rough he'll break your arm! He's got taste, manners and grace, but when he gets tough he'll slit your face! He'll buy you jewels, expensive clothes, then his mind'll go and he'll bust your nose! Umm...once you're in there'll be no getting out, so look out, look out, look out-"
Aaron just kept on crying.
"Come on, Aaron, give me a break! Don't you like the Kinks?" he muttered exasperatedly.
"Hey chuckie, you wanna shut that baby up?!" sneered Sawyer as he passed by. 'It's giving me a migraine!"
Aaron stopped crying abruptly.
"Well," smirked Sawyer. "I see the little guy follows commands well. Roll over!" he exclaimed mockingly.
Charlie stared, confused. What was with Aaron? Why had he suddenly stopped crying when Sawyer had passed?
"What?"
"Nothing, it's just...what do you know about taking care of babies?"
A half hour later...
"Are you sure we can trust him with Aaron?" asked Claire worriedly.
"Don't worry, I told Sun to make sure she watches Sawyer in case he tries anything funny."
"I don't trust him." she said.
"I don't either." he replied.
"Why am I getting pinned with Island Baby?" shouted Sawyer from a little ways away. "I didn't agree to this!"
"Well, you have to, or Kate won't sleep with you for a week!" shouted Claire.
Kate passed by. "I won't?"
"No, you won't."
"Oh, okay." she chirped, skipping away merrily.
Sawyer sighed, defeated. "You know my weakness."
Claire wrinkled her nose adorably and ran as far and fast as she could, Charlie at her heels, before Sawyer could change his mind.
"Well," sighed Sawyer, holding the bundle in his hands, "I guess it's just me and you now, Antoine." he sighed.
"Dude, his name's Aaron." said Hurley.
"Whatever, Jabba."
He entered his makeshift tent and set Aaron down on his bed.
"Well, I guess I'll just...read then." he murmured.
He pulled out a magazine and flipped through the pages.
A few minutes later, Aaron started to cry.
Sawyer groaned. "Shut up, please."
"What do you want from me? What? I ain't feedin' you, 'case if ya haven't noticed, I ain't got boobs!"
Aaron didn't like to be talked to this way. His face was turning red from shrieking.
"Want a story? That what you want? Fine! One day a lamb was walking, and then a wolf ate it! There!"
Aaron's crying level went up a notch.
"No, no! The lamb's fine! I was just kiddin', they were just playin'!" shouted Sawyer, panicked.
"Okay, here's a better story; We crashed on this island about four months ago. Mohammed tortured me for asthma medicine for Sticks, who later became his girlfriend, Jack and Freckles were gettin' cozy, and Chuckie wasn't scared that yer mom was pregnant."
The crying slowly died down, and Aaron gurgled happily.
"We were runnin' out of water, so Jack-O convinced some people to move to the caves. Me an' a couple of other people stayed at the beach. There's a weird smoke monster that eats people, and Charlie gave yer mommy invisible peanut butter.
"There's a French chick who's been on the island sixteen years and she tortured Sayid just like he tortured me. Freckles always wanted me, just didn't know how to show it, Jack was getting jealous, Charlie kicked his Heroine addiction, and Claire was abducted by Ethan, a crazy savage, for two weeks. Charlie died protecting her. Jack later revived him.
"Everyone's wonderin' when Charlie and yer mommy are gonna get together. I have a bet that it'll happen in about two weeks. Boone died. Shannon did too a little while after.
An hour later...
After enjoying the free time as long as they could, Charlie and Claire returned to Sawyer's tent. They could hear him talking non stop.
"And then, the Doc and Freckles got caught in a net, but she chose me over him, because he was goin' all power mad, and-"
"Sawyer? We're here to take Aaron back." said Claire, standing at the outside of his tent.
"Aww, but I was just about to tell him about Sun's bun in the oven!"
Charlie grimaced. What had he been telling him?
"I guess the little guy will have to wait 'till next time. Bye, Antoine."
Claire laughed and Charlie grimaced again as Sawyer yelled after them, "Can I watch him again tommorow?"
"No way." murmured Claire, laughing.
"You all everybody! You all everybody! Acting like-"
"Don't start that again."
"Hmmph."
A/N: Well, please review!
xox Sacha