This was originally meant to be a one shot but ended up being a lot longer in length than I expected so given where I got to here, I thought it would fit well as a part ending. This idea came to me at like 3am so it may be a little odd (and it grew out of a totally different idea - which I still want to write). Major thank you to MirrorSparkles1234 who has been reading bits of this and helping me out! I hope this is ok and thank you to anyone who reads / reviews.
It was careless to lose a member of staff, particularly so early on a shift but that was the situation that Colette Sheward found herself in as she paused in the centre of the ward. If anything the situation was made worse by the fact it was a Sunday, and as a result there were far fewer staff around making the disappearance of Nurse Carter all the more noticeable.
"Has anyone seen Nurse Carter?" To an extent she was almost talking to herself, as she made the exclamation, her exasperation apparent. It felt like she'd lapped the ward at least a hundred times in the hope the young Irish nurse would make an appearance, but as yet she remained missing in action.
"Not since handover," The voice of Adele seemed to come from nowhere, though on spinning round Colette found the HCA was arm deep in linen as she worked on changing a bed. She should have scolded the junior member of staff for attempting the task on her own, but the reality of ward work and the lack of nurses present meant that it was a waste of her breath. If it wasn't for the more pertinent issue of the locating the absent nurse, she could have assisted herself.
"She'll be in the ladies," A rather smug sounding Harry Tressler appeared from behind a curtain, flashing a smile in the direction of Adele. He didn't quite understand what the fuss was about regarding the latest vanishing act of Mary-Claire – she was famous for her ability to avoid work, in fact it sometimes seemed like she put more effort – and indeed work – in to avoiding work than she would expend actually doing the job she was paid for. Colette arched her eyebrows slightly, "Didn't you notice she was looking a little worse for wear this morning?" He answered her unspoken questions with his own, an almost pleased look in his eyes.
"Are you saying she's hungover?" Shaking her head, Colette considered this possibility. It wouldn't be the first time she's had to deal with one of her nurses turning up on a shift after a heavy night out, and she doubts it will be the last. But she'd been seeing improvements in Mary-Claire, though the younger nurse had a wild streak in her, over recent weeks it had seemed like she was settling and Colette had hoped it was a sign of things to come.
"I couldn't possibly comment," In so many ways Colette could throttle the young doctor. He knew that his words would be enough to confirm her suspicions. It was a sneaky game of his, and yet he seemed to get away with it time and again. One day though it would come back to bite him, and she just hoped she'd be around to bear witness to the event.
"There was that thing at Albie's last night," Adele's voice seemed to brighten as she was able to add her own contribution. It was, in truth, the only information she had to give given she had decided against going the night before – so had no idea whether Mary-Claire had been there – but it was enough to add weight to Harry's suggestion. If there was any sort of staff get together, it was near enough guaranteed that Mary-Claire would be in attendance – for the potential gossip she could learn, if not just for the alcohol on offer.
"I heard there was a bit of a bust up," Harry grinned as he turned fully towards Adele. His attention no longer held by Colette and her search for his colleague. Seemingly Adele too was lost to her now as she became involved with a conversation with Harry about a couple – who were now on the rocks – due to one party's affair with another member of staff.
Shaking her head, Colette started to walk away from the pair. The younger members of staff seemed not to think of the damage that could be done by their gossiping – whether it be about this – as yet unnamed it seemed – couple or about one of their own ward mates being hungover at work. Indeed it could be especially damaging in the case of Mary-Claire who was still recovering her reputation following the whole shambles at Christmas.
Almost without thinking about it she made her way to the ladies. She could have cursed herself for not having thought about it earlier. If it had been any other member of staff it would have been one of her first ports of call, the idea that they could be huddle over the toilet bowl after a Saturday night out drinking but somehow she hadn't considered it this time with Mary-Claire. Perhaps she'd dropped the ball and become complacent, seeing a change in the girl that had blinded her to this new event.
Stepping in to the ladies, it struck her almost immediately that it was unoccupied. She wasn't certain how she felt about this. There was relief she supposed that Mary-Claire was not a hanging mess, but that was mixed in with worry for where she actually was. At least if the nurse had been here, she could have dealt with it, but now she would have to resume her search once more and she had absolutely no idea what she was going to find especially with the seed that Harry had planted in her mind.
"Penny for them?" Colette startled slightly at the sound of Serena's voice. She hadn't even heard the door opening, let alone noticed the fact the consultant was now standing next to her with a look of concern on her face.
