Mr. Fanservice

Sorry if you read my other stories and I haven't updated them. Zexal has been an absolute jackass regarding Shark. I'm going to have to wait ages before they sort this mess out and I can update Dissidia.

Anyway….

I can no longer call myself a teenager, it's official, I'm in my twenties now. It doesn't feel as different as I thought though. Hell, the fact that I realized I could download a Shiny Palkia and Giratina hit me harder, sorta. Probably because I missed Dialga.

Nah, I enjoyed myself, though. Had an entire weekend mainly to myself and a few friends.

Enough about me, I figured I'd do a slightly late birthday fic for myself, and spoil fans everywhere. We've got a one-shot starring Quattro (I am NOT calling him IV), in one of his many hunts for Numbers, but one Number in particular…

"Good afternoon, and your name is?" asked the Asian Champion.

The red-haired girl was awestruck by the man before her, and stuttered as she spoke. "M-My name is Jane, Master Quattro!"

Quattro chuckled, and shook his head. "No need for the "master" honorific, just call me Quattro, it's quite all right," he said gently. He bent over the piece of paper. "To…Jane, with best wishes for the life ahead; Quattro," he muttered as he wrote the words down in a flowing script. He handed the girl the piece of paper. "There you are, Miss Jane," he said warmly.

As the girl left the autograph table, Quattro caught a glimpse of several maroon clad bikers loitering around in the corner. He didn't think much of it as he greeted another of his fans and signed a slip of paper. "Have a nice day, Stephanie," he said.

Quattro took another slip of paper from a brown haired girl that was closer to his age than many of his fans. "Good afternoon," he said. "What is your name, miss?"

"Juliet," she said breathlessly.

"Well, Miss Juliet, I hope you're having an excellent day," said Quattro with a smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of dark pink.

"Anything you want me to say in particular?" asked Quattro, causing Juliet to jump.

"I-"

"Within reason, of course," chuckled Quattro as his brother, Trey, sat beside him. "Good morning, brother," he said to Trey.

"Hey," said Trey quietly.

"Master Quattro?" asked Juliet, obviously hoping that she wasn't going to miss her autograph.

"Just Quattro," replied Quattro, holding up his hand to stop her talking.

"Right," replied Juliet. "Um…asking to be your number one fan would be a bit much right?"

"I'm afraid so," admitted Quattro. "Number two is completely unfilled though," he added as an afterthought.

"Woah! Really?!" cried Juliet in joy.

Quattro laughed. "Here," he said, starting to write. "To Juliet, my number two fan, I hope you have enjoyed being spoiled; Quattro," he muttered, scribbling it down. "Here you are, Miss Juliet," he said, handing the slip to her. "Trey," he commented as she took it.

He was spot on; Juliet took one look at the words and fainted on the spot, just in time for Trey to catch her.

"Keep her safe 'til she wakes up, would you Trey?" asked Quattro. He looked at the bikers.

"I've got some business to take care of."

. .

Charlton Draco spat on the ground as he walked outside. "You sure that was one of them?" he said.

His gang members didn't respond, the respectful tone in which he talked was not one that Draco reserved for the gang members, but the tone which he used when dealing with their mysterious ally.

The gang members watched Draco nod, before he smacked his fists together. "Right, you whelps!" he snapped, and the gang bolted upright, standing at attention. "We've scoped out our target, so we hit him tonight, and if you see a Number card in his deck, take it from him and bring it to me!"

"Why don't I just save you the trouble?" asked a mocking voice.

Draco's gang members swung around, but Draco kept his back to Quattro, who was standing at the alleyway entrance with his arms folded.

"Well, well," commented Draco. "Mr Quattro. We are honoured, aren't we boys?" he said sarcastically, turning around and bowing.

"So, I hear that you want to see if I have a Number card," said Quattro. "Well then, I can't believe that I'm saying this, but there's a more pressing issue at mind – you guys came and left my autograph signing without a single autograph!"

Draco laughed. "And if we did? We were there for other reasons."

"Hey, it's cool!" replied Quattro. "I'll just have to give you something other than an autograph – how about a shot at the Asian Champion? After all, I just love to spoil my fans; it gives me the biggest thrills."

Trey walked out just in time to hear this statement, and looked at his brother worriedly.

