Chapter 1

accidentally telling you something

I am currently in the hogwarts library.
like always. It gives me a safe feeling . I love it . I love the silence.
I'm finally able to think ,but I don't know if that's something good ,though. because my thoughts make me relive the worst moments of my life .Over, and over again.
I love the smell. It smells like old books , parchment and ink . The sound of quills scraping on parchment and the rain that's softly tapping on the window, softly whispering my name.
And the books , I love the books . the way they are able to take me away . Away to my fantasyworld .They make me forget my life and the cruelty that haunts me within. They are always there for me . Whenever I need to forget my past .Whenever I need to escape .They never judge . They never ask why .They seem to understand my grief . They help me forget . That's why I love them . My life is certainly not about roses . My life sucks . You know being a pure-blooded witch isn't everything ,like some naive slytherins seem to think.

Every day.

Every second of my life. I remember it . I can't seem to forget it . Every night I relive it in my nightmares. I lost her . I still remember the look in her eyes .I will never see her again . It's grindelwald's fault .He killed her . He killed my mother . I'm so glad that professor Dumbledore defeated him .That day .
It will haunt me forever. It will haunt me until the day I die .

It happened 7 weeks ago .But to me it seems like yesterday. The summer holiday just started. But I missed my two best friends Sara and Clio already .
So we agreed to meet each other in Diagon Alley that day . That day , I woke up carefree and happy .(Wonder when that will happen again ) .I still remember looking up in the emerald eyes belonging to my black cat Nelly , which were scaring me to death . Her eyes were pleading me for food .
I didn't expect to see that when I opened my eyes .

''Nelly'', I said accusingly ,while stroking behind her ear . ''You really scared me off . Don't you ever do that to me again will you ?'',I said smiling.
I came out of bed ,looked in the mirror and gasped out of shock upon seeing my reflecting staring back at me . My usually curling brown hair was now looking like a strohalm and my icy-bleu eyes were looking rather shocked. Immediately I looked at my alarm clock . It was already 9 o'clock ,I discovered with an other gasp.
I have to be there at 10 . ''Shit !''

I dressed quickly and attempted to tame my brown tresses. Nelly looked up at me questioningly before she jumped of my bed . She walked out of my bedroom door with her tail high up in the air. When I was finished with my hair I walked downstairs. And there she sat .My mother.
She was reading the Daily Prophet ,while some pans were preparing her breakfast behind her in the kitchen .
A low hissing sound was noticeable when the bacon touched the smooth black surface of the frying pan spreading a delicious smell through the whole room .
I could see the sun shinning through the window that took up half of the wall . Nelly came purring to me the minute I walked in .
I walked to my mother ,carefully though because Nelly tried to tackle me because I ignored her . I sat across my mother .
''Good morning'', she said airily when she realized that I was in the room . ''why are you dressed this early in the morning '',she asked looking a little puzzled.
''didn't I tell you ?'',I asked being a little puzzled now myself.
''I'm going to Diagon Alley with Sara and Clio today ''.
''Oh ,now I remember' she said smiling triumphantly . when do you have to be there ?''.
''10 o'clock'', I answered . ''well, you can have my breakfast ,because I don't think that you will make it otherwise,
but you have to give Nelly some food first ''.
Nelly reacted immediately when she heard her name and the word food in one sentence . She started purring again, which she stopped because I was ignoring her .I pulled my wand out of my pocket and levitated the cat food into my hands .I walked to the corner where her feeding through was standing and gave her some food .
When I turned around to fetch my own food , I saw that the pans were cleaning themselves Already.
I've got to go learn those spells ,I thought , while I sat across my mother .

That was the last time I saw her , looking so peaceful , calm and carefree . She looked at me , while I was eating . That was the last time I saw that eyes that are the spitting image of mine looking so relaxed , lovingly and happy back in mine . I wish that I had looked better , that I just hugged her or something. But I didn't .
How was I supposed to know that it was the last time I saw here the way she was.
I miss her. I miss her every single day of my life . I don't know if I will be able to get over the pain that I feel .
Maybe. Maybe if I hadn't such a good time that day . She would still be here. Maybe if I was on time I could've stopped it all . Maybe if I and Sara didn't flirt with the ice-cream-boy, if we didn't went eating something . I would've been on time to stop it all .