"Just thinking about a missing member of staff," She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and tried to force herself fully in to the present moment. She had so often been commended for her protectiveness over her nurses, but at times she wished she wasn't that way. She could sleep far easier if it wasn't for the things she carried with her. So much of her brain wanted to tell her that this was nothing, but she just couldn't help herself worrying – just as she had done time and again.
"That wouldn't be a certain nurse Carter now would it?" The words were accompanied by a slight shake of Serena's head. She'd heard the talk from the younger Effanga sister and Dr Tressler on her walk to the ladies, and it seemed that the Irish nurse was in something of a state. She shouldn't really admit it, but this came as no real surprise to Serena, given her experience of the nurse. Still she tried to force herself to think more kindly of the nurse after the incident with Edward, but really Mary-Claire did herself no favours.
"How did you guess?" It was a rhetorical question. There was no doubt in Colette's mind that by now gossip would have spread throughout the hospital that Mary-Claire was nursing a hangover rather than nursing her patients.
Serena's response was simply to raise her eyebrows. There was no real need to answer with words, just as there wouldn't be from so many who knew of Mary-Claire's reputation. If it hadn't been for that reputation perhaps she wouldn't have been so quick in her assumptions back in December, but as Edward had always done strange things to her ability to reason she couldn't be so sure. Colette sighed ever so slightly.
"Any ideas where I might find her?" Though in the seven months she had worked here she had come to know the hospital fairly well, it seemed to Colette that with her added years Serena may be privy to some additional hiding places that she had yet to uncover.
"The changing room toilets," that to Serena seemed like a good choice for a hungover nurse not wanting to be discovered. Given it was a Sunday there wouldn't be any electives scheduled, so unless there was an emergency it was unlikely anyone would have to go in there.
"You may well be on to something," the answer while slightly disappointing in some ways, was at the very least logical. In her years working she had found nurses in some of the most obscure places – and in her early years been located in them herself when she'd felt the need for an escape - as hospitals offered such a great number of hiding places if you were creative enough. Still though, sometimes it was easier to hide in plain sight, "Well I suppose that's my next port of call,"
"Good luck," she whispered the words under her breath as she watched the director of nursing slip out of the ladies in order to resume her search. She couldn't imagine that anything good was going to come of this. Colette seemed to have too much blind faith in the young nurse, and it was only going to end in disappointment for her.
Coming out of the ladies, Serena ran a hand through her hair. She couldn't help but feel the slightest hint of curiousity as to whether Colette had been successful in her search. She reasoned with herself that it was a professional curiousity, if the young nurse was indeed under the influence as seemed to be the case, the last thing Serena wanted was for Colette to somehow brush it under the carpet due to some misguided faith in the nurse.
As she came on to the ward, she caught sight of Colette appearing from the direction of the changing rooms, a frustrated look on her face that gave away the fact she'd been unsuccessful. Shaking her head, Serena continued towards the director of nursing, and offered her a slight smile.
"No luck?" It was a rather stupid question, but still she felt the need to ask it. She knew enough to the senior nurse to know that she would do a lot for her nurses, even lie but how convincing of an actress she could be in order to pull it off successfully.
"Nothing," Colette paused, trying to work out her next move. She could continue blindly walking around the hospital in the hopes of stumbling across the nurse, but searching in that way for a moving target was never the easiest plus it did nothing for the growing pile of work that she was supposed to be doing.
"Never challenge Mary-Claire to a game of hide and seek," there was a hint of humour in Serena's voice, but Colette didn't want that right now. She was worried for her nurse, and didn't see the point in the fruitless joking when something could be wrong.
"Still looking for Albie's friend?" Out of nowhere, Harry appeared with a cheeky look on his face. There was still that glint in his eyes, the look of mischief and the idea that he was about the throw a grenade at them and enjoy watching it explode.
"If you're referring to Mary-Claire then yes," it was frustrating to Colette that people seemed to be willing to make jokes, and to act like this was not a serious thing. Even Serena seemed amused by Harry. Yet if Mary-Claire was injured somewhere, how funny would they find it then? It would almost serve them right, not that she wanted anything bad to have happened to her nurse.
"I've heard she was seen making her way to the staff locker room," He seemed to enjoy being the one with the information, and Colette couldn't help but wonder if he'd actually known this earlier but wanted to get a little bit more mileage out of the game.
"Well that's the next place to search," Serena said gently, looking at Colette. It seemed that now there was a team of two searching for the nurse, which Colette wasn't entirely thrilled about particularly given her team mate was Serena. Still the pair of them started to walk in the direction of the locker room, until Colette froze getting the vague impression they were being followed. She turned sharply on her heel.