The biker smiled, and he pulled out his customized duel disk and Duel Pad, stylized with a demonic face. "I'm gonna wipe the floor with you, you little runt!" he crowed. The other bikers grinned beside him as he slid the disk onto his wrist.

"Now, now, you can't go too fast, or I won't be able to spoil the fans!" laughed Quattro, throwing a red blade into the air. He slid a gauntlet onto his arm, and caught the blade in the gauntlet, causing it to separate into fragments and reshape into several pieces.

Draco touched a button on his sunglasses, and a white light erupted from the left lens. The other bikers did likewise.

Quattro covered his left eye, and a scar-like purple tattoo appeared around it, and his eye bulged as the iris changed from red to blue, while a shield shaped crest emblazoned with a flame glowed purple on his right hand.

Draco looked at bit unnerved at this casual display of power.

Behind them, Trey also caused a tattoo to appear around his eye, his one an orange flower shape that changed to colour of his eye from green to red.

Green digits began to rise through the air, and information screens began to appear as a mechanical voice declared, "Authentic Reality Vision Link established."

"Let's duel!" they cried, drawing their starting hands.

"The challenger takes the first turn!" declared Draco, drawing a card. He slid a card into his Duel Pad. "I play a continuous spell card, Water Hazard!" he declared. The card image appeared in a flurry of yellow squares, and waves began to boil behind Draco.

"This card lets me special summon one level four or below water-attribute monster from my hand as long as I control no monsters," declared Draco. He placed a card on his disk. "I'll special summon Iron Shark Serpent from my hand," he said.

A rust-coloured sea serpent appeared from the waves, lined with sharp spines and with a second row of teeth in its jaws. (1600/0)

"Next I'll summon Double-Finned Shark!" he said, placing another card on his disk. A twister of water appeared, and a maroon-skinned shark with several fins and twin tails appeared. (1000/1200)

Quattro was a little surprised. Shark monsters?, he thought in confusion. That certainly brings back memories.

"Now I'll overlay my level four Iron Shark Serpent and Double-Finned Shark!" called Draco. The two monsters became spheres of blue energy, and swirled into the sky. AS a red spiral portal opened at Draco's feet, he declared. "I use these two water monsters to build the overlay network!" The energy spheres spiralled into the portal, and then it twisted shut, releasing a wave of energy.

"I xyz summon Bahamut Shark!" crowed Draco. A blue-skinned shark-like dragon appeared, with six long fins in place of wings and large hands, a pair of blue orbs floating around it. (2600/2100)

"Tch," muttered Quattro angrily. "Not a Number card."

Draco started. "Do you mean this?" he asked, holding up a glowing, black bordered card. A glowing red number "32" appeared on the hand that held the card.

Quattro just laughed, much to the man's surprise. "Oh yes, that's much better!" he crowed. "Now I know that this isn't for nothing, and I can get down to spoiling my fans."

Draco spat on the ground. "Upper-class whelp…" he muttered. "It's still my turn!" He removed one of the cards from beneath Bahamut Shark. "I activate Bahamut Shark's special ability!" he said. "By using one overlay unit, it calls forth a rank three or lower water attribute xyz monster from my extra deck!" Draco raised his hand. "Go, Divine Soul!" he called.

One of the blue orbs that floated around Bahamut Shark flew into its mouth, and the sea serpent breathed a column of energy into the ground, glowing brightly as a portal opened up in the ground, and a green scaled turtle-like beast crawled out of it.

"I call out my Armour Kappa in defense mode!" said Draco. (400/1000) "Then I play one card facedown and end my turn!" Yellow squares formed the card image.

Quattro was unimpressed. Tch. Trying to protect his monster with Armour Kappa like that…useless, he thought. He put the fleeting thought out of his head as he drew his next card. "It's my turn!" he yelled. "I draw!"

He drew his card, grinned, and added it to his hand, before placing another on the red blade. "I summon Gimmick Puppet Egghead!" he called.

An orange egg with a blonde wig and flimsy limbs appeared in front of him with an eerie laugh. (1600/1200)

"Then I'll activate Egghead's special ability!" added Quattro. "By discarding a card from my hand, I can dish out eight-hundred points of damage!" He discarded his Gimmick Puppet Scissor Head, and the Gimmick Puppet's eyes became black tunnels, and it shifted so that it stood upside down, blasting purple energy at Draco.

