Summary: DO NOT CONFUSE THIS WITH BLACK SUNDAY! I didn't mean to confuse people (I think) I just really liked the song and it just so happened to be another "Sunday". One-shot, Tom's Pov set after 311 Celebrity Skin. Now that Hunter's gone, will Jommy be together?
Disclaimer: Broken Sunday does not belong to me; it's performed by Saliva, I just used and abused it, like the IS characters and making Tommy sound kinda more gay than usual. Oh well. He's mine to make slightly gayed up in this ficlet so it's all good. Haha, enjoy.
A/N: I probably make little to no sense, and if something does not read right, it was probably in my crap-tastic editing after my sister's 5 hour graduation ceremony, OUTSIDE, in the blazing sun, and I got FRIED! Stupid medications making sensative to sunlight, EVEN MY FINGERS ARE FRIED! Applying Aloe to the falangies, NOT FUN!
Broken Sunday
I walked alone down the cold and dark Toronto streets. The normally well lit city seemed bleak and dark. My hands were shoved deep into the pockets of my leather jacket and I shivered in the cold night air.
My mind was still racing from events earlier in the day. I don't think my heart ever started beating from when it stopped earlier. The look in her eyes…the cold hatred in Hunter's...they'd forever be burned in my memory; memories that would forever remain fresh and vivid. Tonight was the first time I was ever truly scared.
I looked up at the stars tonight
I stopped in mid-step and closed my eyes, trying to fight away the images of Hunter and the knife. I wasn't concerned with him hurting me; I wanted him to. I deserved it. But Jude…she didn't need to be brought into this. She's innocent. Her only crime was being my one true love. I shook my head and I turned my face up to the sky and stared at the stars, twinkling like glitter across the velvet sky.
To see your face
The stars tonight reminded me of Jude; of her beauty and innocence that, even in the darkest hour, shines bright. She truly is an Instant Star.
And to feel your presence now
Her eyes were always going to haunt me. Those terrified eyes when I walked into the studio space. Those eyes that was both fearful and hopeful. I knew something was wrong, just from the look in her eyes, but I never would have thought Hunter would be lurking in the background. I had hoped Darius was right and he was gone. But, once again, I was wrong. Her eyes in that moment are now a permanent reminder of why I am not allowed to fall in love. Why I can't be with her even though she's my whole world.
I need you here right now
I sighed and looked down from the sky and down the seemingly endless road before me. Part of me wanted to run away and never look back. That small part of me that knew everyone I cared about was better off without me. Sure, they'd miss me, at first. But after time went on, it'd be like I never was there; never existed. I'm not the kind of guy who leaves touchstones on people's hearts. I'm the guy everyone thanks the heavens has left town for good. Even Jude would move on.
I came from a lonely place,
I took a deep breath and continued my walk. I was wrong to think I'd get my head cleared this way, but it was safer than turning to a few fifths; at least I wouldn't have a pulsing headache in the morning. But this wasn't helping. My mind was still racing and I don't think it will ever reach the finish line.
Windows strewn in my darkest hour now
I wasn't sure if it always was like this, or if it was a perception altered by my emotion, but the crowded city seemed strangely empty. No one was on the streets, and only the occasional car past by. It was late, but not that late for this city. Even the buildings seemed few and farther between.
I need you here right now,
I sighed heavily as I continued forward. I suddenly felt an urge to be around people. To be somewhere familiar.
I need you here,
Always a loner, I was surprised how desperate I felt for some form of companionship. Even when I was with someone, I was never really with them. But now…
Cos you won't leave me lonely,
I wanted her. I wanted to be with her at all times. Hunter's attack only strengthened that part of me and made it painful to be away from her. I know she's ok; that she's hope with her family, with Sadie, Stuart, and maybe even Jamie, but I was still trapped in the studio space, staring at Jude with Hunter's knife to her throat.
Cos I can't go on,
I closed my eyes as I walked, trying to block the images out of my mind. To build that wall around the memory that kept it from my conscious thoughts and haunted my dreams, like everything else in my life. This time, I wasn't successful.
You won't leave me broken,
I sighed heavily and stopped in mid-step. I reached up and rubbed my temples, suddenly feeling the beginnings of a headache. Come on Quincy, I told myself, get over it. I looked up and blinked in surprise. I had ended up in the alley just behind G Major. The very alley Jude and I kissed on her 16th.
In a world that's not my home
I barked out a laugh at the irony and shook my head. Of all godforsaken the places to end up, I thought to myself, remembering that night with excruciating detail. Not a day passed when I didn't wonder what would have happened if I wouldn't have chickened out and broken her heart.
Cos I'll be gone,
Reason number … who remembers the exact count why I shouldn't be with her.
Until forever
Why I should leave forever and never look back.
I'll be home,
But I can't. No matter how life rubbed it in my face, I was anchored here. My heart, body, and soul all belonged here; with Jude.
I shivered as a cool night breeze began to blow, howling through the empty alley. I pulled my jacket closer to me and ran inside, the door surprisingly unlocked, to get warm before I headed home. The door slammed behind me and I was even more surprised to see the lights on in the studio. It was late, no one should be here.
I walked through the studio, trying to find out who was here. The door to Studio A was open and I stepped into the doorway, and froze.
"Jude?"
Goodbye my Broken Sunday
Jude looked up from her notebook to look at me, her eyes filled with surprise. My eyes locked on hers and we just stayed staring at each other for a long moment. She's alive, she's ok. I found myself thinking, irrational relief flooding over me.
One love and one escape,
"What are you doing here?" We both asked and I looked away to hide the smile that came to my face.