"Thank you Dr Tressler," she said fixing him with one of her glares, not wanting yet another tag along. The doctor frowned, not liking that he wasn't being allowed to follow but not wanting to cross Colette, he turned tail and made his way back to the ward, leaving the two women to continue on their way.
Serena was the first to step in to the room, and almost immediately she caught sight of the huddled shape of Mary-Claire on one of the benches. Her head was bent low, almost but not quite between her knees while her arms were wrapped around her body.
"So this is where you're hidden out," Serena moved slightly further in, allowing Colette entry in to the room before the door closed behind her. The nurse cautiously raised her head, giving the two older women a glimpse of her pale face.
"I was just …" The nurse's words trailed off as she tried to control herself. She tried to pull her arms more tightly around her body, almost as a protective shield against whatever was going to happen. Of all the people that had to find her in this room, one of them had to be Serena Campbell. At least there was sympathy visible in Colette's face.
"Just what?" It seemed like there was no way Serena would give her an easy ride of it, but then she expected nothing less of Ms Campbell. Still Mary-Claire groaned slightly, not trusting herself to talk. She feared that if she dared do so, she'd end up vomiting on the feet of the women before her.
"Can't you see she's not well?" Serena rolled her eyes slightly at the look she was given from Colette, and the tone of her voice. Evidently she didn't take kindly to it, though Mary-Claire hoped it was a sign that she had an ally in the room.
Not talking seemed not to help Mary-Claire much, her body seemed determined to get rid of everything she'd eaten anyway, and she found herself having to awkwardly push herself up from the bench, one hand clasped to her mouth as she dashed in the direction of the small sink attached to the wall. She knew she'd have had no hope of getting herself to the ladies in time, so pulling the hand from her mouth and clasping desperately on to the sink, she gave in. Her entire body seemed to ache with the effort or urging over that tiny basin.
"Why would you let yourself get in to this state?" Of course Serena remembered being young once, and indeed the nights that had left her in much the same state as the nurse before her, but time had made her less sympathetic particularly when the nurse had seemingly thought it was fine to turn up to work in this way.
The young nurse tried to ignore the comment, and instead tried to concentrate on steadying herself given that her stomach appeared to have settled slightly. Though she wasn't entirely sure she trusted it to stay that way.
"Serena," Colette issued the slight warning, her voice low though Mary-Claire still managed to hear it. Daringly she let go of the sink and turned around to face the two older women.
"Haven't you got anything to say for yourself?" It seemed that Colette's warning did nothing for Serena. There was something of a challenge in her tone and that was enough to cause the nurse to take pause, to consider how she was going to respond.
"This isn't …" She starts to speak before she stops herself, not entirely sure what to say. She could give in and say what Serena wants to hear, but that would mean disappointing Colette and she cannot bring herself to do so. Besides even if she did it, it wouldn't end there.
"You're honestly going to tell me this isn't what it looks like?" A hollow laugh escapes from Serena's lips as she considers what Mary-Claire had started to say. Slowly Mary-Claire started to walk back to the bench, her body shaking slightly as she snaked her arms back around her body before pressing herself down in to a sitting position.
"You know I've been looking for you," For the first time, Colette addresses Mary-Claire directly, and the nurse tries to concentrate on her superior and to block out the consultant. She hates the idea that she has put Colette to inconvenience, because it lessens the empathy she is likely to receive, even though Colette is giving a damn good show of it for now.
Only Mary-Claire can't quite respond. Instead she finds herself groaning slightly as she bites down on her lip and closes her eyes.
"We know about Albie's," That makes little sense to Mary-Claire, and yet the tone of Serena's voice makes it seems like she should understand. Everyone in Holby knows of the bar. In the back of her mind, there's a slither of information that keeps evading her, information she thinks might make her understand but try as she might she cannot grasp it, "Dr Tressler told us,"
"Can't you let her speak?" Colette issues another warning to the consultant, but she knows it will fall on deaf ears, and that Mary-Claire is doing nothing to help. If the girl would answer, explain, she could end this only she doesn't seem able to do so. A list of scenarios runs through Colette's head, everything from her having a drug slipped in to her drink through to her suffering from some obscure illness.
