Hello everyone! I now present the reviewed version of Behind these hazel eyes.

To rewrite this will take a long time, but even when I read the prologue now I feel this can become even better.

I will try to improve, please forgive me.

Anyways, enjoy.

I don't own Skip Beat!

Tokyo never rested. It was a painful truth for the man, who stood close to his window and faulted the world for its cruelty. The rain was pouring down outside, for hours already, but it did not make the streets any less crowded. Any time a the traffic lights switched to green, a flood of cars and pedestrians rushed on to their destinations. Groups of men and women, heading for Shinjuku or Roppongi to go out, hurried down the pavement hiding under colorful umbrellas. The lights of the cars in the night, sparkled in the puddles and raindrops. The city pulsed with life, the energy of every human soul almost palpable in the cold air.

Those who wished for a quiet sanctuary to mourn, could not hope for the neon lights to darken or the voices to to stop. It was a never ending day.

Tsuruga Ren was one of those, who were personally affected that this world did not acknowledge his pain and see the suffering. For the people out there this night was not different from the last one and probably the next one, too. But for him it was one of the nights that reminded him of his greatest loss.

The hand that rested on the small cupboard he was leaning against, clenched into a fist.

He pushed himself away from the window and sat on the couch. He found the remote control and watched as the drapes shielded his apartment from the outside world.

A glance at the clock confirmed his suspicion that he would not find any rest tonight. It was three in the morning. He fought with himself to leave the TV, but was again drawn to the DVD he knew, rested in the slot.

Her face flickered across the screen. Soft amber eyes looked at him tenderly.

It was her last project in Japan. He had not noticed that even weeks before the movie aired, she had stopped taking long term projects. With her whole dedication going to the film, she had still seemed busy.

Even now, after he must have seen the movie at least fifty time, he still marveled at her acting. Her to the point interaction with other characters, the display of internal struggle, the smart use of every tiny gesture. In his eyes, she was perfect.

A lot of others agreed with him, for the movie had become a raging success. The Japanese Academy Price had easily awarded her "Outstanding Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role".

She had never come to collect the trophy.

That evening, right after Ren had left the stage with his second prize, Takarada Lory had been the one to accept hers and read out a short letter from her.

She had thanked the public, the crew and her co-stars profusely, but it had lacked a certain quality that was uniquely hers. Something he had already been missing for half a year.

She had left in October. Her premiere had been two nights away, when she vanished from Tokyo, from Japan, from Ren's side. They had been becoming closer that fall and suddenly her number had been deleted, her locker cleaned out, her room empty.

All that she had left behind were letters. Six mere letters.

One was to the press. It was printed in the newspaper of her choice, those, who had never ruined her name deliberately. Another one had been for Kotonami Kanae. He didn't know its content, the letter that had been to Yukihito Yashiro was also unbeknownst to him. As well as the one to the Boss.

The letter to Fuwa Sho, he had read. It contained of one single word: Goodbye.

The letter to himself, he had memorized.

She had started with "Dear Ren".

It had felt so familiar to him. He smiled in the memory, when he had asked her to call him by his first name. It had been he 18th birthday. They had the annual Grateful-Party at the Takarada-Mannor, that resulted in the celebration of her birthday. In the morning she had been away with Kanae, to do whatever girls do.

But in the evening he had fetched her from tea at the Daruma-ya and taken her for dinner. It had been simple and in a small restaurant, but that was the way she liked it best. He had not arranged for candles or romantic background music, therefore the atmosphere had been relaxed and nowhere awkward. Nevertheless the evening had been fantastic to both of them. It had been the beginning of a much closer, more equal bond.

Or so he had thought. Bitter betrayal flared up as he once more looked at the by now battered letter.

Why did she leave me? The question had been his constant companion for the last two-and-a-half years.

He allowed himself to sigh, something he did only in the refuge of his home.

And what a home it was. Like his whole life it felt only cold and miserable. He was empty inside and though only a few knew, he was aware of the fact that this was not how he could continue for another two years.

Not being closer to the solution than he had been on the last night he got up to make another cup of coffee. He could at least try to be productive.

He glanced at the document on the table, written exactly 30 months ago. She had left him with nothing. And still, he thought, I love her. What a pathetic being he was. Would she knock on his door now, he wouldn't send her away.

As Tsuruga Ren committed his tired mind to the simple task of making coffee, the letter still lay innocently on the table, never aware how much pain it inflicted with its words.

Dear Ren,

I am truly upset I have to leave you behind with nothing more than a few written lines.

After all, we know each other for such a long period of time, it seems ridiculous to me to behave this way.

By now, you must have gathered that I have come to an important decision.

I am leaving Japan.

I don't know how long I'll be gone, but please understand that I need to rid myself of the chains Sho still has on me. I feel caged as an actress as well as a person, when he reminds me everyday of the power he still has over me.

I need to be free, Ren and I need to get away to find myself.

Note that this is not a rushed decision, I thought this through carefully and have already made the necessary arrangements.

Please know that when I leave I am sorry to cut ties like this.

Please stay well,

Kyoko

Note this is not betaed. I was just trying to get into the story again it's been a long time.

I would love to know your opinion on this new one.

Love, Cold Moon