'It's been a long day without you my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again...'
Sam takes the towel off of the counter and dries her face and the takes a breath before turning and opening the door. Daniel is standing outside with his arms folded across his chest.
"You know you didn't have to drag yourself out of bed..."
Sam cuts him off, "So I should just have stayed home and not come to honor him? You know I couldn't do that."
"I know, but Janet will be here soon and I doubt that she will be too happy about you being out and about feeling like this."
Sam sighs and follows him to the living room. As she sits down on the couch there is knock at the door.
"Will you be okay for a minute?" Daniel asks.
"Yeah."
He moves around the few people in his living room and makes his way to the door. When he opens it Janet and Teal'c enter the room.
"Thanks for coming," Daniel says.
"Of course; I know we're supposed to be ready to handle loosing someone but it's just so hard when it's someone that we all care so much about..." Janet's voice breaks slightly when she sees Sam sitting alone on the couch.
"O'Neill was a great warrior indeed. His presence will be greatly missed," Teal'c says as Janet lays a hand on Daniels arm then moves over to Sam. She sits down next to her friend.
"Oh Janet, I can't believe he's gone," Sam says, a tear sliding down her cheek.
The women embrace for several minutes until finally pulls away. She takes a deep breath to calm herself and dabs a tissue under her eyes.
"I just can't help be feeling like things might have ended differently if I had been with them on the mission."
"Don't go there Sam. You were under doctor's orders to stay home and get over the flu; which I have noticed you are still showing signs of, so as soon as this is over strait home for you."
Sam looks down, "Okay; it's just that I never get sick..."
"That doesn't make this your fault."
"I know. I just wish I could have been there for him."
Janet nods sympathetically as Daniel steps into the center of the room and clears his throat.
"I'd like to thank you all for coming. I have always felt that a simple funeral is never enough when you loose someone who is close to you, so I asked all of you, Jack's closest friend and the ones he considered his family, to come remember him before the funeral this afternoon. I would like it if we could all share memories about Jack as a way to honor him and his life. I thought I would start. When I first met Jack O'Neill I could tell he couldn't stand me, but it wasn't personal," Daniel tells the well known story of the first trip thru the gate. As he draws near the end his voice fades slowly into silence. He takes a breath and continues speaking.
"Over the years we have become friends and I will greatly miss his friendship. To Jack," Daniel says raising his glass.
A course of "To Jack" rings around the room as people lift their drinks.
Hammond moves closer to the center of the room, "Jack was more than just the leader of a great team; he was my second-in-command for many years and a long time friend. We often would talk about what we thought would happen when we retired and Jack would laugh and say we were too important and we would never be allowed to retire. Though he never said anything I knew him well enough to know that when that day came for him he would have been up at some little cabin in the woods fishing in a lake where there were no fish to disturb his afternoon."
A few people chuckle as Hammond sits down on a chair.
"O'Neill was a brave warrior till the end and he was my friend. He offered me a home when I had none, for that I will always be grateful," Teal'c says simply.
Sam sits quietly as person after person talks about Jack until she is the only one who hasn't said anything. She takes a deep breath and stands.
"Colonel O'Neill was many things throughout his life. He was a soldier, a leader, a rock when you needed it, a voice of reason and even though he didn't like to admit it he was a good listener when you needed someone to talk to. He was a friend to each of us in this room and many more though his life. In a way he will live on though us. Colonel, you will be forever in our hearts and minds."
A quiet murmur sounds around the room as Sam takes her seat and Daniel stands.
"General Hammond asked me to take care of arranging the funeral for Jack so at 3 o'clock we will be meeting at the church with anyone who would like to join us to say our final goodbye. Thank you for sharing your memories. Feel free to stay for a while longer."
Janet stands, "Did you drive here?"
Sam looks at her, "No, Daniel picked me up from my house. I didn't think it would be wise for me to drive given how I have been feeling."
"Well at least you made one smart choice today. And before you say anything, I think the Colonel would have been honored by your presence here," Janet says. "But I think you should go home and get some sleep. Let me drive you."
Too tired to argue, Sam nods and stands. As she does Daniel walks over to them.
"Thank you both for being here. Sam if you need anything you know you can always call me anytime, day or night."
"Thanks Daniel."
A short while later Janet parks her car in front of Sam's house.
"Would you like me to walk you to the door?"
"Janet, I'm just sick, not disabled."
"Okay, just checking. If you don't feel better by tomorrow morning let me know. I may want to give you another check up."
"Alright Doc. I'll call you tomorrow."
Sam gets out of the car and walks to her front door. As she pulls her keys out a slow rain starts to fall. She opens the door then turns and waves at Janet before stepping inside.
She closes the door as Janet's car pulls away and leans her back against it, closing her eyes and listening to the silence. After a moment she feels a tear roll down her cheek. Straitening herself she walks slowly toward the kitchen but stops short as memories flood into her mind.
She hears humming as she walks into the kitchen. A smile plays on her lips as she sees Jack standing at the stove with his back to her. He turns to face her holding a pan in one hand, spatula in the other, and her pink apron around his waist.
"Mornin', you hungry?" he asks.
"After last night you should know the answer to that question", she replies.
Slowly Sam sinks to the floor as a wave of sobs break free. She leans against the wall with one shoulder as her head hangs as tears start falling. She wraps her arms around herself as her body shudders. After several minutes she is able to choke back the sobs and wipe the tears from her face. She takes a shaky breath followed by two more before moving to she finds herself on her feet and moving through her house. She goes to her room and opens the closet. Taking a breath to steady herself she begins taking out Jack's uniforms and laying them on her bed. Once she is finished she picks up her phone and dials Daniels number then waits for him to answer.