"Because she is doing a sterling job of that so far," There is a bitterness to Serena's words. But it makes slightly more sense to Mary-Claire now. Of course Harry would be causing trouble, he enjoys doing so especially where she is concerned, and hadn't he mentioned there was a night out at Albies. She was certain he'd tried to sway her in to going but she'd brushed him off but she couldn't recall if it should've been last night or not.
"She's obviously unwell," At least Colette wasn't jumping to conclusions, but for how long she could only guess. She had to admit that the symptoms she was displaying could be consistent with turning up at work with a hangover but she wasn't. Only she had no clue of how she could prove that.
"Is that a new way of saying hungover?" There's a slightly murderous look in Colette's eyes as Serena leaves them in no doubt of her assessment of Mary-Claire's condition. Mary-Claire could easily imagine that the consultant would be rather pleased if she turned out to be correct, to be able to place another black mark against her name. Harry, too, would be pleased given the part he has played and no doubt he would enjoy the experience.
She wishes she could respond, but instead she finds herself groaning once again, as her stomach cramps and rolls. She wishes she knew what was happening to her. She hadn't felt this awful in so very long and it couldn't have come at a worse time. She watches as the two older women wrinkle their noses in distaste before trying to hide their reactions.
"So you indulged in the post-Albie's, supposed – but obviously not effective – hangover prevention curry then," the nurse felt a flush creep up over her face. She wishes they could have just let it be.
She had to get out of there, with her stomach still cramping, she knew she had to get out of that room. Under that harsh glare of Serena, the room felt claustrophobic, airless. The smell was clogging up her throat and she needed to get away from it, in the hopes of saving herself any further embarrassment. Carefully she pushes herself up and takes the first few steps towards the door.
"And where do you think you're going?" The sound of Serena's voice stops her in her tracks. She wishes she would have just let her go, but then that didn't fit Serena's MO and given the world seemed to be against her, she should have known.
"Mary-Claire," Colette's voice was softer, but even then Mary-Claire couldn't help but feel she was being judged here and she needed to get away from it. Most of the time she could brush it off, or at the very least deal with it later but right now everything seemed to be getting on top of her. An increase in the rumble low in her abdomen was enough to panic her.
"I don't feel well," the words came quietly from her lips, childlike. She couldn't remember the last time she would have spoken like that, only that once upon a time, it would have resulted in her mother cradling her, while soft soothing words were spoken. Not that she was going to get that here. Instead she started to move once more, but her cramping body made it all the more difficult.
The walk to the ladies is almost enough to break her, and at so many points, she fears she is going to have to stop and that she'll just have to let it happen but somehow she makes it to the cubicle before she loses control over her body. Sitting there, she feels the cramping reach a fever pitch and she has to fight from groaning aloud, or allowing the tears that sting the corner of her eyes from falling. She wishes she had just stayed at home, curled up on her bed rather than thinking it would be fine, it would pass. She'd known that if she stayed home what the gossips would say and yet the same as happened now that she is here, and if anything she is getting worse.
In her desperate attempt to get away, she hadn't noticed that the two older women had followed her, or perhaps she had hoped they would do the decent thing and leave her be. But she should have known that was naïve of her and would never happen. Both were like a dog with a bone – Serena in wanting her assumption confirmed and action taken, and Colette in wanting to ensure things were fine with her nurse. When finally it felt like her body had finished, she tried to relax a little though she didn't dare move.
"I think you need to go home," Colette spoke first, her voice soft.
"And we'll be having a meeting in my office, on your return," while Serena's voice was far harsher, with no trace of the sympathy that Colette's held.
"We can't have you infecting the patients," it seemed like the two outside the cubicle had a skill for ignoring what the other was saying, but Mary-Claire was grateful for the fact, Colette seemed not to be acknowledging Serena's opinion. It meant, she hoped, that Colette was definitely on her side, that she realised that was not what Serena thought it to be.
"What are they teaching nurses these days?" Serena's laugh was hollow once more as she spoke, "hangovers most definitely aren't infectious," Mary-Claire can almost hear her shaking her head at the absurdity of the idea.
"Will you be alright getting home?" Once more it seemed that Colette was ignoring Serena's comment, though she would have to acknowledge it at some point. Mary-Claire bit her lip slightly trying to consider the question. She barely trusted herself to be able to move from the toilet cubicle, let alone make it back to her flat.
"I don't know," finally she brings herself to answer, though she knows it probably isn't what either wants to hear.
"Well we can't keep her here," Inside the safety of her locked cubicle, Mary-Claire couldn't help but wonder about the looks that would be passing between her superiors as they tried to puzzle this out.
