Happy Birthday to Me- America
*fireworks* Yeah America! On this day, 236 years ago, America wrote his break up letter to England (aka the Declaration of Independence) which basically said, "It's not me, it's you. Here's why you suck, and here's how I'm going to fix it." Take that, USUK shippers!
It was July 4th, 1776. England was sitting in his study sorting the day's mail, trying to forget about his recent fight with America. It wasn't the first argument they'd had a argument, it was merely the latest in a long line. The arguments seemed to be getting worse, too. The two hardly ever spoke anymore, except to yell at one another.
England sighed as he reached the bottom of the pile. Nothing interesting, just complaints and requests from various citizens. Then, a messily addressed envelope caught his gaze. He'd recognize that handwriting anywhere. England tore the envelope from the stack and ripped it open. Sure enough, the letter was from America. Perhaps America was writing to apologize for being so immature? Or maybe to beg forgiveness for dumping all that perfectly good tea into the harbor. Either way, this letter would mean the end to all their fighting. England smiled at the prospect, and began to read.
Dear England,
The last few months have pretty stressful, huh? We've been fighting a lot, more than we ever used to. And I know you hate it as much as I do. But as much as I hate it, I hate the way you've been treating me as of late even more. It's not just me, either! You've been mistreating my people as well, and that's not ok with me. You've imposed outrageous taxes, taken away their rights, and even murdered the innocent in cold blood. And won't stand for it any more.
I've tried to be polite, I've tried to be patient. I've tried everything, and you just won't listen to me. Damn it England! I'm no longer the little boy you found in the meadow. I've grown up, I'm a man now! And you need to accept that and start treating me as such. I want-no. I need to grow, to become more powerful. In order to do that, I need my freedom. And I'm willing to pay any price to get it.
I'm writing this letter in the hopes that you will see my side and let me go in peace. But, knowing you and your proud nature, that is highly unlikely to happen. So this letter also serves as a warning. When I say any price, I do mean any. My people are ready to fight for their freedom, as am I. I don't want to fight you, but I will of I must.
I hope for both of our sakes it doesn't come to that.
Sincerely, America
P.S. Happy birthday to me.
England stared at the paper blankly for a moment, before giving a bitter laugh as the irony of the situation hit him. He had opened the letter thinking it was the end of the battles between him and America.
When in actuality, it symbolized the beginning of the war.
A/N: Wow, an angsty birthday present. It doesn't get much weirder than that.
Once again, this was originally written/published on July fourth. I simply didn't want to wait a year before posting it here.