Disclaimer: I don't own The Last of Us.
"What the fuck is this?!"
The voice of the young girl who was like a daughter to him was enough to grab Joel's attention. She sounded as though she was in trouble. Instantly dropping what he was in the middle of doing, he darted out of the kitchen and into the lounge to go straight to her rescue.
"Ellie, are you alright?"
To Joel's surprise, he saw there was nothing endangering the fourteen-year old. She was standing in the middle of the room with her back to him. She turned around to gaze over her shoulder at her father figure, pointing towards what had just caused her to cry out loud.
"Joel…what is a tree doing in the house?"
Joel stared, taken aback by what Ellie was so staggered by. He averted his gaze towards what she was questioning him about. Towering above her, standing in the corner of lounge, was the thing that had brought a stunned exclamation out the auburn-haired girl.
It was a tall pine tree that was covered in twinkling lights and colourful decorations with a golden star sitting at the top.
"That?" Joel smiled softly. "That's a Christmas tree."
"A what tree?" Ellie asked, dumbfounded.
"A Christmas tree. That's what people put in their houses every Christmas."
The teenager stared at her father figure, not having a clue what he was walking about. "What's Christmas?"
"Why, Ellie!" Joel's eyes widened from how stunned he was upon being reminded that the young girl hadn't experienced a life like most her age did. "Christmas is a very special time of the year … and an exciting one for kids like you!"
"Why?"
Joel smiled again. He kneeled down so that he was eye-level with the small girl. He gazed at her softly, truly seeing her as his daughter, just as Sarah had been. It was about time she experienced what made such a time of the year so thrilling for children.
"Every Christmas, a jolly old guy travels around the world, delivering presents to all the children!"
Ellie's green eyes blinked. "What?!"
"Yep, that's right. When all the kids of the world are sleep, this chubby fella travels around the world, visiting each house to leave presents under the Christmas tree!"
The fourteen-year old's face scrunched up, glancing thoughtfully at the Christmas tree before turning back to her guardian. "How does he get all around the world?"
"With the help of his magical reindeer!"
"What?!"
"Yep! His reindeer fly through the sky, pulling him along in his sleigh full of gifts!"
Ellie furrowed her eyebrows as she disgusted what Joel was telling her. A man who leaves presents under indoor trees? Assisted by magical reindeer? The girl had never heard of such crazy things in all her young life.
"Well how does he get into people's houses to leave these presents?" she asked. "Does he have a key to every front door of every home?"
"He doesn't need one! All he has to do is go down the chimney!"
"Down the chimney?!"
"Yep! So we must remember to put out the fire before he comes, Ellie!" Joel chuckled as he ruffled the youth's hair. "We don't want him to burn, do we?"
Ellie stared at her father figure, trying to take in all that he had just told her. Joel beamed broadly at her. He highly believed she had never heard anything so wonderful in her life. She had been missing out on the fun concept of Christmas for far too long.
"So you're telling me…" Ellie queried, "that every year, a fat man travels around the world in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer, throws himself down the chimney of every house and leaves presents under these trees people keep indoors."
"That's right!" Joel nodded. "And it's all for kids like you!"
Ellie's face was blank as she gazed up at the important figure she saw as her father. Her mind was filled with thoughts of all he had just told her about what went on at this time of the year. She had never heard of such things before, having grown up without a proper childhood until he came into her life.
Finally, she smirked.
"That's fucking bullshit!"
"I'm sorry?!" Joel exclaimed in surprise.
"I know you like coming up with crazy crap to try to fuck with me, Joel – but can't you at least come up with something convincing?"
"Ellie-" Joel, began, but the teenager was already making her way out of the room.
"I thought your story about a truck that drives around playing music while selling ice cream was ridiculous! But you really expect me to believe something like this? I dunno where you're coming up with these ideas, Joel, but there's no way you can fool me with shit like that!"
Before Joel could say another word, Ellie disappeared into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind her. He listened to the sounds of her footsteps as she ran upstairs to her room. Shrugging, he made his way back into the kitchen to continue working on the Christmas pudding he had been in the middle of baking before their conversation.
A guy who flies around the world with magic reindeer and goes down chimneys to deliver presents, Ellie thought, snickering as she lay down on her bed. What's Joel gonna come up with next? A rabbit who also goes into houses every year to deliver chocolate eggs? A fairy who takes broken loose teeth and leaves money? So fucking stupid!
The end.