"We'll if she's hungover as you think, she's hardly an infection risk is she?" At Colette's answer, Mary-Claire could help the upward twitching of her lips at the fact that the director of nursing was twisting Serena's opinion.
"But it's hardly appropriate," In all fairness being on the ward, or anywhere in the hospital, was the last thing Mary-Claire wanted – to be seen like this would be something not easily forgotten by her colleagues. It was partly why she had sloped off to the locker rooms. She'd wanted to raid her supply of ibuprofen, the one she kept in her work bag, but she'd cursed herself when she realised she'd let it run out and not replenished it, so she'd sat in the hopes of waiting for it to pass by itself.
"It's only until I can get her home safely," It felt nice that Colette cared enough about her.
"And the ward is busy enough without blocking a bed with a hungover nurse, who should know better," though it would've been nice for Serena to at least show some concern in that area.
"And you honestly think it's safe to let her get herself home like this?" It almost felt like they had forgotten she was here and listening in to their conversation. She heard a sigh from the consultant, perhaps considering how she would feel if it were her daughter.
"Fine," The word comes out sounding slightly defeated, "Mary-Claire, you can sit in my office until such a time when Nurse Sheward can get you home," the nurse drew in a sharp intake of breath at the idea. She can't imagine having to sit in an office with Serena, and having her eyes judging her, yet it seemed to be her only option.
"Thank you," She says it shakily, not quite trusting herself to speak but knowing she has too. She hears a grunt of acknowledgement from the consultant, and sighs. She just hopes that whatever Colette has to do is over quickly.
The walk to Serena's office is a slow one. Though Mary-Claire's stomach appears to have settled slightly, or at least was no longer rumbling or cramping with quite so much intensity, she still found it hard to move as quickly as the other two wanted. She had to force herself to walk straight and tall, and to control the way her body wanted to shake. She knew that taking support from Colette – support which was offered – would only draw suspicion if they were seen so she forced herself to walk alone. Still she knew that anyone catching sight of the three of them would almost instantly start spreading the gossip that she was in trouble.
Once they made it in to the room, Serena indicated the chair in to which Mary-Claire should settle herself, and fearing that she'd end up on the floor if she didn't take it as quickly as she could manage, she settled herself down and tried to get comfortable. In the end she rather gave up with that, given no position seemed to relieve the way her body ached.
"You'll be alright in here" Colette sounded more than a little concerned at the idea of having to leave her nurse alone in this room though she tried to keep her voice light and positive. Mary-Claire found herself looking at her senior, her ally, with almost pleading eyes, wishing that she didn't have to be left alone with Serena but knowing that the sooner that Colette left, the sooner she could likely return.
"We'll be fine," It was Serena though who spoke, her voice still harsh. She had moved round to her desk, and settled herself down in the office chair. She looked a lot more comfortable than Mary-Claire felt and she envied that.
"If you're sure," Though the response was to Serena's words, it was directed at Mary-Claire. Slowly, the younger nurse nodded her head slightly to indicate that she would be alright.
Nodding her head and offering a small smile, Colette took her leave from the room, muttering that she would be back soon. It was strange hearing the door close behind her, sealing the consultant and nurse alone together. Wearily they eyed each other but said nothing. In some ways, the room felt smaller now that Colette had gone.
Serena sighed slightly. This was in no way how she had thought she'd be spending her shift - babysitting a hungover nurse in her office. She could have caught up on some of her ward duties but she had absolutely no intentions of leaving the nurse here alone, she dreaded to think what she would come back too, but she didn't especially relish the prospect of doing her paperwork either but that would at least give her the excuse to sit in here. Still it would mean she got it done. She glanced at the clock on the wall, it was still only 1030am and yet it felt like she had been at work far longer than 3 hours.
Mary-Claire tried to distract herself by looking about the room, in all fairness she was trying to look anywhere than at Serena. She could see photographs of the consultants daughter scattered around, shots which showed the girl smiling and happy. On the wall was a picture that had obviously been drawn by the girl when she was much younger, and while it's subject was not obvious it was displayed with such pride that it touched the nurse slightly.
Paying slightly more attention, she caught sight of something on the bookcase, and for as second it stole her breath. It was a photograph, not so different to the others, and yet this one held her gaze. Like the others, it featured the daughter in the main, she was the cameras primary focus but in this photo she was flanked by both of her parents. The two adults beaming in to the camera, in sync with their smiling child. It was the image of a happy family and yet Mary-Claire knew the truth to be so very different. That photo, she imagined, couldn't have been taken that long before things broke down entirely for the Campbell's and yet still Serena displayed the photo.
