Ellie is the last person Sean expects to see as he exits the terminal gate. In all the times he's imagined coming home, he's seen Emma. Then came her letters and as Kelly entered the picture, Emma gradually faded from his homecoming scene. Still, he always figured Jay might be there, or at least Spike and Snake. He's been wrong on every single account and it's a smack in the face.
"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen your hair this short." Ellie greets him, shuffling awkwardly.
She feels stupid and out of place. What is she supposed to say? Hi, how was Afghanistan? Oh, really, my dad just came back, too. Yeah, he's gone insane. She's a fish out of water and the rubber bands on her wrists are soon meeting her skin.
"Yeah, it's growing back though. You should have seen it when they first buzzed it." Sean rubs his head as if to prove a point. He can't imagine what would bring her here. After the party, after everything they've gone through, everything he's done, it has to be something big.
Ellie doesn't know if she's supposed to hug him, or stand idly by. She chooses a forced smile and finger tips ghosting over his arm. She isn't aware of the proper greeting to give an ex boyfriend in general, but she is especially clueless when bearing bad news. Why hadn't anyone else come? If she'd seen Emma, or Jay, or anyone she would have just left.
When Ellie heard Sean was coming home, she'd had a gut feeling that no one would be there. Unfortunately, she'd been right. Clearly, no one wanted to tell him, not his ex or even his best friend. Ellie can't believe the other girl hadn't shown up. After all, she is the news. Emma and her unending selfishness.
God, how did Ellie sucker herself into this?
"So, what are you doing here?" Sean inquires, trying not to sound impatient.
He hasn't seen her since that ill fated party, and he hadn't really expected to. His ears have picked up the sound before his eyes even register the movement, the furious snapping of elastics against flesh. He can already see the welts starting to form. It isn't good news, Sean knows that for a fact. Just by the way the corner of her mouth twitches, he's almost afraid to ask.
"I'm starving. Let's get some food, and we can catch up." Ellie's stomach is lined with battery acid but somehow a restaurant seems better than delivering the message right there.
"Uh, whatever, I guess. I don't have a car here, Jay's storing it-" Sean starts, not knowing if he can handle an entire meal of this. Maybe, he can just get her to spit it out.
"It's fine, I have a car. I'll bring us. I can give you a ride after too. You can save your cab fare." Too much comes out, rushed and too high. She looks away to avoid Sean's grimace.
"Okay." He doesn't know what he's agreeing to, but soon he's in her car, his bags in the trunk.
Sean hates the way she drives. Who speeds up at a yellow light, only to break instead of going through? He swears that he's seen his life flash before his eyes more in one ten minute car ride than in his entire tour of duty.
The radio is too loud, like she's been trying to drown out the noise inside her head. Yet, the silence between them feels deafening; it's the pressure in a gun and if it doesn't go off, they'll both explode like human fireworks. Sean decides against being crushed by suspense and turns the dial to lower the noise. He watches her body stiffen and figures he might as well pull the trigger. What does he have to lose?
"You know, you can just tell me now, El. We don't have to play this stupid game." Sean states as they pull up to Ellie's favorite spot; a twenty-four hour diner.
"I want something to eat." She murmurs, sliding out of the car. The old nickname breathes new life into her memories. Ellie needs to shake them away before she loses her nerve and tells him right there; she's seen his temper and doesn't want to be paying for a new car window.
Sean stands outside for a few minutes, trying to gather his thoughts. It's a completely different world back in Canada and the shock of his one member greeting party makes the feeling even more surreal. Eventually, he forces himself to calm down. He doesn't want to get riled up over nothing, but he's started to wonder if someone's dead.
By the time Sean enters the building, Ellie is already seated, perusing a menu.
"Let me guess. You're going to order breakfast." He says as he slides into his seat across from her.
"Am I that predictable?" She nervously laughs.
"Yeah, kinda." Sean shrugs.
The tension is awkward, and why wouldn't it be? He'd left her for Emma, who hasn't even bothered to come meet him. He plans on heading to the Simpson household after this awkward exchange ends. He figures Emma will be around; she'd written that she'd left university, and if she isn't, he'll call her.
"What can I get for you?" The waiter who's name tag boasts 'Mike,' inquires.
"I'll have a veggie omelet, please. Pan fries and wheat toast, with orange juice." Ellie closes her menu, glancing at Sean.
"A cheeseburger and fries." He's been craving a good burger and his stomach had been growling at him the entire plane ride. The tiny pretzel package from the plane had not sufficed.
"And anything to drink?"
"Chocolate milk." The waiter gives him a look, but if Sean Cameron has one thing, it's a stare that can reduce an iceberg into a lake.
"Really?" After the waiter leaves Ellie looks at him, her eyebrows raised in amusement.
