Where am I going? What am I going to do now? These are the thoughts running through Kris' head as she briskly walks along the highway. She knows it's not safe to walk this stretch of road, especially not at night; but she has no other choice.
She's trying all she can not to cry. She already cried her heart out on the way to see Wildfire. She doesn't know how she could possibly screw up more than she had. Matt, Jean, Todd, Pablo: they mean the world to her. She would do anything for her family.
Yes, Jean kicked her out; but she was only doing what was best for the family. Even to Kris it seemed that it was the only thing left to do. The ranch was falling down around their ears and SHE was the one to blame. At least that's what she kept telling herself.
So, yep, she would do anything for the family she loved. In this instance she was going to do what Dani had suggested not too long ago—disappear.
She left her cell phone at the ranch on purpose. This way no one could contact her. She cancelled her number and saved a few important numbers like her brother's and Winn's—the people she was going to have to count on now. She deleted them from the phone before leaving. No use leaving any clues to her whereabouts. If you're going to disappear, NO one should be able to find you.
Irony is a word she doesn't use too often but she thinks about it now. How ironic is it that the only people in the world that she can turn to are the ones she ran away from? Jace was right. Damn him! She thought. He knew that sooner or later she was going to need him.
Maybe I don't, she thought. Maybe I can make it on my own. She had a little bit of money. Just maybe it would be possible to completely disappear. Would she really be able to do that? No more Ritters and no more Junior was one thing, but no more brother or no more past? That was a truly scary thought—one she is definitely going to think about. But she has all night, it's not like the road will end anytime soon.
Cars have been zooming by every few minutes or so, leaving a puff of smoke-like air from their tailpipes. It's really cold outside, but at least it's not snowing.
Just then Kris notices a different noise. Instead of a car's motor getting really close really fast before passing her, she hears a motor getting closer but moving slowly. She turns to look back and sees a car has pulled to the side of the road behind her.
She doesn't recognize the car. She tries crinkling her eyes to see into the windshield, but the headlights are too bright.
Sighing deeply—hoping it isn't some pervert—she walks over to the passenger side door. The window rolls down as she leans her head down to peer inside.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, truly perplexed.
"I have a proposition for you. Come in out of the cold so we can chat. If you don't agree to my request, I'll drop you off wherever you want and tell no one I've seen you."
Kris looked away and bit her lower lip. She shoves her hands in her pockets because she is prone to fidgeting in the middle of conversations like these. She looks at the long road in front of her. She feels the soreness in her feet and every inch of her is freezing. She looks back into the car.
"Why do I feel as though the devil is about to make me a deal I can't refuse?"
There was no response from the vehicle's driver who just looked at her with an almost smirk.
Kris looked down, took a deep breath and grabbed the door handle. She pulled the door open slowly, almost gingerly, before sliding into the seat. She placed her bag on the floor in front of her between her legs then closed the door quickly.
"Good choice. I think I have the answer to all of your problems and you have the answer to all of my problems. Hear me out."
Kris gulped and prepared her self—this wasn't going to be fun or pretty. It never is when you're dealing with Ken Davis Sr.
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It wasn't Ken Davis's plan that was shocking her. The real shock came in to play when she realized she was actually considering his proposal.
"That's just crazy. How would…I mean…why would…I mean…I don't know what I mean!" she was almost yelling in frustration by the end of her stuttering tirade.
"It's very simple really," Davis said.
"Simple is not the word I would use. Yep, crazy is definitely it. Why would you even want me to do this? You don't like me and you have never accepted me!"
"I think you have spunk. You're definitely devious—that's what a Davis is all about. And my son is in love with you. To tell you the truth, I'm desperate. Because of your little race today, Dani lost her racing license. She has given up. She signed all her interests in Davis Farms over to Junior earlier then she left."
"Um, okay, sorry for Dani, but I still don't understand why you'd approach me," Kris mumbled in confusion.