She felt her hand drop down on to her abdomen, as another cramp took hold of her. The first since she had made her way from the ladies to here, and she gasps slightly. She'd hoped it was over with, giving what had happened and yet now she wasn't so sure. She turned her head to see the way Serena was looking at her.
"If you need the toilet, go," It was a sharp command, and Mary-Claire found herself shaking her head at the bluntness of it, "I'll not be cleaning up your mess," the consultant added the words with a distaste colouring her tone, and the nurse found herself flushing once more with colour.
"It's just cramps," Once the pain lessened, she spoke quietly, hoping that would be enough of an explanation. It was supposed to be a universal female code, and yet the consultant seemed to be raising an eyebrow in surprise at the response. Then again she seemed to be unwilling to believe anything she had to say, so why should it be surprising that she would question this as well.
"Have you taken anything?" The question though comes as something of a shock, as does the slight hint of sympathy in the tone. It's not much but it's enough that it registers with the nurse. She shakes her head slightly and she sees the way Serena twists her lips slightly, before she opens a draw and rummages around for a second, "Here," she places a box on to the desk, and with a smile Mary-Claire recognises it as a box of ibuprofen.
"Thank you," Shakily she pushes herself up from the chair, knowing that it would be altogether too much to expect Serena to bring the painkillers to her. As she pulls herself in to a standing position, her spine protests and she grimaces. She moves an arm behind her back, pressing it against the ache and tries desperately to stretch it out though it has very little effect and once she has removed her hand, she finds that nothing has changed.
She takes hesitant steps towards the desk, feeling the way her every move is watched and studied by the consultant. She tries to force herself to act normally, to ignore the pain but she isn't certain how successful she's being, and then the ache in her spine seems to shift and she doesn't understand why. It edges around and encompasses her abdomen. She closes her eyes, trying to block the tears which threatened to spill over at this new pain that didn't seem to abate, that seems to cause her entire body to become tense as she bends double and gropes blindly for something to lean against until her hands came to rest against the wood of Serena's desk. She forces her weight against it, hoping that it will at the very least keep her upright, while she waits for the pain to pass. She forces herself to breath, only it seems to be so much harder than she remembers and then the pain starts to lessen. It ebbs away, until it is once more an ache in her spine, and she finds herself able to straight up.
She finds herself looking in to the eyes of Serena. The older woman is still sitting at her desk but she is leaning slightly forward, as though trying to comprehend what is happening.
"Nurse Carter," Somehow Serena's voice manages to reach her ears, and she tries to concentrate on that, and to ignore the fact her back is still aching.
"I …" She starts to speak but nothing more comes. She has absolutely no idea how to explain what has just happened, though she would very much like to forget that it even did. It had felt to her like that pain lasted for an eternity.
"Nurse Carter, what is going on?" Hesitantly, Mary-Claire reached forward to take the box of pills from the desk, but the consultant was slightly quicker and pulled the box away, holding it in her hands so that the nurse could no longer take them. If it had been anyone else in the room, she probably would have sworn at her colleague from the withholding of relief from this pain.
"It's just cramps," She repeats what she's already told her colleague in the hopes she'll release the medication over. If she could just get some relief from this, she is certain she'll be fine. Only there is a little voice in the back of her mind telling her that something isn't right. She'd lost track of how long she'd been having the back pain and the cramping, or more precisely she didn't want to think about it but she knew she hadn't been able to help herself either – and now Serena wasn't making that any easier.
"And you're certain about that?" There's disbelief once more in the consultant's face, a rise in her eyebrow as she studies the nurse. It's one thing to feel so very awful but another to feel that you are on display, and that your colleague is perhaps enjoying making her feel so very small.
"That or the food was a bit dodgy in the canteen yesterday," she tries to lighten the atmosphere a little with the comment but in truth she had eaten very little yesterday. She'd sat in the canteen in her lunch break, pushing her food around the plate having suddenly lost her appetite, but she had thought little of it. She sees the way Serena rolls her eyes.
"Or the curry place hasn't improved it's hygiene any," The consultant can't really imagine anything worse than heading to the little curry house near to Albie's, having glanced inside the door she couldn't quite understand why anyone would go inside let alone order and eat the food prepared there. Still she supposed that the inebriated were less fussy about the standard of establishment they chose to eat at – or less fussy about most things in general.
