Author's Note: I do not own anything Twilight or anything affiliated with Twilight.
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up before September ends…..
I stared out at the grey bleakness of the sky that stretched across the vast openness that was the sky. I wish I could say that it was good to be back but that was of course a lie. Being back in Forks, to live with my dad was just god awful if I was being honest.
Goodbye sunny blue skies, warm windy weather. Goodbye Los Angeles… Hello… dark depressing wet yucky Forks.
I slid a glance over to Charlie. My father. Also known as the police chief around these parts of the woods. Seemed like things never changed, even after the ten years of being gone.
Already I was missing my loud crazy loving friends, the welcoming lively beaches, the chic fashionable trendy shops , gourmet restaurants and of course, the bubbling chaos of the city life.
I could already feel myself feeling restless and I have been back for all of forty five minutes. Was this how my mother felt when she up and left, with me in tow?
"It's good to have you Back, Bells," Charlie said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I turned my head to look at him and attempted to give him a smile, even a weak one was certainly attemptable.
"Mhm…" I mumbled incoherently, still staring out the window.
I know that being a teenager, we tend to have are over dramatic and over exaggerating attitudes but I really did believe at that very moment, that my life was over.
…
Twenty minutes later…
We finally pulled up to the house that I used to call home. At seven years old, I had a lot of fond memories here… but not many that I could remember now.
The house still looked exactly the same, except for the newly constructed balcony that was connected to the one of the upper window.
Home Sweet Home, I thought to myself as I made my way inside.
"You haven't changed much," I observed.
"No, not really," Charlie said coming up next to me. "I didn't really much worth changing."
"You added a balcony," I said.
"That was for you Bells…"
I nodded, not exactly sure what else to say. The conversation had drifted into an awkward silence. There was so much to say, yet nothing was being said.
"We don't have to do this," I replied, trying not to let the anger leak into my voice. I failed, because the look of hurt that crossed Charlie's face made me feel slightly bad.
He stayed silent, but I could sense the unvoiced confusion, so I continued.
"This whole small talk, not knowing what to say to each other," I explained. "There's nothing to say. Nothing you can say that will make this all better."
"Bells…" Charlie started to say but I rudely interrupted.
"Don't," I interrupted. "She's dead. And I'm here… And she's not coming back." I felt the tears and rush of emotion start to spill out. But the last thing I wanted was to break down in front of him. I wouldn't do that.
I picked up my bag and rushed upstairs. I knew which room was mine of course. After all… nothing had changed… Everything was the same. Everything but my mom being alive… That was different..
I grabbed my ipod from my purse and slid the earbuds into my ears as I sank down into the mattress.
I let the music take over, music was the one thing that helped me when I need it.
the lyrics flowed over me and I felt the tears start bursting out.
Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low…
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you're feeling low
And you let her go…
I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I turned to look at Charlie who was sitting on the edge of my bed. I sat up and took the earbuds out of my ear.
"I miss her so much," I cried, my body trembling.
"I know you do Bells," He said softly, gathering me into his arms.
It wasn't until that moment, did I actually let myself feel… just how much I missed my mom. I let myself sink into Charlie's arms and let the tears and the sorrow pour out.
This was my home now, and Charlie was the only one I had left. We only had each other now. And as much I was hurting, I know he was hurting just as well. I know… because I was the one who hurt him… with my cold indifference… After all these years…
"I'm sorry," I whispered into his shoulder. Charlie just hugged me tighter.