Authors note: I suck at names and summary's. I'm sorry about this. Sanji is definitely OOC. I do have an alternate happier ending to this, but I don't feel it ends the story as well. If you want it, review and let me know!

ON TO THE STORY

"Oh God, Zoro!" Sanji's back arched off the makeshift bed he had built with Zoro. The blond stroked himself a few more times and groaned as he came over his hand. While he was lost in his own orgasm, he did not fail to notice the man above him thrust a few more times, close his eyes, and hold motionless as he rode out his own ecstasy.

The cook kept his legs wrapped around his partners waist hold him close and letting his hands roam his back. He enjoyed this period of time after sex with the marimo. It wasn't very often he was allowed this contact after satisfaction had been achieved. No attention was returned to him, his rival, sometimes lover, seemingly to barely tolerate the gentle roaming hands as he stayed perfectly still, eyes still closed. He like to tell him self during these silent recoveries that Zoro like the attention, maybe even craved it, but he knew the whole time he was fooling no one, not even himself.

The green haired man always made sure he knew where they stood.

As the larger man pulled himself off and out of the him, the blond pulled out a cigarette and lite up. As the other man dressed, Sanji sighed to himself. He had no one to blame for his sadness. He couldn't blame the idiot, for he never lied to him about what their encounters were about. He could hardly blame his heart for falling in love with the idiot. That's what hearts did. They ignored all the common sense and sound advice your brain screams at it, to try and get you with who it felt was perfect for you. Good thing he was a romantic, or he might have fallen to self loathing. It was so very difficult to be with someone who you loved, but who didn't feel the same. No, he thought to himself, not difficult torturous. Oh, Zoro had feelings for him, they were nakama after all, but he did not love the blond. That is what was so painful.

The swordsman was finally fully dressed with his swords at his hip. Sanji noticed his smoke had burned out sometime ago, and threw the butt aside. He knows what he is about to do will only twist the knife in his heart some more, but he can't seem to avoid the pain.

"Oi, Marimo," he pauses until gray eyes were looking into his own blue ones, "maybe you can nap down here. I'm pretty tired, and we could sleep for a bit together before I have to start dinner." Shit, did he just sound desperate there? That sounded like when I was asking for real food after being rescued from that shitty rock. He revealed too much in his tone of voice. He can see it in the way those gray eyes are studying him. Looking him over from head to toe. Searching for clues as to his motives in asking for this. The blond's heart lurches as he see's those eyes harden, filling with resolve. His stomach twists as he anticipates what his love will say.

"No. No, Ero-cook. I don't think that is a good idea. Matter of fact, I don't think this" he waves his hand between the two of them,"is a good idea anymore."

The cook felt his eyes sting and turned to grab another cigarette to hide his struggle to contain the tears the wanted to spill and being so causally kicked out of the stupid marimo's bed. "You saying you don't enjoy this?" he questions as he gestures to his own body.

"Of course I do. I appreciate that you let me use you to release my tension. I think your getting too attached. I told you when we started this, and a number of times since, that I will not have any feelings for you beyond our nakamaship. My goal, my dream, my promise...this will always be the most important thing in my life. I can't put anything above that. A lover would interfere with my achieving that."

Sanji felt sick when Zoro said he used him to release tension. By the end of the little speech, he thinks he is going to be ill. He puts out his smoke, draws his knees up and rests his forehead on them. He can't stop the tears, but he can hide them.

After a few seconds to be sure his voice won't crack he tries one more time to convince his now ex-...sex buddie? Nakama with benefits? What ever they were not to end what ever it was.

"What if that lover knew your dream, your promise, would always come first? What if someone was willing to be second because he knew how important your goal was?"

"A lover deserves better. I wouldn't feel right being with someone that wasn't first in my heart. That is where a lover belongs. First in my heart, and at the forefront of my thoughts. When I'm ready for a lover, I want someone I would die for. Someone that I could relegate to second so easily wouldn't be someone I would want for a lover."

Zoro turns and walks to the door. He opens it and starts to leave but looks once more at his former bed partner. When he sees slim shoulders shaking in silent sobs, he feels the need to say one more thing.

"You're worth being first cook. I couldn't stand to make you second." With that he mercifully closes the door and leaves.

Blue eyes red with tears close as he falls to his side. He was telling the truth when he said he was tired. Now he felt like sleeping forever. Luffy wouldn't let him get away with that, but maybe for a few hours. Then his chest might hurt less, and the nausea would subside. He couldn't cook right now any way when the thought of food made him want to vomit.

Just a short nap, then he would feel better for sure.