When I apperated back home . I already had an ominous feeling . A cold and slow shiver went over my entire body , while the hairs of the back of my neck stood up. Without knowing the reason a feeling of pain , loss and despair caught up with me .
I quickly opened the door , not knowing what to expect . Not knowing what I would find . What I saw I relive in my nightmares . It's what I'm trying to escape every day of my life . I catched a glimpse of a tall dark figure just before it fled out of the backdoor . But that was not nearly as shocking and scary as what was laying on the floor .
My mother . The women I cared the most about. The women I care the most about . Was laying before me . she was laying on the ground, while she and the floor around here were covered in a dark red liquid .

''Blood'', I realized with a shock .Her robes were teared apart . My heart shattered because I saw her like that . She always seemed so strong to me , I couldn't bare seeing her laying on the ground . broken .
I ran towards her . It felt like an eternity to reach her, in reality it were only seconds.
But to me it felt like being underwater .Every sound was a little whisper of what it used to be , every move was trice as hard , every colour lost his beauty and sharpness. The only thing I saw was my mother laying there, shattered on the ground .
I kneeled besides her head .I Laid it between my two shaking hands and let it rest on my lap .
A stream of blood dripped of her temple into my lap , but I couldn't care less .
She looked at me , her eyes drowning in pain , the emotion fear written on her face . Her grey- bleu eyes were getting emptier by the second.
She was slowly slipping away , while I was so desperately holding on to her .
I tried to apparate to st . Mungo's, but it didn't work . They must have put a spell on this place , my panicking mind thought .
My world fell apart when I realized what that meant .
She opened her mouth , her breathing was difficult , rasping and jerkily .She was coughing and tried to speak . She spoke and that was the last time I heard her voice .It was a weak shimmer of what it used to be .

''V-v-van-nessa'',she cought .''P-p-lease …. Be …. H-hap-py …prom- miss .. m-m -me .. that – ''
That were her last words , they took all her energy .
Not knowing what she tried to say is destroying me . She left this world without being able to finish her last sentence . Her eyes became glassy and empty .
She was still looking at me .

And then her breathing stopped.

I just sat there not realizing what just happened . Her lifeless head still on my lap . My thoughts kept on replaying the last moments until I realized what happened.
A single tear escaped out of my eye fled on my cheek and hid in my mother's hair , Leaving a watery trail . That was the start of a crying fit .
'She is gone !', I realized with a sob . Gone.
Gone for ever .

I stared for the last time in her emotionless empty eyes ,before I lifted my hands to close them .I started rocking back and forwards.
''No!'', I screamed. ''Mama, why are –'',my voice broke halfway in the sentence .
''Mama!?'', I cried with misery . ''W-why '', I sobbed.
Nelly came running to me trying to comfort me . She is all I've left I realized with an other sob . I was shaking all over . The door opened and people came walking in the hall were everything happened. I didn't care . ''Mama why ?'',I kept on screaming . My cheeks were soaking wet . My world the way I knew it was no-more .
I felt an comforting arm on my shoulder coming out of now were. I looked up right through the half-moon-glasses in Dumbledores bright bleu eyes.
I turned around and sobbed on his shoulder .I never cried so much in my life , ever .
''Every thing will be all right , miss Dubeaux'', Dumbledore said in his wise and comforting voice. I looked at him with my watery eyes , while my breath and heartbeat slowly returned to their normal speed . ''Everything will be fine'', he repeated in the same calming voice when he helped my up .
''Prof. Dumbledore , sir ?'',I said. ''Who did this ?'', I whispered , my voice reflecting my emotions. Dumbledore looked at me not knowing if he should tell me everything he knew. ''why us ?'', I said with an other sob .

''Vannessa '', he said still looking in my eyes. ''This '',he said while pointing at our hall . ''Is Grindelwald's work . I believe that this is because your mother ,one of the best healers in ST. Mungo's , refused to work with him ''.

I still remember the way I felt when grindelwald was defeated three weeks later . It was the happiest I had felt since that day I lost my mother . In that same week , I decided to keep my mother's house . It turned out to be a pretty good week . Clio and Sara came over , to help me , make me feel better , get used to the fact that I was an orphan now.( my father died when I was only 3 years old )
I got an Hogwarts letter to , which said that I would become headgirl . That meant that I would share a commonroom with the headboy .
The letter didn't say who that was but it had to be Tom Riddle .
I would share it with one of the hottest guys in hogwarts, not the nicest , but still very good to look at .
I still remember being confused about how I was able to be grieving and blushing when Tom Riddle occurred in my thoughts .