To another place where the pain and fear fade out,
"I uh…I had to get out of the house." Jude said, tapping her pen against her notepad. I sighed and entered the studio a bit and leaned against the wall next to the door, not wanting to intrude but not wanting to be outside either.
I need you here right now,
I just wanted to be with her, to see that she was ok. That she was still my girl and we would be ok.
I need you here
"I was out for a walk, ended up here." I told her with a shrug. Jude nodded and looked down at her notepad, a frown crossing her features. I wanted to offer to help. I wanted to sit next to her and help her write her next hit. But she didn't want my help anymore. She didn't want nor need me. She made that clear when she fired me before the Under the Mic camera crew.
cos you won't leave me lonely,
I watched her a moment, taking in her look of total concentration from the scrunched up nose to the frown of her eyebrows. She chewed unconsciously on her bottom lip and her pen tapped at the notepad, either the beginnings of a beat or just a way to help her think, I wasn't sure. Her blue eyes were hard with determination.
Cos I can't go on,
I felt a pang of sadness that she didn't need me anymore. It was inevitable that eventually she wouldn't need me as her producer anymore. I'd watched her grow, seen her turn from an awkward teenager to pro-celebrity. Her music matured far past her age in the two and a half years we worked together. I had always said she didn't need me, that I was just her wingman. It hurt that she finally agreed.
You won't leave me broken,
I sighed and looked down at my shoes and back over at her.
"Remember to lock up when you're done." I told her, pushing away from the wall and stepping out the door.
In a world that's not my home,
"Tommy," I froze in the doorway, not turning around to face her. "I…thank you." She said. I frowned and turned around, giving her a confused look. "For saving me. From Hunter." She clarified, her body tense.
"You know I'd do anything for you, Girl." I told her, not holding anything out of my voice when I said it. I was too tired to stay guarded. Jude just stared back at me, an unreadable expression in her eyes. I gave her a small, sad smile, left the studio.
Cos I'll be gone,
I walked through hospitality and turned off a couple lights, leaving only the one nearest to the kitchenette on for her and headed back down the hall to lock the alley door I came through. I'd leave through the front door and go back home.
Until forever
My footsteps echoed through the hall and I headed towards the back of the studio. I made sure the door was shut properly and secured the lock, jiggling it a couple times before satisfied.
I'll be home,
"Tommy?" I heard Jude say, her voice cracking.
until my name is instance,
I turned around, startled by her voice. One look at her and my heart broke. Tears were falling down her face and she looked so…fragile. Her eyes were pleading with me and I didn't know exactly what they were pleading for, but I knew I couldn't leave her like this.
Oh, and we will never be alone,
Jude moved toward me, a sob escaping her throat and she threw her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder. I automatically wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head before whispering words of comfort in her ear.
Goodbye my Broken Sunday
We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. I loved the feel of her in my arms. The way her body fit perfectly into mine. How she made me feel complete and like a better man than I really am. I stroked reached up and stroked her hair, which felt like fine silk beneath my calloused fingers. Her tears had long since soaked my shoulder and I didn't care. It was selfish, but I just wanted to keep her with me like this for all time.
You won't leave me lonely
Jude sniffed and stepped out of our embrace, leaving me disappointed and suddenly cold without her in my arms. "Tommy, I," She was cut off by a shrill ringing from her pants pocket. I sighed as she pulled it out and answered it without looking at the caller ID.
Cos I can't go on
I looked down at the floor as she talked, not listening to the words, but how she spoke them. She sounded…cheerful. Almost happy. A complete difference from moments ago and it broke my heart. I suddenly knew exactly how she felt the many times I pretended like nothing was going on between us.
You won't leave me broken,
"Jamie, I'll be home soon." She said, sounding exasperated. I snapped my head up at that. Jamie? Jamie Andrews? I felt jealousy wash over me that he could make her so happy with just a phone call. I use to have that. But I threw it away when my past came back to bite me in the ass. Of course she had moved on, I scolded myself. You didn't expect her to wait around did you? She was over me.
In a world that's not my home
But I wasn't over her. I watched her sadly for a long moment, fully realizing that I had lost her. I lost my girl and I had no one to blame but myself.
Cos I'll be gone
I brushed past her, suddenly unable to stand being able to look at her. Oh, how the tables have turned on you, a voice in the back of my head taunted.
"Tommy!" Jude called after me, but I ignored her, not able to get to the door fast enough.
Until forever
I felt trapped here. I needed to get out and get away from G Major, its haunting memories and Jude.
I'll be home
I desperately needed a drink and I couldn't get home fast enough to get one.
Until my name is instance
"Tommy, wait!" I heard Jude's voice from behind me. Never able to fight her, I stopped and let her come up behind me.
"What?" I snapped, my voice harsher than I meant, but I really didn't care.
"Hunter," She said, her voice low and tentative. "Was he the reason you broke up with me?" She asked, her voice shaking as she asked the question. I sighed and turned around to face her.
"I was trying to protect you." I stated, repeating the same words I told her the other day. This time, she actually looked like she believed me.
Oh, and we'll never be alone
Jude walked up to me, standing toe to toe, staring directly in my eyes. "Do you still love me?" She asked, her eyes searching mine.
"I'll always love you." I told her sadly. It didn't matter if I loved her. She had moved on…moved on back to Jamie Andrews. The safe boy-next-door.
Goodbye
Jude smiled at me and I felt myself grow confused. She placed her hands on my shoulders and popped herself onto the balls of her feet and kissed me passionately. I felt my arms to circle around her waist and pulling her to me. I smiled into her kiss for a moment and then I wasted no time kissing her back just as passionately.
My Broken Sunday