I Love You

Thinking back, it all started that night five years ago. One may think you'd have already forgotten about it by now, but how could you? The way he moved, his hair, his face, and those red eyes, so much like your own. He was the most beautiful sight, dancing to your music. That was when you subconsciously made the most important decision of your life, which also proved to be your greatest misfortune.

OoOoO

You spot him at the bar, then let a playlist on and approach the mysterious red-eyed dancer.

"What do you want, fuckass?!" Oh, a little feisty, are we?

"Whoa, calm your tits man, I was just wondering how a fine ass like yours managed to dance alone for all that time."

"It's none of your business, now fuck off!"

"Yeah, I suppose it's none of my business." You shrug. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"What part of 'fuck off' didn't you get?"

You put a finger to your lips, as if you were thinking hard about something. "The 'off' part… but we could work out that 'fuck' part if you want." You wink suggestively.

"So smooth… And that was sarcasm, in case you're not familiar with it."

You shrug again. "So, what about that drink?"

"Sure, whatever."

"I'm Dave, by the way. Dave Strider."

"Karkat Vantas"

"Nice meeting you, Karkat" You say with another suggestive wink.

You both get your drinks and make small talk for a while. By the end of the night, you have his phone number scribbled on your arm.

OoOoO

You remember the first time you went out on a date together. It was not long after that night… Actually, you called him right the next day and, surprisingly, he accepted you invitation.

OoOoO

"Hello?"

"Karkat? It's Dave."

"Hello, fuckass. I have to say I didn't expect you to call so soon."

"Yeah, me neither. So, wanna go out sometime?" Where did that come from?

"Like, on a date?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?"

"Because I barely know you?!"

"Aw, man, come on, don't be shy."

"Fuck you! I'm not shy! I'm just… precautious."

"I'm not gonna kill you or anything, you know." You can practically see him struggle with himself, trying to decide whether he should or not accept.

"…Fine. But I get to choose the place."

"Fine by me." Fuck yeah! Dave Strider strikes again!

"Movies, Saturday, 7pm. I'll text you my address. Don't be late."

"It's a date, then." And he hangs up, just like that, no 'goodbye' or 'see you then' or anything.

OoOoO

That was the most hilarious date on the history of hilarious dates. First of all, he wanted to watch a cheesy romantic movie. Totally lame. Then you ended up sleeping halfway through the movie and were awaken by cold soda being poured on your face. Karkat was fuming, but you managed to calm him down when you kissed him, out of the blue, in the middle of his ranting. You'd soon figured out that was an effective way to shut him up.

That date was followed by others and after six months you asked Karkat to move in with you. It was supposed to be all cute and cheesy, just like those romantic films he liked, but it turned out a little different…

OoOoO

It's Saturday morning and your phone is ringing. You pick it up and see it's Karkat. "Hey, babe."

"I told you to not call me that." He totally loves the nickname. "Do you remember what day is today?" He sounds angry… but then again, when doesn't he?

"It's, umm, Saturday?"

"Damn right it's Saturday. It's also the day you said we'd go to be beach, dumbass."

"Fuck, I totally forgot. Sorry, babe."

"Apology not accepted. Get your lazy ass off the bed and come pick me up already."

"Will I get a reward if I do this?"

"I'll let you live, how about that?"

"I'm on my way." You're still under the covers on your bed, actually.

"You haven't even gotten out of bed yet."

"Oh, babe, you know me too well."

You finally get out of bed, take a quick shower and go pick him up. The drive to the beach is filled with a silent battle over the radio station, which you win. Karkat makes the cutest pout when he doesn't get what he wants. It makes you want to kiss those lips over and over again for the rest of your lives.

You arrive at the beach by lunchtime. Karkat suggests a sea food restaurant nearby and you go grab something to eat. Afterwards, you take him to a romantic stroll by the sea shore. You spot a pier and take him there. It would be the perfect place to ask him to move in with you… And then it starts raining.

You two run off to find shelter, which happened to be a small entrance in the rocks, not big enough to be a cave.

"It's fucking cold in here" Karkat complains. You pull him close in a warm embrace.

"Better?" No answer.

"Hey, babe, can I ask you something?" You decide to ask now, or else you may lose the courage… But you'll never admit that. You're a Strider, after all.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Move in with me."

"That doesn't sound much like a question, you know?"

"I know." Silence.

'What's taking him so long? Doesn't he like me? I mean, we never said the three words to each other, but I just assumed that's how he felt. Damn, I'm freaking out like a love-struck schoolgirl. Get a grip, Dave!'