"I didn't have a curry last night," it's the first time she has properly protested against the accusations against her, "and I didn't go to Albie's either,"
"Then why did Dr .." Only Serena's words are left hanging by the nurse turning tailing and disappearing out of the room. Sighing the consultant pushes herself up from her desk and shakes her head. She walks at a much slower pace than the nurse as she makes her way to the ladies. It didn't take a genius to work out that was where the nurse would've run too, and stepping inside of the door, her suspicions were immediately proved to be correct.
"Are you alright in there?" It's a stupid question on Serena's part, but she doesn't quite know what to say to the groaning nurse. If Colette was here she would allow her to take the lead, particularly now it seems less likely that Dr Tressler's – and indeed her own – assumptions were incorrect.
"Can't … you … just … leave … me … alone" the nurse speaks the words haltingly, leaving gaps between each one which is filled by a low groan. The cramping in her stomach had worsened once more, though this time nothing seemed to be happening and that made it worse somehow. She found herself bending double on the seat, as the pain once more took her over. Desperately she forced herself to breathe, to drag oxygen in to her lungs for fear that otherwise she'd end up in a heap on the ground. When finally it edged away again, she straightened.
It was quiet in the cubicle now. Perhaps Serena had seen sense and left her too it, though she knew she would have to return to the office – unless, she could always make her way back down to the ward. She could go in search of Colette even, and try to sit in with her rather than having to deal with Serena. Colette may even be kind enough to give her some painkillers.
Slowly, sensing that nothing was going to happen, she shifted herself back in to a standing position and cleaned herself up. She caught sight of something on the tissue paper, and wrinkled her nose in disgust, before she drops it in to the toilet bowl and flushes it away. She cannot understand it, why there would be something like that there or maybe it is just her eyes deceiving her, her mind playing tricks. It could just be something completely normal, but the pain is making her see things in a different way. Sighing, she leaves the cubicle and goes to wash her hands.
"I think you'd best let me check you over," She startles slightly at the sound of Serena's voice having assumed she'd long since left. She turns and sees the woman hovering by the door, perhaps having come close to leaving before deciding against it.
"I thought I was just some hungover inconvenience," Mary-Claire's words are slightly bitter, but she cannot help it. She hates the way people are all too willing to jump to conclusions when it comes to her. She has made mistakes in the past, but then who hasn't and now she was trying to make up for it and to prove herself and where did it leave her? Still the same old Mary-Claire – that was what people saw.
"In the past …" but bringing up the past is a dangerous exercise in Serena's experience. She can see the pained look that crosses Mary-Claire's face briefly, and she cannot help but feel, for a moment, for the younger woman. It cannot be easier to escape the image she had created for herself, particularly when people were unwilling to see past what they once knew.
"You should know that Harry enjoys twisting things," She shakes her head slightly. She likes the young doctor enough, but he likes to create his own entertainment. If given the right base material – such as her own illness – he can create his own little story and watch as it unfolds around him, shifting and changing with new developments. He doesn't necessarily think of the destruction he could cause, nor is his being particularly vindictive in his actions – or at least he isn't most of the time – but still it hurts.
"It isn't just Doctor Tressler though is it?" In truth, today it was with a little bit of help from Adele Effanga, but other days the gossip surrounding Mary-Claire would come from far and wide. Her reputation had preceded her for so very long, "but that doesn't matter, I need to make sure you're ok," she adds it, but she knows it's not true. It matters a great deal to the nurse, but she doesn't know how she can fix it – nor is it really her duty to do so.
"I'm fine," She tries to say it convincingly, but it falls flat. How can she be fine when things are happening to her that she doesn't understand, and people are all too willing to jump to their own conclusions as to why.
"If you'd rather, Colette can come sit in," It seems to be a good compromise, having someone in the room that the nurse trusts.
"I just need some pain relief, and to go home and sleep," Not that she is certain she'll be able to sleep, but she'd give it a good go in the hopes of being able to wake up and feel like herself again. In Serena's face, Mary-Claire can see the conflict – between wanting this to be over and her sense of duty as a professional.
"I can give you pain relief, but I need to check you over first," It's a dirty trick, but Mary-Claire needs the pain killers. She bites down hard on her lip, trying to decide if she is desperate enough to let the consultant be her doctor. It's embarrassing enough that she has seen her this way, that she has assumed her to be hungover, let alone to allow her to give her an examination. But if she can just get some medication on board, it could fix this and then the whole thing could be forgotten about.
