Chapter 1 – Bound by Lungs
What if there isn't a tomorrow?
Hinami Fueguchi sought upon the stars for peace. Oh how they glimmered upon the canvas of black called the night sky. Glittering city lights reflected off the glass window of Touka Kirishima's apartment. Hinami felt safe here, safer than she would on the streets without her parents… The loss her heart had taken kept her caged away like a bird.
Touka watched on, brooding in her own incompetence. If Hinami hadn't of saved them using her kagune against that investigator… The ends would have been much different.
Kaneki however had been keeping his distance from Touka ever since the events under the bridge. More because he could not bear to face her. When he occasionally made it up to Hinami to give her books and teach her the pronunciation of certain kanji, he never stayed for long. There were too many times Touka felt him brush past her shoulder where his eyes scanned his feet and his lips were stuck in tight line.
Something's wrong with him. Shitty Kaneki.
In truth, Touka had developed a certain admiration for the half ghoul since the run in with the doves. An admiration that pushed much further than a mutual respect.Touka was furious but surprisingly not at Kaneki. It was more at herself, especially when he ignored her and she did nothing about it.
Touka, step up. Don't let him get to you.
She sat back in her desk chair, stretching her hands above her head. Papers and textbooks lined her desk in a disorganised fashion. Touka had tried to get back to her daily routine following the episode under the bridge but Yoshimura had urged her to concentrate on her studies rather than the work downstairs in the café. This much school work was killing her slowly from the inside but she pressed on, eager to complete her work so she could finally finish and make herself some coffee downstairs. It was already quite late, so few people would be in the shop at this time. Hopefully he wasn't there.
So she kept working, focusing on her objectives and writing down notes until Hinami entered the room with a cup of fresh coffee. Already in her pyjamas, the child ghoul sat on the edge of Touka's bed, listening to the frantic sound of pencil scraping paper.
'Onee chan, I have coffee for you!" Hinami chimed.
"Uh-huh." Touka called back, scribbling faster and faster until her hand went numb.
"It's going to get cold." Hinami called again.
"Okay." Touka ignored her once again, also ignoring the throbbing sensation in her hand.
"Onii chan made it for you."
Touka's pencil snapped in two in her bare hand, graphite covering the length of her page. Hinami could only stare on in shock. She had no idea what Kaneki meant to Touka because Touka never seemed to show her interest in him. But now Touka only felt like the pencil she held; snapped and broken in two, lying in pieces all over the floor. She could start to hear footsteps coming up the stairs.
"Hinami chan… It's time for bed." Touka sighed and Hinami, without protest gave her a small hug and scampered out the door.
Kaneki came slowly in the room with a gentle smile on his face. Damn he got on her nerves sometimes. He was still wearing his uniform and his white eyepatch.
"What do you want?" Touka asked rudely, going back to her study.
With a slight laugh, Kaneki brushed off Touka's disinterest in him. Since the night under the bridge, Touka had not acknowledged his existence. "I just came up to see that you got a coffee since you've been studying so much."
Touka glared at her paper, ignoring him.
"Touka chan… Your desk is a mess! Let me help clean it." Kaneki stammered
God, he's doing my head in.
She took a glimpse at the steaming coffee Hinami had placed at the edge of her desk and it smelled absolutely delicious. She grabbed it and took a sip, jerking back as the beautiful and powerful taste slithered down her throat.
It tastes like the Manager's…
"I'm glad you like it." Kaneki smiled as he brushed the graphite off her papers. "At least I can make decent coffee now!"
He looked down at her and Touka's heart begun to beat faster.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Touka asked, holding the coffee cup between her fingers.
"Well you saw me at the start…" Kaneki replied, leaning against her desk. "I'd thought I'd never get the hand of it."
Well you definitely did get it.
"Touka chan?" Kaneki asked.
"What baka?" Touka answered casually.
"Do you…" a noticeable gulp. "Hate me?"
Touka turned to face the half ghoul with a horrified look on her face. "Why would you think that idiot?"
"Then why are you ignoring me all the time?!" Kaneki blurted out and Touka flushed a bright red.
"I'm ignoring you? What about you? You won't even look at me!" Touka lashed back, putting her headphones down and standing up.
Kaneki stared wide eyed at her, tears daring to leak from his eyes. Touka on the other hand, was red in the face with tears flushing from her sockets.
"Touka chan…" Kaneki stuttered, looking down at Touka's tear stained eyes. Even in a state like this, she was beautiful with her dark purple hair and deep set eyes that pierced through night's darkness. Her body was petite but well-rounded with generous curves. "I guess I can't hide my feelings from you anymore huh?"
He walked over to her bed where her fluffy blue comforter lay in a heap and to Touka's surprise, he begun to caress the fabric between his long gentle fingers. "Is it okay to say I am in love with you? Or is it too crazy?"
Touka watched him neatly line the comforter on the bed.
"Is it okay for me to be accepted in your world? Kaneki suddenly asked and tears begun to stream from his eyes. "Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere…"
He didn't belong anywhere? What was he talking about?! He belonged with the staff of Anteiku, Hinami chan and I. Oh God I want him so bad.
So bad that her chest ached at every single breath. He was a living, walking tragedy but he could still put a smile on his face and deal with Touka's rude remarks and Enji san's constant teasing.
"Kaneki…" she moved forward to him with his back facing her. "Kaneki… I l-lo-love you too."
Kaneki turned around to face the purple haired ghoul whose eyes were wide in shock. He came closer and wrapped her up in his arms, slightly crushing her in his embrace. But at this moment, he did not feel he needed to care; as Touka herself had strung her arms around his torso, barring him of movement.
"You're… So beautiful…" Kaneki whispered in her hair and Touka shuddered in pleasure.
"Baka… Why didn't you tell me before?" Touka leant against his chest and felt the beats of his heart race at the same speed hers was going.
"I didn't know how to…. I'm sorry." Kaneki apologized, pulling away to look her in the eyes.
"That's okay. I have you now." Touka smiled radiantly, brushing a loose strand of hair away from his eyes.
"And I have you?" he questioned sheepishly, resting his forehead against hers.
"Of course." She replied, giving him a peck on the tip of his nose.
'It's late, you should sleep." Kaneki brought it off and gave her hands one last warm squeeze.
"Okay… See you tomorrow?" Touka loosened her grip with his fingers and he nodded in return.
"Sleep tight beautiful." Kaneki whispered, blowing a kiss and walking out the door.
Ken Kaneki out of all people. He's the one I want most in the world. Now I have him
Touka could hardly sleep that night, she craved Kaneki's touch on her cool skin, his lips on hers and his whispers in her ears.
'Kaneki…" Touka murmured, tasting the name on her tongue.
That name was finally hers. That name would fuel her through pain and suffering. She'd never be alone again. She proved those people wrong that had told her love was impossible to find as a ghoul. She found a new strength in herself…
There was no doubt he loved her. And there was no doubt she was the unkindled fingers of a wild flame burning in the night sky. But that was who she was and Kaneki couldn't have wanted it any other way.
As Kaneki stared up at the ceiling of his apartment he thought of the ways Touka had stood out to him as a young, strong and passionate girl. He loved her for her protectiveness of her loved ones and her security she brought with her warmth. He couldn't think of someone more beautiful and loving than she was even though she appeared scary.
Touka….
Kaneki…
Hinami Fueguchi sought upon the stars for peace. Peace for her mother and father among the heavens. Peace for the staff of Anteiku in their aim of aiding ghouls. Peace for the new found couple of her closest guardians, rippled with love and exhaustion. And peace for herself in a land where conflict was brought along with the rising of the sun.