The biker covered his eyes as the blasts hit and his life points decreased to 3200.

"Not yet," said Quattro. "More...I'll spoil you even more!" He held up a spell card. "I play the spell card, Level Doubler! By sending a card from my hand to the graveyard, I can double the level of one level four or lower monster on my field!" He slid a card into his graveyard. "So I'll discard my Gimmick Puppet Dreary Doll to change my Egghead from level four to level eight!"

The level stars in the window that held Egghead's stats glowed and doubled in number, while the puppet swelled in size.

"Now I activate the effect of Gimmick Puppet Magnet Doll, and special summon him to the field since the only monsters I control are Gimmick Puppets!" called Quattro. A grey mannequin appeared on the field. (1000/1000)

Draco was sweating for some reason. This guy's got two level eight monsters out, just like that!, he thought. Tch. Even if he attacks, it's useless. He pushed up his glasses and grinned as a purple-red aura surrounded him.

Quattro laughed at the sight. "Now I overlay level eight Gimmick Puppets Egg Head and Magnet Doll!" he called. His crest glowed on the back of his right hand. Egg Head became an orange sphere of energy, Magnet Doll a purple sphere, and they spiralled into the air, before plunging into a galaxy spiral portal that had twisted open at Quattro's feet. "I build the overlay network with these two monsters, and perform an xyz summon!" declared Quattro as the portal closed with a burst of light. "Come before us, Number 15!" he yelled.

As the yellow number 15 flashed in the air, Draco drew back. What power!, he thought. It must be mine!

A jumble of folded limbs appeared, hanging beneath a puppet cross. Slowly they unfolded into a grey humanoid puppet with a hole in its chest surrounded by yellow grinders, the entire thing sitting on a throne, with its number on its forehead. (1500/2500) A small figure stood at the top, operating the puppet.

"Meet Gimmick Puppet Giant Grinder!" declared Quattro.

Draco sneered. "Nice piece of junk that you've got there," he said derisively. "I'm gonna enjoy smashing it!"

"You fool!" snapped Quattro. "You're not going to get the chance!" He slid one of the cards out from under the Number card, and slotted it into his graveyard. "I activate Giant Grinder's ability! By using one overlay unit, I can destroy a special summoned monster you control, and if it was an xyz monster, then you take its attack points as damage!" He pointed at Armour Kappa. "Let's start small, shall we? Giant Grinder, destroy his Armour Kappa!"

One of the purple orbs disappeared into the puppet's forehead, and red strings shot out from Giant Grinder's fingers, grabbing the turtle creature and dragging it into the gear-lined hole in the puppet's chest. Then a golden cannon extended from Giant Grinder's chest.

"Destruction Cannon!" yelled Quattro, and it opened fire with a blast of crimson energy, knocking Draco backwards and decreasing his life points to 2800.

"Not yet!" yelled Quattro. "I haven't finished spoiling you yet!" He took the other card out from under Giant Grinder. "I use one more overlay unit to destroy Bahamut Shark!"

Once again, the orb slid into the puppet's forehead, the red strings grabbed Bahamut Shark, and dragged the sea-serpent into the maw in Giant Grinder's chest. The cannon extended, and the crimson energy built up, and Quattro yelled, "Destruction Cannon!" The blast crashed into Draco, and the big man screamed in agony as his life points decreased to 200.

"I'm not finished!" added Quattro. "Gimmick Puppet Giant Grinder now attacks you directly! Go, Final Dance!" he screamed.

Giant Grinder emotionlessly raised its arm and swung at Draco.

"I activate the trap card, Poseidon Wave!" snapped Draco. The card flipped up, and a wave of water cascaded over Quattro. "This card negates your attack!"

Quattro gasped. "Fine then," he muttered. "I'll end my turn for now. But you're gonna pay for preventing me from spoiling my fans, mark my words." He chuckled inwardly. Although, it is a perfect chance to see his Number up close now. Since only Numbers can destroy other Numbers, he'll need to summon it to take down Giant Grinder!, he thought smugly.