"Fine," she says it quietly, after a period of thought, "but Colette has to be there," she adds quietly. Serena nods her head, before she guides the nurse back to her office, deciding that it would be more private to do things there.
Colette isn't sure what she expects to find when she appears in Serena's office. In the hour since she'd left the pair of them she'd found herself barely able to concentrate on her work, instead she'd been waiting for her phone to ring summoning her back up to the office. The fact it had taken so long to happen was something of a surprise to her, given the terse relationship between the nurse and the consultant. She is somewhat bemused to find that Mary-Claire is sitting on the sofa in Serena's office, with her legs drawn up under her and a distinct look of discomfort on her face, though it cannot be said whether that is due to pain or because of the strangeness of the situation.
"Nurse Carter wanted you here, while I check her over," Serena doesn't exactly beat about the bush, barely waiting for the door to close behind Colette before she speaks. The two older women glance over to the nurse, who shuffles slightly, clearly wishing she was anywhere other than here.
"And you've agreed to this?" It surprises Colette a great deal that Mary-Claire would consent to this, and it only increases the worry she feels. It would have to be something serious for her to allow this to happen, desperately the director tries to cast her mind back over the last few weeks, trying to work out whether there is something that she's missed that could have alerted her to the potential for this, so that she could have prevented it.
The nurse nods her head, before she glances down at the floor. She almost wishes she hadn't but the draw of painkillers, drugs she knows are waiting on the desk, was too much for her.
"Can we get this over with?" She asks it softly, still not looking up at the two of them.
"Very well," Serena is professional as she speaks, expertly slipping in to her doctor mode. She pulls her desk chair nearer to Mary-Claire and sits herself down, while Colette eases herself down on to the sofa next to her nurse. "When did the pain start?"
"I've had pain in my back for a few days," Mary-Claire starts slowly as she tries to think back, she clenches her hands in to fists to prevent them shaking, "and last night I started to have cramping in my abdomen," only it wasn't so bad then but she doesn't add that. It was just normal cramping, and she'd tried to ignore it as she so often did.
"Have you had any bleeding or discharge?" It's the standard set of questions, and Mary-Claire should have expected this one. She bites down on her lip for a second, trying to consider whether she should mention what had happened in the ladies. Finally she releases her teeth's grip.
"A little discharge when I went to the toilet earlier," she speaks quietly, hating having to say this in front of two women she has to work with. It would almost be easier if it was someone from another ward who she was likely to see only rarely.
"And you're not currently on your period?" Serena seems to be running through the checklist in her mind, and Mary-Claire shakes her head slightly, "and I've no need to ask if you've had any vomiting or diarrhea" the flush creeps back over Mary-Claire's cheeks. She wishes the question needed to be asked.
"You're doing fine," Colette tries to reassure her, but how can she be? She's doing nothing but answer simple questions. This isn't doing anything towards fixing the problem, only delaying the moment in which she'll receive pain relief. She tilts her head upwards to look at Serena.
"I need to have a feel of your abdomen," again she knew this was coming but she hates the idea of it. She feels Colette shift off of the sofa, in order for Mary-Claire to be able to maneuver herself round so that she is lying slightly. She moves hesitantly, bringing up her tunic top slightly to bear the skin of her abdomen.
"Be gentle," She almost pleads with the words. She's been trying to appeal pressure to the all too sensitive area but she knows what doctors, and indeed nurses, fingers can be like when they probe an area. She squeezes her eyes tightly shut.
"Rest your arms by your sides, palm up," Serena doesn't acknowledge what she says, but issues the commands before she lays her hands – cold hands despite the warm weather – on the nurse's bare skin. She presses firmly, fingers moving deftly over the skin.
"How's that feeling?" It's Colette that asks the question, her gaze flicking between the nurse and the consultant. She can see how Mary-Claire has her eyes squeezed tightly shut trying not to react to what is happening, yet the way she had bitten down on her lip causing it to turn white gives away what she is feeling. While the consultant's face is filled with concentration, a look of confusion in her eyes.
In fact there is something in the way the consultant works that confuses Colette. Her fingers seemed to be moving in the same pattern, over and over while her brow furrows further as though she cannot quite comprehend what she is feeling. Finally she pulls her hands away and for a moment she catches Colette's eye.
Feeling the removal of the hands, Mary-Claire releases her lip and allows her eyes to open, catching for a second the look that passes between the two older women before both pairs of eyes turn to her. She watches as Serena draws in a deep breath before exhaling.
"Nurse Carter, are you by any chance pregnant?"