Title: Choices
Author: Pooky1234
Words: 700
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: Castiel/Dean
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester
Rating: PG-14
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Spoilers for Series 08x7
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters as they belong to Eric Kripke/CW; I'm just playing with them. Not sure who owns this icon. I hope they won't mind me borrowing it.
Notes: This is only short but I couldn't resist it. The line 'we both know that isn't true, Dean' kept niggling at my mind. I don't usually dabble in this fandom but hell after the last episode I think I may be hooked on this pair.
Choices
Castiel watched as Dean brooded. He'd been silent and withdrawn since Castiel had told him the truth about what had happened in Purgatory, the truth that Dean had blocked out, the truth that Castiel had chosen to let him go. Sam had left them to it no longer able to cope with the atmosphere. Dean paced back and forth trying to use up some of the nervous energy threatening to overwhelm him. Castiel watched as his hands turned into fists over and over again. At some point Dean was going to explode all over the situation. Castiel waited and stared out of the window into the night beyond.
'Why?' Dean said shaking Castiel out of his own thoughts. 'Why, Cas? Is it me? Do I mean so little to you that you wanted me to feel like hell for leaving you in that place? They're all dead, Cas; everyone I have ever cared for, except Sam. and I thought that you were too. You chose to leave me, Cas.' Dean was now still, staring at Castiel, his eyes imploring him to give the hunter a reason for what he'd done.
'You love me too much.' Dean simply stared at him, his face looked as if he'd realised something for the first time. He went to speak but Castiel raised his hand and stopped him. 'I can't live up to your expectations, Dean. I stayed there because I needed to be punished for my arrogance. I thought I was God, some all-powerful God, who could control things but instead I let everyone down, I let you down and I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear you looking at me; I didn't want you to love me.'
Dean shook himself. 'I don't love you,' he said firmly. 'Well, not like that. You talk as if we …. I don't love you, Cas. I can't …..' Dean's legs suddenly gave way and he found himself sitting on the edge of the bed his head in his hands. He felt Castiel touch his shoulder before he realised that the other man had even moved. A finger raised his chin and he stared into those blue eyes.
'We both know that isn't true, Dean.' Castiel watched as a single tear trickled down Dean's face. He fell to his knees in front of the man.
'I've tried to get away from you so many times. I've seen you with those women but you've never stayed with them and never truly been happy because your heart lies somewhere else. I can't be that person for you, Dean. I'm an angel of the Lord. I can't love one person more than another. I have to love all of mankind.'
Dean looked at him. 'Now who's lying to himself?' he asked quietly.
Castiel looked at the white room and the woman in the suit in front of him. 'What am I doing here?' he asked. 'Is this heaven?'
'Yes. You've been here before but you've forgotten. You're here now because you're important to us, Castiel. It's why we got you out of Purgatory. The Winchester Brothers need your help, and sweet as you and Dean are together you can't let your feelings for him overwhelm you. You can't love him unless ….'
Castiel's head jerked up. 'Unless?'
Naomi looked at him sternly. 'Unless you become human like him; then you can love him and he can love you. All you have to decide is who matters most. Do you love him enough to be mortal for him? Would he love a mortal you, or is it the angel he's in love with, not the man. You have to decide, Castiel. We'll give you a little time but you will have to decide. You will have to choose, mankind or Dean Winchester? Who do you want to serve the most?'