Draco spat as he drew, and grinned savagely. "First I'll use the effect of my Water Hazard continuous spell card!" he declared. "When I control no monsters, I'm allowed to special summon one level four or lower water monster from my hand!" He slapped a card on his disk. "Come! Cobalt Shark Drakon!" he called. The water behind him boiled, throwing out a blue skinned shark-like creature, with large clawed hands instead of fins. (1400/800) "Now I summon another Double-Finned Shark!" added Draco.

Another of the twin tailed maroon sharks appeared in a twister of water. "When I summon this card, I can special summon a level four or three water monster from my graveyard in defense mode and negate its effects!" explained Draco. "I'll bring back my Double-Finned Shark from earlier!"

Double-Finned Shark glowed, and a blue outline split off it into another one.

"Three level four monsters?" asked Quattro. "Oh, this is gonna be good."

The purple aura appeared around Draco as he stacked the card on top of one another. "I overlay level four Cobalt Shark Drakon and my two Double-Finned Sharks!" he called. All three monsters became blue spheres of energy, and they twisted into the sky. "Now I can build the overlay network!" crowed Draco as the galaxy spiral portal opened at his feet, and the three spheres twisted into it. The portal closed, and light spewed forth from it.

"I xyz summon Number 32: Shark Drake!" yelled Draco, holding up the card.

The red number 32 glowed in the air and on his hand as a red shark tooth rose from the explosion of light, sprouting fins and long, clawed limbs, revealing a draconic shark with long arms, wing-like fins, and a finned draconian head with sharp teeth. The number "32" clearly stood out on its chest as it snarled ferociously at Quattro, three blue orbs floating around it. (2800/2100)

Quattro looked at the Number, and he began to laugh. "Just look at that beast!" he said in admiration. "It almost seems a shame that I'll have to destroy it!"

"What makes you think that you'll get the chance?" asked Draco.

"What?!" snarled Quattro.

Draco pointed across the field. "Go, Shark Drake, attack his Giant Grinder with Deepsea Destruction!"

Shark Drake drew its head back, energy gathering at its jaws, and then it fired a stream of blue energy that took the shape of jaws, and crunched around Giant Grinder's waist, breaking the monster in two.

Quattro braced himself as his life points dropped to 2700. "Not bad," he admitted. "That Number really packs a punch!"

"I'm just getting warmed up!" yelled Draco, sliding one of the cards from beneath Shark Drake and slotting it into his graveyard. "I activate Shark Drake's ability!" he yelled. "By using one overlay unit, Shark Drake will special summon the monster that it just destroyed in battle with one thousand less attack points!"

One of the orbs surrounding Shark Drake disappeared into its forehead, and it fired a whirlpool at the ground that opened a purple graveyard portal, dragging Giant Grinder back onto the field, its attack points decreasing to 500.

"And just what was the point of that?" asked Quattro, closing his eyes in exasperation.

Draco grinned. "The point is that it allows Shark Drake to attack again!" he said.

"It does what?" yelped Quattro.

"Shark Drake, attack Giant Grinder!" yelled Draco. "Deepsea Destruction!"

Once again, Shark Drake breathed its jaw-shaped stream of energy, snapping Giant Grinder in two and continuing on to knock Quattro flying. His life points decreased to 400.

Draco laughed. "These things are just so much fun!" he crowed. "The way they mess with the Authentic Reality and create real damage is just great!"

Quattro wasn't moving.

Trey began to move towards his brother, but the shining of Quattro's crest and some slight movements stopped him.

Quattro struggled up, his body shaking – and the gang members stopped short as they realised that Quattro was laughing, his body shaking with absolutely hysterical laughter.

"This is great!" laughed Quattro. "I'll make that Number mine!" He grinned, his crest glowing brightly. "And then you'll learn just how much I can really spoil my fans!" He drew with a flourish. "It's my turn! I draw!" He laughed. "First I banish my Gimmick Puppet Egg Head from my graveyard so that I can bring back my Gimmick Puppet Dreary Doll!" he crowed. A card slid out of his graveyard, and a purple portal appeared, from which rose a black coffin, that opened to reveal a very creepy female doll, who laughed in an echoing voice. (0/0)

The gang members drew back, and Draco scoffed. "It's just a doll, you saps!" he snapped.

The gang members flinched – they were more afraid of Draco than the doll.

