How Wario stole Christmas
Every Toad down in Toad-Town like Christmas a lot…
But Wario, who lived just north of Toad-Town, did not!
Wario hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, his shoes were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all
May be that his heart is two-sizes too small.
But whatever the reason, his shoes or his head,
He stared at his television, his eyes burning red
With anger as he witnessed on his t.v. screen
A rather bright and jolly scene.
All the Toads were in and out of a store
With toys, goodies and prizes galore.
"Look at all this!" said the clerk on screen,
"This is the biggest sale I've ever seen!
So, come and grab a shopping cart
And come on down to the bargain mart!"
Wario turned off the T.V. and rose to his feet
And groaned a groaned that was very unsweet.
For he now knew that the Toads were all full of cheer
And preparing another Christmas this year.
"They'll be driving me crazy!" Wario snarled with a sneer,
"Soon it'll be Christmas! It's practically here!"
And he groaned with his fingers nervously drumming,
"I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For tomorrow he knew all the Toad Girls and Boys
Will awake bright and early and rush for their toys.
And then, all the noise, Noise, NOICE, NOICE!
If there's one thing he hated, it's the noise, Noise, NOICE, NOICE!
And then the Toads, young and old, well sit down for a feast.
And they'll feast, and they'll feast, and they'll feast, Feast, FEAST, FEAST!
They'll feast on Toad Pudding and Rare Toad Roast Beast!
Roast Beast is a feast he couldn't stand in the least.
And then, they'll do something he hated most of all!
Every Toad in Toad Town, the tall and the small,
Will stand close together with church bells ringing.
They'll stand hand-in-hand and the Toads will start singing!
And they'll sing, and they'll sing, and they'll sing, Sing, SING, SING!
And the more Wario thought about the Toad Christmas sing,
The more Wario thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
Year after year I've put up with it now!
I must stop this Christmas from coming! But how?"
Then he got in idea.
In awful idea.
Wario had a wonderful, awful idea.
"I know just what to do!" Wario laughed in his throat,
And quickly made a Santa's hat and coat.
And he chuckled and clucked at his great, Wario trick.
With that coat and that hat, he looked just like Saint Nick!
"All I need is a reindeer." So Wario looked around.
But since reindeer were scarce, there were none to be found.
Did that stop Wario? Oh no! Wario simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, then I'll make one instead!"
So, he grabbed his motorcycle, and parts from old cars
And he built some fake antlers on top the handlebars.
Soon it was Christmas Eve and Wario got ready
And attached a trailer to his bike, nice and steady.
With a turnoff the key, the bike vroomed and roared
And Wario in his reindeer bike had soared
From his house all the way to Toad Town where
All the Toads were dreaming sweet dreams without care.
And Wario snuck to the first house on the square.
"This is Mario's house!" Wario said with a hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he when down the chimney; a rather tight pinch,
But if Santa can do it, Wario can in a cinch.
He got stuck only once, for a minute or two.
Then he snuck his head out the fireplace flue
Where the Mario Bros. stockings were hung in a row,
"These stockings" he said, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered, and he slunked with a smile most unpleasant
Around the whole room and took every present!
He stuffed them in bags and Wario very nimbly
Stuffed the bags, one-by-one, up the chimney.
Then he went to the kitchen and he took all the feast.
He took the Toad Pudding and he took the Roast Beast.
He cleared out the kitchen as quick as a flash!
Why, that Wario even took the last can of Toad Hash!
He shoved all the food up the chimney with glee,
"And now," grinned Wario, "I'll stuff up the tree!"
As he grabbed the tree with his big, strong hand
He heard the sound of a tired, young man.
He turned around fast to see Mario here,
Which seeing Saint Nicholas filled him with cheer.
He smiled and said, "Santa! You came to see me!
But, why are you taking my Christmas tree?"
But you know, Wario was so smart and so slink,
That he thought a lie and he though it up quick!
"Why, you see Mario," The fake Santa Clause lied,
"There's a light on this tree that would light on side!
And since I don't have any new lightbulbs right here
I'll take it to my workshop and fix it up there!"
Mario looked puzzled at what Santa did say,
But he shrugged and simply answered, "Okay."
So, Mario, took his sleepy head
Back to his room and back into bed.
And Wario, filled his villainous glee
Went back to work and stuffed up the tree.
And the last thing he took was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old lair.
On the wall he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food that was left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
And the did the same to all the Toad houses,
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other Toad mouses.
It was an hour 'til daybreak, all the Toads' sleeping tight
When Wario hurried to load up his bike.
He then drove his bike to the nearest mountain summit
And drove to the very tip-top to dump it!
"Those stupid Toads!" Wario evilly humming,
"There finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
And when they wake up, I know just what they'll do:
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then all the Toads will cry 'Boo-Hoo'!"
"That's a noise," Wario grinned, "That I simply must hear!"
So, he paused, and he put his hand to his ear.
And Wario did hear a sound raising over the snow.
It started in low; then it started to grow…
But the sound wasn't sad. Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so, but it was merry. VERY!
Every Toad in Toad Town, the tall and the small,
Were singing. Without any presents at all.
Wario hadn't stopped Christmas from coming. It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Wario with his feet ice-cold in the snow
Stood puzzling and puzzling, "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
He puzzled and puzzled and puzzled some more.
He puzzled so much that his puzzler was sore.
Then Wario thought of something he hadn't before.
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "Doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."
And what happened then? Well, in Toad Town they say
That Wario's small heart grew three sizes that day.
And once the true meaning of Christmas came through
Wario had the strength of ten Wario's! (plus two).
And now that his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He drove with his load through the bright morning light.
He drove into Toad Town and brought back their toys
And all the gifts back to the Toad girls and boys.
He brought everything back, all the food for their feast.
And he…
He himself!
Wario!
Carved the Roast Beast!
Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! So, did you like it? I've always been a fan of Dr. Seuss, so I took it upon myself to write a fanfic of a crossover with Mario characters and 'How the Grinch stole Christmas'. Now, I haven't seen the new one by Illumination, but I've heard mixed opinions about it. so, take that as you will.
Well, with this one out of the way, I wish you all a very merry Christmas and God bless you, my friends!