"Ok."

"What?" You have to be sure your ears didn't trick you.

He looks up at you and knock on your forehead. "Hello? Is there someone in there? I said 'ok'."

You momentarily forget to keep you 'cool' façade on and grin like an idiot.

You'd never felt happier in your life.

OoOoO

You remember the four years you lived together in your apartment. Everything was perfect. Karkat had finished high school and was about to finish college (he was a senior when you met him). You got quite a name inside the music industry. You had the life everyone wanted to have.

Then, one day, it all fell apart.

OoOoO

"Dave, I'm going out to buy groceries, because this should be your fucking job and you fucking forgot it again."

"Sorry, babe. To make up for that, I'll come with you to help you carry the bags, ok?"

"No, it's not ok. But fine, let's go."

You two make the way to the grocery store, a few blocks away from your apartment building, hand in hand, when suddenly you feel a tug on your arm. You turn back to see Karkat's being restrained by a burglar, and he's got a gun on his head. You inwardly freak the fuck out, but keep a cool mask on and raise your hands in a sign of defeat, trying to calm down the guy.

"Hey, man, no need to do this. You want my wallet, my cellphone? You can take everything, just let him go."

"Shut the fuck up, asshole! I'll kill him, then I'll kill you too!"

"Dude, relax, you can take anything you want. I'm not gonna call the cops or anything."

The guy looked really disturbed. He was probably on drugs or something. He was looking to the sides, as if afraid of something and everything, his eyes wide open.

And then it happened.

The time had stopped. You barely registered what was going on.

The sound of the gun was all you could hear. The red on the floor was all you could see.

You assume the burglar ran away, but you didn't really care. You'd rather he'd shot you instead, then you wouldn't have to witness this.

You fall to the ground next to your lover. You hear a scream, and after you feel your throat burning you realize it was yours.

You barely notice the tears running down your face as you touch his hair, once nearly white, just like yours. Now it's tainted red.

OoOoO

You remember his eyes. The most beautiful red eyes you'd ever seen. They were once full of joy, of anger, of life… You remember how they were unfocused, lifeless, staring blankly at nothing. Staring at death.

OoOoO

"Dave, it's been a year, you need to get over this." John, your best friend since ever came to your house today, since you refused to get out for the last year.

"I'm perfectly fine, John. Now please leave, I have some important things to do." That's obviously a lie. You haven't done anything besides crying all night since the day Karkat was murdered. You're living off your friends' pity, because, of course, you don't have a job anymore.

"That's bullshit, Dave! You haven't left the apartment in a year! You are not fine and you don't have anything to do. You quit your job, you refuse to talk to anyone, you refuse to get help; I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Then don't do anything, just let me be."

He sighs, resigned. "Fine, if that's what you want… I just hope my best friend, the Dave I met so long ago, comes back to us someday." And then he leaves. You're alone again.

Alone with memories of him.

"The Dave you met died that night." You whisper.

OoOoO

You remember how it went from depression to addiction. You're not gonna ignore it, you're addicted. After sometime alcohol was the only thing keeping you alive. Barely.

You remember how you nearly starved yourself to death so many times, just drinking anything you could manage to get your hands on.

You also remember when you started having liver problems. Not a surprise, though, you already knew it would happen someday.

Your friends had long since given up on you. After that day at your apartment, John tried to contact you nearly every day, but after eight months even he had stopped calling.

For two months you were completely alone. Drinking all day, crying all night. You started having strange dreams: you saw yourself on the roof of your building, looking down the street, and Karkat was there. He was calling your name.

You'd decided that today was the day you would answer him. Today, exactly five years after his death, you two would meet again.

At the moment, while all the past five years play like a movie inside your head, you're standing on the edge of your building, looking down the street. Just like your dreams. A bottle of something, you don't really remember what, is lying empty beside you.

You look up and think of all the people that would somehow be sad if you go through with this…. Who are you kidding? They all abandoned you. It's as if you were already dead for them, anyway.

Then you look down. You can see Karkat there. He looks absolutely cute with that little pout on his lips. He's calling your name again. He asks what took you so long to answer him.

"I'm coming, babe."

And with that you jump. The feel of the wind in your face is like a soft touch. Like when he used to touch you. You hear his voice in your head and remember the moment he said those words.

OoOoO

"Hey, Dave." You were living together for two months now.

"What is it, babe?" You were watching TV; some shitty rom-com was on. It was a night just like any other.

"I love you"

OoOoO

"I love you too."