Heyo guess who's back and (is complete Touken shipping trash like dear lord save me I think about these two almost all the time and I cry) I mean anyways I have returned and with it I come bearing a series of Touka x Kaneki and Touka x Haise. I would like to warn everyone though #Spoilers if you haven't read Tokyo Ghoul Re and also I started writing this fic before the events of chapter 125. Anywho carry on and ignoring my rusty writing!

A/N: Reposting because the initial one's formatting got all jacked up (yes I looked before I posted, no it wasn't like that when I posted it) anywho now all you have to deal with is shitty writing! : D

"Are you a virgin?"

"No, I'm not a virgin. You know that."

Instead of actually saying his reply out loud, all Kaneki could manage was to hold a polite smile as he spilled his coffee all over the polished floor.

Her gaze on him was thoughtful even as she analyzed his reaction. Her voice, was that usual touka tone that cooly requested (demanded because if he didn't do as she said he was certain his face would meet the countertop again) for him to clean up the coffee spill. Though voice albeit unfriendly her face was lax, not showing a single hint of aggression. If anything she seemed mirthful after analyzing him, amused by his reaction, and her previous tone of voice was merely in jest.

Of the many things she could potentially want to discuss with him this was the one thing that was taboo. It was like an unspoken agreement not to talk about it or mention it. However, Touka was never one to be delicate about a subject, especially ones that pertained herself and those she cared for.

Unable to come up with a response, he took a contemplative sip from his empty cup. He took a long sip of coffee that was no longer there so he could gather his thoughts, and pray for someone, anyone to come and save him from this conversation. He thought she knew, thought that this conversation was taboo and best left untouched. He thought they both knew not to talk about it, that it would be best if they both forgot and move on like nothing happened.

"Kaneki you look like you're a bout to die… Between the two of us the only one who thinks it'd be better off if you were gone… is you."

Sometimes it felt like she could see right through him. He resented and her adored her for knowing how he felt, even when he wanted no one else to know. She could see past his shallow reasons, and see the deeper meaning to his actions. It was almost scary, unnerving, but stranegely comforting at the same time.

"So when the time comes I'll let you do it with me."

Again

He didn't add that last bit and instead tried to figure out her intent. She'd let him do it with her? Is that what she wanted? Her and him together? Or did she want "him"? Instead of saying his thoughts out loud he took another sip from his empty cup to hide his blush, quietly telling her that she should treasure her "virginity" more, and that she shouldn't be so vulgar. Only they both knew he was full of shit, that he was embarrassed and didn't want to talk about it, about him, about them. That he of all people shouldn't be lecturing her on treasuring her "virginity" that they both knew she didn't have, and he didn't have.

"I have one more question."

Kaneki set his cup on the counter so that he didn't end up dropping it lest she ask him another hard hitting question. At this point he would even prefer her to hit him rather than put him through this questioning. It would have been like the old days- it was easier back then. Where she could hit him and yell at him, but at least afterwards they could both sulk privately, neither of them able to truly get their point across. This wasn't easy, nothing about these conversations were ever easy, perhaps that's why he had been avoiding it for so long. Why he would have avoided it for the rest of his life if he could.

"Why do you always leave me behind? You bring Tsukiyama and Nishki with you…" And those two have both tried to kill him at some point or another, but that wasn't said out loud. Touka had done a lot to him, good, and bad but… Not once had she genuinely tried to kill him as his other comrades have. Taking a deep breath, Kaneki found his response,

"That day you when you were injured behind Anteiku, do you remember what I said to you?"

"That you'd be sad if I died?" How could she forget? It was the first time that he had called her by her name.

"You were always more decisive than I was. Rushing off into danger that I couldn't protect you from. All I'd ever see was your back receding into the distance as you ran ahead. Back then I just wanted the strength to protect everyone." He still wanted that, but things were so much more complicated now, "I was always afraid that you'd run off somewhere and die without my knowledge." Even now he was still worried that she might die, and that he won't be there to protect her.

"You know…. That's how I feel this time around. I feel like you're going to disappear."

He wanted to laugh they were such idiots, the both of them. The pain of getting left behind, of worrying if she'd come back, and the desire to grow stronger to protect… It was no longer him that felt like that but her. He couldn't help but marvel at how things have changed, how their roles have changed without him realizing.

"I'm always thinking of ways to stop you from going away."

"Then just now that was?"

"Was what?" She gave him a small teasing laugh, that was much cuter than he would ever admit out loud. Unable to help himself, Kaneki almost felt relieved that this conversation wasn't going the way he thought it was going to. He had thought he had dodged a bullet until she brought him up-

"You used to come here by yourself sometimes. When you were a dove. You'd sit down and open a book. You'd often look at me with that same gaze you used to look at Rize with."

He knew where this was going, and he didn't want it to go there. She should have known not to break the unspoken agreement they had. Not to talk about him or that time, or their time together. Still she did, and he was thrown back into the past, memories that were his and also not his filling his mind.

Anywho, that's it for this chapter

This series will probably be having relatively short chapters compared to my other ones so be expecting relatively quick updates!

The rating for now will be T but later on it may be subject to change due to obvious reasons -insert winking here-

I'm also open to requests, ideas for this fic, reviews are always appreciated, as well as feedback! : D

Favorite/follow are also super sexy

With lots of angsty love - MakingMagicalGirls