The feeling of emptiness -
Chapter 1 – "It became an addiction, an escape from reality"
AN: This story doesn't follow the storyline of the 'Thor'-movies. It takes place in an AU (Alternate Universe) and the characters are OOC. Furthermore there a trigger moments, acts of self-harm etc.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of 'Thor'. Any relation to another fic or real life is coincidence.
Warning: Trigger Moments
The room was in complete silence. Nothing was heard except the silent sobs from the inhabitant and his silent cries for help. Cries for help that have been there for years, coming more and more to light. But the wanted help never came. Instead only laughter and more pain. Pain that has throughout the years have building up on the tender body and no threatens to bring end to young man.
This said man has lived for many years, many centuries, but never truly lived. His true self hidden away at the mere age of a new-born. Ripped away from his home and taken away. Hiding his natural looks and made afraid of his own people. His people that are seen as monsters. Monsters that have to be slayed. His own brother – no he is not his brother – his adoptive brother that wants to slay his race.
His race? The race of monsters that children are afraid of. Giants – much bigger than the normal size of a person. Blue tinted skin with marks (AN: Does anyone what they are called?) covered on their skin. Living in the wasteland made out of ice.
Slowly he calmed down. The sobs becoming less. The feeling of sadness slowly forming into nothing. Into emptiness. Now he was sitting in front of his bed, leaning against it. Staring mindlessly into nothing. His eyes tear-strained, red. "I am nothing" He whispered. "A nobody. No wonder no one wants to be around me"
Suddenly he could hear steps walking toward his room, stopping in front of it. The doorknob turned but the door did not open. His magic keeping the close. "Loki?! Open the door!" was heard from outside. It was Thor – the favourite one, the loved one, everything he was not.
Lokis gaze turned to the floor. Tears forming again in his eyes. Once again being reminded that he is not wanted – never has been wanted. Thoughts like these have already consumed his mind. Have already harmed him before.
Loki was always thin, but in the last months he became even thinner. Bones now visible, skin stretched above them, his stomach sunken in.
Small scars, some faded, some still red, covering his small frame. Self-inflicted wounds to drown the emotional pain. But not only that. It became an addiction, an escape from reality. Loki tried to stop, but the want to hurt himself was stronger and only more scars are covering his body.
Suddenly screams were outside in the halls – ripping Loki out of his trance. He stared in wonder at his door, slowly standing up and walking towards it. He leaned his head against the door and tried to listen for some sounds. But he heard nothing. After some time Loki lifted the magic on his door and slowly opened it. But not being able to see someone he stepped out of the room. He heard further down the hall noises and made his way towards them. Arriving there he took in the shocking scene. The Jotuns were in Asgard.
~to be continued~
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