This is what happens when I'm in the mood to write, don't know what to write and a sad song comes on my mp3

Based on Everytime by Britney Spears, well... the video anyway, except I changed the ending because I'm a horrible person like that...

I cried while writing this...

Everytime

Lovino frowned, staring out the window of the limousine. Having just got out of a tv interview, he was tired and just wanted to get back to the hotel and relax, cuddled up with his boyfriend.

He looked over at the man, talking on the phone and reached out and tried to get his attention.

Antonio brushed him off trying to talk on the phone in rapid Spanish.

Lovino huffed and threw his hands up in frustration. Lately Antonio had become distant and angry. It was rather annoying and Lovino was irritated that he couldn't figure out what had Antonio so mad.

He got off the phone just as they pulled up to the hotel. Lovino put on sun glasses and waited for his body guard to open the door for him and Antonio.

The singer climbed out of the car and looked down as they were bombarded with flashes and fans screaming all around them. Antonio grabbed Lovino's shoulders and tried to pulled him through the crowd, following the guards, who were trying to push the people back.

"Lovino!" they shouted. "I love you!" they screamed.

He was pulled back and jerked around as he was pulled into the building. The paparazzi tried to push their way in, but the guards held them back. One slipped through and Antonio growled. He grabbed up a bunch of magazines – of which Lovino's face were plastered across – and threw them at the man before the photographer was shoved out the door.

Lovino growled, "What the fuck was that, Antonio‽" he shouted once they were safe from the paparazzi and screaming fans.

"I'm tired." He gave his go to answer.

"Bull fucking shit! Are you always fucking tired, then? Because you've been acting like a pain in the ass for weeks now!"

"Lovino, I don't want to talk about it!" he snapped.

Lovino frowned and grabbed Antonio's shoulder, "Then when are you going to fucking talk to me about it‽ What the hell did I do to make you hate me‽"

"I don't hate you!" Antonio knocked his hand off his shoulder. "I hate them!" he shouted, picking up a trash can in the hall and throwing it. He kicked it and entered the hotel room.

The Italian winced and glared, running in after him. The door shut, "Why won't you fucking talk to me‽"

"I don't want to!"

"Talk to me!" Lovino demanded.

Antonio turned and frowned, his eyes dark, "I hate them! All the time, all it ever is is 'Lovino we love you', 'Lovino we want you', and 'Lovino let us interrupt every single thing you do to take pictures'!"

"That's not my fault! I can't control that shit!" Lovino countered.

"No, you can't! But I'm sick and fucking tired of not being able to going out and be normal people!" Antonio hissed, "I can't take you to the theater without people bombarding us, I can't go with you to the park without pictures, I can't even go to the store without rumors flying around because of the shit I'm buying!" he shouted, grabbing up a vase of flowers that had been sent to Lovino. He threw them against the wall, sending the glass and water everywhere.

Lovino flinched and backed up, "Fuck this, fuck you!" he shouted, "If you can't handle being there for me then maybe you shouldn't try! I want you gone when I get out of the bathroom." He said, turning and heading into the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him.

Antonio stood there, trembling. He walked over to the couch and sat down. He rubbed his face and sighed, not wanting to break up. He was just frustrated, too. The Spaniard growled and flipped the coffee table over. "I don't need him…" he whispered, "I don't need Lovino…"

The Italian stood in the bathroom, glaring at his reflection. He trembled and tears spilled onto his cheeks, "Fuck him…" he whispered, grabbing up the bottle of cologne. He threw it at the mirror and shattered them both. He sighed and turned. The man slipped and gasped in pain and his hit the floor. "Fuck!" he cried out. Tonight was just getting better and better…

He pushed himself up and rubbed his back lightly as he walked over to the bath which was made up for him prior to him getting to the room. He pulled off his clothing and sank into the water, letting the heat soothe his sore muscles and now sore back.

Lovino's head throbbed painfully and he winced. He reached back to rubbed his head and frowned, finding his hair was soaking wet already. "What the…?" he pulled his hand away and his vision dulled as he saw blood all over his hand, "Wha…?" he whispered, sinking into the water. He was so tired…

Antonio sat in the living room. He had to apologize… He got up and knocked on the bathroom door. When he got no answer he sighed, "Lovino…? Can I come in…?"

Still no answer.

Antonio felt unsettled and tried to open the door. However, it was locked. He knocked again, "Lovino, please open up… I want to talk now…"

When he still didn't get an answer, Antonio threw his weight into the door and busted it open. "Lovino‽" he shouted, running over to the tub, where Lovino was under the surface, unconscious. He saw the blood all over the side of the tub and gasped, "Lovino!"

He pulled him out of the water. "Help!" he screamed, "Help someone, please‽"

Antonio held him up, "Please be okay!" he whimpered. The guards ran in and called an ambulance immediately. They helped Antonio pull Lovino from the tub and tried to see if he was breathing.

It felt like eternity as the guards tried to give him CPR to clear his lungs. Finally, the ambulance came and with Lovino barely breathing, they carried him away on a stretcher, closely followed by Antonio.

In the ambulance, they hooked him up to a breathing tube and started checking his vitals. Antonio stared guiltily at him, blaming himself for this.

He was forced to wait in the waiting room when they ran Lovino up to ICU. He clenched his fist together, tears spilling, "Lovi…"

Lovino stared down at his body as they tried to restart his heart, which stopped beating. He blinked and started walking away, not wanting to see that. He wandered the halls and heard a baby cry. He tilted his head and walked to a room where a mother was holding her newborn.

A soft smile made its way onto his face as watched the happy mother coddle the child. He turned to leave and wandered the halls again. Soon, he found himself in the waiting room of the hospital, where he saw a doctor approach his boyfriend, "Antonio…?"

He watched Antonio's eyes widen and then his face twist in heartbreaking pain, "No! No! No!" the man shouted, falling back into the chair. He began sobbing hard, mumbling to himself.

The doctor patted his shoulder and went back through the doors.

Lovino knelt in front of Antonio. He placed his hands on his face and leaned in to kiss him softly one last time, "I'm sorry…" he whispered softly, "I didn't mean to hurt you like this…"

Antonio just sobbed, rubbing his face, "I need you, Lovi…" he whispered, "I need you so badly… Please don't be gone… please…" he pleaded to no one in particular, unaware of his love's spirit before him.

Lovino licked his lips and kissed Antonio's forehead before standing up, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" he whispered.

The Spaniard remained there, crying until he physically couldn't anymore, "Please…" he continued begging, "Please don't let him be dead, please… please God… I need him…"

Eventually, Antonio left the hospital.

The funeral was held later that week. Antonio stood there, longer than anyone else. It rained hard, the sky crying when Antonio no longer could. He dropped to his knees and stared at the name written across the headstone, "I need you… please… please stop haunting me…" he whispered, "I see you when I close my eyes, when I sleep, when I dream… please stop… It hurts so much… I can't hold you like that… God, Lovi… without you… the world feels so empty… I hate myself… I'm so sorry… It should have been me… You didn't deserve this…" he choked, finally crying again, "I'm sorry! I love you! I love you so damn much it hurts! I need you… please let this be a dream… please… please… Let this be some sort of punishment for hurting you…"

Lovino gently touched his shoulder, "Toni, it's okay… I forgive you… forgive me… for hurting you…I love you so much…" he whispered softly, hugging his shoulders before fading away.

Antonio sat there, the numbness fading slightly. He smiled softly and stood up, "I miss you so much Lovi… I love you…" he turned to walk away, after blowing a final kiss.

~Lady Pyrien