"Next I summon Gimmick Puppet Gear Changer!" added Quattro. A strange puppet appeared, it had four blue limbs, but its torso and head was a strange device with a lever protruding from the face, and the torso was bent at right angles to the legs, but turned over backwards. (100/100)

"My Gimmick Puppet Gear Changer's level changes to match the level of a Gimmick Puppet on my field!" explained Quattro. "I select the level eight Dreary Doll!" Gear Changer twisted the lever, and it glowed as the level stars in its readout changed in number from one to eight.

"Now I overlay level eight Dreary Doll and Gear Changer!" yelled Quattro, crest glowing blindingly. The two monsters became the purple and orange orbs of energy, spiralled into the air, and entered the galaxy spiral portal.

"With these two monsters, I build the overlay network, and I xyz summon Number 40: Gimmick Puppet of Strings!" yelled Quattro as the portal closed, releasing the light wave.

A purple number 40 flashed in the air as a harp-like object appeared, unfolding into a man shaped puppet that had a single wing at its left shoulder, which was held to the rest of its body by several strings. It carried a triangular sword in its right hand. (3000/2000)

Draco blanched. "Three-thousand attack points?!" he yelled. "No-no way!"

"More!" yelled Quattro. "I want to hear more!" He slotted a card into his disk. "I equip Gimmick Puppet of Strings with String of Destiny!" he yelled. "Now, when my Puppet of Strings attacks, I can send the top card of my deck to the graveyard, and if it's a monster card, then I can attack a number of times equal to its level!" He grinned at the look of shock and horror on Draco's face. "But there's more. The attack won't destroy your Number, so you'll continue to suffer the pain!"

Trey turned away, he hated when Quattro did this.

"Gimmick Puppet of Strings!" yelled Quattro. "Attack!" He drew a card, and held it up. "It's the level eight Gimmick Puppet Nightmare!" he yelled. "So I'll be attacking eight times! Celestial Slash!"

The puppet lunged, slicing across Shark Drake's chest. Draco and Shark Drake screamed as Draco's life points dropped to zero.

True to his word, Quattro wasn't done, and Gimmick Puppet of Strings sliced back and forth until Draco was beaten and weary.

The Authentic Reality dissipated, and Draco fell to his knees, the sheer brute force of the trauma had mercifully knocked him unconscious.

Quattro raised his hand, and the card glowed as he extracted it from Draco's soul. Of course, he could have taken the soul, but he didn't feel it to be necessary. He looked at the card of Shark Drake, and felt it trying to enter his mind as it had done with Draco, but the crest protected him, and he smirked. "You're all mine, now," he commented.

"Brother!" called Trey. "There's someone coming!"

Quattro looked up in the sky where Trey was pointing, and saw a flying shape coming towards them.

"Tch," he muttered. "I'd love to take him on now, but Vetrix told us to wait. Where's the fun in that?"

"Let's go!" warned Trey.

. .

Kite Tenjo landed, and looked around the area. It was pretty rubbish, even for an alleyway, and it wasn't at all improved by the man lying groaning on the ground, dressed in tattered maroon biker leathers.

Kite raised his hand and a white hand shot out of the sleeve, digging into the man's chest. It extracted a ball of light – the man's soul, and he clenched it in his hand, trying to compress it into a Number card, but it wasn't working.

Tch, Kite thought as he released the soul. Looks like someone got here first. Oh well, it doesn't matter. After all, I'll get all the Number cards eventually anyway.

I've put in a little homage to Chyna Costello at the start. Hope you liked it Chyna! (bonus points if you remember who the number one fan is). I also used some monsters from a set that I'll use in a another fic, but that won't be for a long time.

Here they are. They might be subject to change.

Iron Shark Serpent
WATER
Level 4
ATK: 1600
DEF: 0
Sea-Serpent/Effect
When this card isdestroyed by battlewith an opponent'smonsterand sentto theGraveyard: You canequipthis card to that opponent's monster. While this card is equipped to a monster, the equipped monster and this card are returned to the hand during the Standby Phase.

Cobalt Shark Drakon
WATER
Level 4
ATK: 1400
DEF: 800
Sea-Serpent/Effect
If you control a Level 4 WATER monster: You can Special Summon this card from your hand.

Hope you enjoyed our favourite psychopath (can't wait for his next duel, though) and please rate and review, all!

Sanokal.