"Hi Sam, are you okay?"
"I'm as fine as I can be. Are you busy? I mean after the service of course."
"No, do you need something?"
"I could use your help with something."
"Okay, I'll come by your house after the graveside."
Sam drops her head, "I feel like I should be there."
There is a moment of silence before Daniel speaks again.
"How long will it take you to get ready?"
"Not long."
"Be ready and I'll pick you up in about twenty minutes. Janet called a few minutes ago and said that she was called back to the SGC for an emergency team recall so she won't be able to make it to the service."
"Thank you Daniel."
Sam hangs up and changes out of her black dress and into her dress blues. As she stands in front of the mirror and checks herself she notices that her uniform is fitting tighter than it should.
"As soon as I'm over this flu I need to get back on my workout schedule," she thinks. As she tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear she hears a knock at her front door. Taking a deep breath she leaves the bedroom and walks quickly to open the door. Daniel is standing before her in a blue suit.
"You ready?" he asks his voice soft but steady.
Sam nods once, afraid to speak for fear she will break down.
Daniel walks quietly beside her to his car. Once she is in he closes the door and walks around the front to the driver side. He climbs in and starts the engine before speaking.
"I think I should warn you before we get to the chapel, Sarah will be accepting Jack's flag since he had no siblings and his parents have both passed."
Sam nods, "I understand."
"I knew you would but I wanted to give you a heads up."
"I'm just surprised that you were able to find her to even ask her."
"Well it wasn't easy. She got re-married a couple of years ago."
"I know."
Daniel looks at Sam out the corner of his eye, "You did?"
"Yeah, the Colonel mentioned it once."
"I didn't know till I called her. She said she and Jack hadn't spoken at all in at least two years or more."
Sam clears her throat but doesn't respond so Daniel lets the conversation lapse until they arrive at the chapel.
"Do you want me to drop you off by the door?" he asks, breaking the silence.
"Sure."
Sam waits till the car comes to a stop before getting out and then she makes her way into the small chapel. As she enters the small auditorium she stops dead in her tracks.
At the front of the room is a Chaplin standing between a flag draped coffin and 6 men in full dress uniform. Sam takes a breath and starts walking down the isle toward the Chaplin. As she approaches him he salutes her and she reciprocates.
"I'm sorry for your loss Ma'am", he says in a somber voice.
"Thank you," Sam says. She moves toward the coffin stopping beside it.
She stands quietly for several minutes when she hears someone behind her. She turns to see Sarah.
"Hi, you must be Major Carter."
"That must mean that you're Sarah. I'm sorry..."
Sarah holds her hand up, "For my loss? Jack and I hadn't even spoken in over two years. If anything I should be saying that to you. I know you worked closely with him for several years and I know the bond that can form. He also mentioned a woman the last time we spoke; I assumed he meant you though he didn't say as much."
"He was a great man and a good friend," Sam says simply, wondering what Jack had said to his ex-wife that would leave the kind of impression that she would remember after so long.
"So how far along are you?" Sam hears Sarah ask. She shakes her head slightly to clear it.
"Excuse me?"
Sarah nods toward Sam's stomach, "How far along?"
"I'm not..." Sam stops.
Sarah watches her quietly for a moment before speaking again, "I'm sorry, I must have misread this. Well I am very sorry for your loss Major."
Sam watches as Sarah walks toward the man Sam assumes must be her new husband. Taking a deep breath she moves toward where Daniel is sitting.
As she sits down Daniel looks at her, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
"What were you and Sarah talking about?"
"Jack."
Daniel looks at Sam for a long moment but before he can say anything the Chaplin clears his throat and begins the service.
Sam sits listening without hearing a single word. Soon she finds herself standing as the 6 uniformed men carry the coffin down the isle and out the door, the flag on it rippling slightly as they walk. Outside they place it in the back of a black horse drawn hearse, the horses themselves both draped in Air Force blue. As the horses start off the sound of their hooves on the pavement echo in the silence. Sam follows the hearse on foot with other officers. As she walks she feels someone fall into step with her. She turns her head to see General Hammond, a single tear starting to fall as the walk. She turns her eyes back to the hearse as it comes to a stop and the honor guard opens the back and pulls the box out of the back. Sam blinks hard to fight back the tears. When she opens her eyes again she is facing the grave, Jack's coffin sitting over it; Hammond's voice breaks through the buzzing in her head long enough for her to know that he is honoring their friend. She takes a deep breath as 21 shots ring out. And another as she watches the flag being folded while the coffin is being lowered to the slow bugle plays 'Taps'. Soon the flag is folded and being handed to General Hammond who turns and slowly walks to where Sarah is sitting. He kneels and says something Sam can't hear over the roaring sound in her ears. Then time seems to stop as she watches him hand the flag to Sarah, who takes it and lays it in her lap. Unable to take it anymore Sam turns and starts to walk away when she feels a hand on her arm. She turns to see Sarah's face. She hears the sound of Sarah's voice but before she can process the words Sarah places something in her arms then turns and walks away with her husband. Gathering her courage Sam looks down to see Jack's flag. Tears begin to stream down her cheeks as she holds it to her heart and sinks to the ground. As she sits crying and holding the flag she feels strong arms wrap around he and a hand lies gently on her head.
"Let it out," Daniels voice comes softly to her.
She continues to cry for several minutes. Once she finally is able to catch her breath she looks into Daniels face.
"Let's get you home," he says as he helps her up and leads her to his car.
AN: Hi all, so I know I haven't put anything up in a while but I am going to try to be better about posting updates in the future. I'd love to get your feedback on this story so far and I will try to have chapter 2 ready soon.