"I like chocolate milk. In case you don't remember." Sean simply smirks.
"Well, clearly, the military hasn't changed you much." Like she'd forgotten.
"So, how's your folks? Is your dad back yet?" Sean asks, clearly changing the subject. He figures they need an icebreaker if he's ever going to get out of here.
"Um, yeah. Not too good, I guess. Dad's in the hospital and Mom's not taking it too well." Her hand goes back to her wrist, the bands in motion once more. She doesn't want to talk about her family, they aren't here for that.
"El, I'm sorry. What happened, is he okay?"
"Can you not call me that?" She snaps. "He has PTSD. I'd rather not talk about it." He lost the right to nicknames when he left her for a self absorbed skeleton. She's moved on from the betrayal but the memory remains.
"Yeah, sure. Sorry." Sean wasn't expecting two letters to set her off, but what does he know these days? Clearly, he's a man in the dark.
"Look, Sean. Obviously, I'm not here to catch up. I don't know why I'm here, actually. I guess I'm just the only one that has the guts to tell you." Ellie pauses, her fingers drumming on the table.
"Emma's married." She's surprised she's been able to blurt it out but she doesn't know what reaction to expect from him. The one she gets, well, it wasn't on her list.
"Yeah, alright, who'd she marry? Kelly?" Sean laughs like he's heard the best joke. It has to be a joke. Emma's too young to get married, she has too many goals.
Plus, who would she marry?
"No, Sean, not Kelly." Ellie tells him slowly, trying to keep her tone even. The laughter, it's thrown her off.
"Who then?" He demands; she looks so serious.
"Spinner." It sounds like a bad pun, even coming from her own lips, but it's reality.
Sean snorts and bursts out laughing once more. Ellie had him going for a minute but she's blown it with Spinner. At least she hadn't dragged out her strange little joke. What a ridiculous thought. He tries to imagine it, but fails. Sean takes a sip from his water glass before he starts speaking again.
"Really, you're hilarious." He tells her, continuing to chuckle. However, when Ellie doesn't crack a smile after several seconds, it dies down.
"You're fucking kidding me." Sean's eyes widen in disbelief.
"Afraid not." She shakes her head.
"No, she would have told me. Someone would have told me." He would've gotten a call, a letter, a god damned personalized visit from the bride and groom. Emma wasn't cruel enough to leave him in the dark, wouldn't let him stumble around blindly once he came home.
"She didn't, but I am. I'm sorry you had to find out this way." Ellie states. This is the truth and there's no way around it. She understands his hurt, but he needs to realize she is in no way kidding.
"This is bullshit! You're wrong, Emma would have told me." He yells, losing control.
The silverware is left clattering as Sean slams his fists on the table. He rises up from his seat, leaving the diner at such a quick pace that he's at the exit by the time Ellie has gotten into the aisle. Every head has turned to their table and she can feel eyes on her through the glass windows as she jogs outside after him.
"Sean, listen! Wait, just calm down. How are you going to get home?" She didn't want it to happen like this. Ellie had planned to break the news slowly, carefully, but instead has torn it off like a band aid. God, he had to bring up her family, what a ridiculous catalyst. If he didn't ask any questions, she's sure she could have kept her composure. Maybe then, things would've gone the way she'd imagined.
"I'll figure it out." He's at her car taking his bags out of the popped trunk. Sean is furious, confused and completely thrown for a loop. He smashes his bags onto the pavement, blinded with a driving need to get away. Emma couldn't be married. Yeah, the letters had stopped, but what did that prove? That she's been busy. Ellie isn't even a part of their group, clearly she's gotten the wrong information. Sean would clear it up and he and Emma would laugh about it later.
"I can bring you. Really, it's no problem. Just let me go pay-" Ellie begins. He can't just walk to wherever he's going. She doesn't know where he's staying, he could be clear across the city for all she knows. Sean is a part of her past and maybe he doesn't deserve her kindness, but she can't help but feel bad for him. Ellie opens her mouth to continue, but is cut off.
"I said, I'll figure it out." Sean pauses, digging into his pockets. "This should cover it." He shoves a wadded up bill into her hand. "My treat." He sneers, beginning to walk away from the diner.
"Sean!" When he doesn't bother to even turn around Ellie sighs and begins to smooth out the bill. She isn't going to chase after him, he's abandoned her once again. Somehow, it feels like it's Wasaga Beach all over again.
What a great way to start off my week.
Ellie turns and walks back into the building, sliding back into her seat. She isn't going to let the food go to waste, even if she feels like she's been punched in the stomach. Ellie gazes over the table at the glass of chocolate milk. Reaching over, she brings the beverage towards her and takes a long, slow sip. She stares out the window, sucking on the straw and watching Sean's back as he slowly disappears from view.
God, I'm too old for this shit.