I should stop thinking , though . I should stop thinking about what happened that night seven weeks ago . Maybe when I stop thinking , I will stop feeling this pain .
But I can't stop thinking , it's my nature . Maybe if I wasn't Rowena Ravenclaw's heir . Ok , that was a very stupid thought .Maybe I just need a distraction , maybe I just --
Suddenly a loud bang waked Vannessa out of her thoughts . she was in the library and tom Riddle was standing in front of her .
He just dropped a book on the table . Which caused the noise .
Feeling her temper rising she angrily said :''You scared the hell out of me , Riddle.

What was that for ?'' .
''I didn't do that impurpos '',he said smirking triumphantly. I blushed.
Why does he has to be so handsome ,I thought .While trying to shield my uneasiness I replied : ''I don't have any reason to believe that , do I ?''
He looked in my eyes.
I couldn't think straight because of it . He sat across off me . He quickly lost all his interest in me and returned to his book .
Leaving me to my thoughts, again.

That's another reason for going to the library ,I thought while letting a sight escape .
Riddle looked up at me again . I catched a glimpse of confusion in his mysterious bright bleu eyes just before he shielded his expression again. I looked up in his impenetrable emotionless mask.
I looked at my hands feeling a wave of redness waiting to hit the surface that was the safest thing to do .
''Something wrong , Dubeaux ?'',his deep and irresistible voice asked me with a tone that was the spitting image of his emotionless face .
I looked up at him , immediately regretting it as I turned a dark red shade when I felt his gaze upon me .
''No, there is nothing wrong'', I quickly answered.
''Could you be a little less disturbing then'', he said letting it sound more like a command the a request .
so I obeyed .

once again left to my thoughts. So I just enjoyed the incredible view. He quickly lost his interest and turned to his book again . While I loosened my bronze-blue ravenclaw tie ,my thoughts were once again about my view, and what an incredible one it was .
His beautiful black hair , that looked way to neat, fell into his face making him more mysterious and handsome then he already was ( if that was even possible ).
He moved a little bit closer to his book making the sun reflect on his headboybadge.
I realized with a shock that I was doomed. I like watching Tom Riddle way to much . ''Oh ,Merlin . Do I fancy him ?'', I asked myself . He's a slytherin for gods' sake ,a very handsome one , but still a slytherin . I fancy tom riddle I realized with a shock .
Something ,
I don't know what , but something about him is not good ,evil . And the scary bit is that I like it . He is so fascinating . I don't understand him .
''Er….. Riddle'', I said remembering what headmaster Dippet asked me .
He looked at me , this time clearly annoyed . His beautiful ocean coloured eyes narrowed .
''what's it , Dubeaux?'', he said in a tone that said I'm definitely annoyed and want to go on minding my own business.
''Er….
Headmaster Dippet asked me , to tell you that we have a prefect meeting in our commonroom tomorrow at 7 o'clock''.
He smirked. He probably smelled my discomfort .He's like a predator he always seem to sense my discomfort.
''What ?!'',I doubtfully asked . ''Nothing'', he said with a dark look on his face his smirk widening .He looked me in the eyes and added, ''I know that's just the beginning of the year and that you're not used to being headgirl , but you should feel a little more comfortable around me for this to work''.
He paused. And smirked again.

You could say that I was shocked .
''Why do you think I'm not comfortable around you ?'',I asked daringly forgetting my shyness and starting to loose my temper .
''Oh , …….. nothing'', he said adding a knowing grin. He returned his attention to his book again ,leaving me flabbergasted.
How arrogant of him .
Even when he has a point , or is right . he doesn't have to rub in my face .
''I have to go'', I said in a emotionless voice ,fighting the urge to shout what wasn't smart because it would angry , mr. Touch, the librarian.
He didn't look up ,but I thought I saw him smirk , but that could have been my imagination.
I don't know what I see in that Riddle , I thought while I was walking out of the library my temper still rising .
Ok , I do know what I see in him but , arghhh….
I was so angry hat I didn't paid attention to were I was walking .
The next thing I knew I bumped into Abraxes Malfoy and fell on my arse.

''You can't get enough of me, can you?'', he said with an arrogant look on his face that rarely left his face .
That did it .
''What is it with you slytherins'', I angrily said while standing up . ''You are all …. A bunch of… of arrogant jerks'', I said through gritted teeth not able to control my anger I couldn't come with good insults. ''I can't stand you and your arrogance'', I screamed in his face . ''sure you can't'', he said with a smirk while going trough his silky blond hair with one hand . ''Don't say things you will regret later'', he warned.
''Is that a threat?'' ,I asked him forgetting my anger . ''that's what you're making of it'', he said with a grin on his arrogant face .
Just before he turned and left he winked at me .
Aarg .. what is it with slytherins, I thought.
Even when they are handsome they don't have to act like bloody gods.

I went to the great hall not expecting to see anyone there because it was only 5 o'clock .
You could say I was a little shocked when I walked in and saw every-one eating already.
I walked past the slytherin table towards the Ravenclaw table and pushed myself between Sara Brown and Clio Rox , my two best friends.
When they saw me looking so puzzled between them .
They glanced a meaningful glance at each other before Clio asked me :''What's wrong ?'',her emerald eyes looking a little worried.
''Why is every-one eating already it's only 5 o'clock , did I miss something?'', I asked.
Sara just started laughing.
''I think you missed something already. You missed a whole hour. It's already 6 o'clock '',she said her voice dripping in amusement.
''Being in the library lately ?''Clio asked while looking at me with a face that couldn't hide how interesting she found this .
''Enjoying the view ,weren't you ?'',she asked . I couldn't help but giggle.
They know me to well , I thought , while Clio started speaking again .
''That's a yes isn't it Sara ?'',Clio said teasingly to Sara .
''I personally think she was looking at her favourite slytherin, weren't you?'' ,Sara added.
''He really is handsome though'', she said.
''But I would watch your back if I was you . I don't know what ,but something about him creeps me out'', she warned.
''Maybe it's just because he's a slytherin '', she said .
''You should date a gryffindor , they are good'', she said while giggling and waving at Simon Potter ,who eagerly waved back .
''So anything happened what we should know ?''Clio asked .
''Er…. Yeah well '', I said while feeling ashamed again.
''You know how I keep on blushing when he looks at me ?''. They both started giggling at that words.
''You know ,I will start from the beginning''. I told them everything that I remembered . What he had said ,how he said it and with what facial expression .
When I told them about Malfoy Clio looked at me rather amused. ''you really have something with slytherins don't you ?''she said in a amused voice .

Everybody was slowly leaving the great hall, heading to their dorms while we were still talking and giggling .
''shall we finish this in my common room ?'',I asked . ''Of course ''Sara said .''I've always wanted to see the headboy/girl commonroom ''.We walked past the slytherin table on our way out and I noticed that Riddle wasn't there. Strange , I thought while walking to the second floor.
I stopped in front of a painting with a beautiful white unicorn on it and a witch with long blond hair that reached the ground .
The witch looked at me and asked in a bored voice : ''password''.
''Civilize'' ,I answered . The potret opened with a creak . I went through it first closely followed by Clio and Sara . I heard them gasp when they saw the room .
And I heard Sara whisper: ''wow''.
A bright warm fire was lighting the room from the fire place .
The black leather sofa's looked inviting and a beautiful green with blue, silver and bronze carpet with a snake and raven intertwined was laying on the floor .
The stairs and the silver with blue kitchen was visible from where we were standing .
I flopped down into the sofa followed by Clio and Sara .
''So'' ,Clio said .
''You share all this with Riddle ?'' I nodded. ''And upstairs there are two bedrooms and a very large bathroom ,but I will show you later''.

I sighted.
''What's wrong ?'',Sara asked while putting her blond hair behind her ears. ''I'm doomed '', I whispered. ''I fancy Tom Riddle'', I said softly .
''I love his hair , his eyes his charisma. I like him more than is good for me''. ''I wished that he came in here and just snogged me senseless''. ''Get it out girl'', Clio said while giggling .
''I Vannessa Dubeaux fancy Tom Riddle'', I said
''Louder'' ,Sara encouraged me . ''Ok , I Fancy Tom Riddle'' ,I screamed.
''I WANT TOM RIDDLE TO COME IN AND SNOG THE LIVING DAY LIGHT OUT OF ME !. I VANNESSA DUBEAUX FANCY TOM RIDDLE''.
I just wanted to say how a relief that was when a creaking sound surprised me .
I had a bad feeling . And the fact that Clio and Sara were staring behind me and were looking rather pale didn't help a bit .I turned around to find myself looking in a pair of bright blue eyes belonging to Tom Riddle .I turned a dark red shade. Oh , Merlin did he hear me scream that .
Of course he did , only when he is stone-deaf he wouldn't ,I thought while looking in Tom Riddle's smirking face.

please review

because that's makes me a happy girl :p

A/N: if I misspelled something that's probably because I'm not English but Dutch :p, if you have questions about the story or you see errors in the story please review them and I will answer or edit my story . thanks .