"The last time my son had controlling interest of this farm he sold it! I will not let that happen again. I do not want my son to leave either. This is his legacy. I want him to take on the family business. That's where you come in." Davis explained.
"Hmm?" Kris was listening.
"Your problems are all financial. The Ritter's are in financial ruin. They are holding onto the ranch but they have no capital to rebuild. You have no job and nowhere to go—at least not somewhere you really want to go. My problem is Junior. Like I said earlier, if you help me with my problem, I can help you with your problem," David cleared his throat.
"I am prepared to offer the Ritters a loan of two million dollars. I will approach them with the offer as friends. There will be very low interest that will not begin until a year from now. You will come back to Davis Farms with me where you will work as a ranch hand. I will provide you with a place to live and a bigger salary than you ever made with the Ritters."
Wow, Kris thought, that's huge. It would fix everything… I just don't know if I can… her thoughts trailed off as she looked at Davis and spoke.
"Do I look like a whore or a slut? Do I look like someone who can be bought? All of that would be amazing, I'm just not sure if the price is something I'm willing to pay," she spit the words out between clenched teeth.
"You've been with Junior before. I'm almost positive you still have feelings for him. Take the deal Kris. Move to the ranch, date my son and make him happy. As long as he's happy, he will stay. I know you better now, Kris. I know you're not after his money. I wish I could go back two years. If I could do it again, I'd never make him choose," Davis seemed almost earnest. It was really creepy.
She looked away, clenching her eyes tightly closed. She couldn't make a decision like this so fast.
"Is that all I'd have to do? No other rules I have to follow? I mean, I guess I wouldn't be allowed to quit."
"No, you wouldn't be able to quit—not until the money is paid back. You will also never spend time around Matt Ritter again—especially alone. Since you will be dating my son, you will not date anyone else. Matt has been Junior's best friend forever. I know what's been going on this past month. Junior is in a lot of pain because of this betrayal."
Silence met his response. She still faced away from him, wondering if this is something she really could do. It would help out the Ritters so much, but it would break her heart. Never see Matt again? If she agreed to this deal she would never want to see any of the Ritters again—it would be too hard.
"I'd have to stay until the loan is paid back?" she inquired.
"Yes. By that time Junior will be so bogged down and involved in the business, he would never leave," Davis said.
Could she really do that to Junior? He has his dream of bull riding, and she knows that so many other dreams are just waiting for him to realize them. Could she take all that away from him? Could she, once again, choose her family over him? But this time it would mean his downfall.
Silence filled the car as she struggled with her decision. She had said she would do anything for her family. Was this a decision she could live with?
Memories filled her mind of the joy in her heart as she ran to jump into Junior's arms. He smiled at her with such warmth and tenderness as she wrapped herself around him. She had thought at the time that they would never let go. She remembers the night Flame was conceived. She told him that it was all a mistake but she lied. She was just running away from him. She was scared. She didn't want to ruin his life. She remembered that perfect night last year when he gave Flame to her and with one last plea asked her not to leave for Europe. He confessed his love and his devotion. It was one of the best nights of her life!
Her thoughts circled forward to the look on his face when he found out the truth about her and Matt. Guilt had raged through her as his eyes glazed over and all expression left his face. He had shut down. He looked like a man who had lost everything. She had tried so badly to make him understand. But she asked too much of him. How could he ever understand and accept his best friend and the only person he's ever loved together?
"No," she whispered.
"What?" Davis looked at her, clearly a little stunned.
"No. I will not do this. Drop me off at the bus depot in town please," she said more firmly.
"What else do you need? C'mon Kris, I can make this worth your while. You'll never go without again. What about the Ritters? This could be the only chance they have to pull through. You wouldn't want them to lose it all," Davis tried to reason.
"I said no. I've done enough damage to everyone's lives. The Ritters will pull through, I have faith in Matt," she at last looked him in the eye.
"What about Junior?" he said looking quite harassed.
"Junior is amazing. He has such beautiful dreams. I could never take those away from him. I have hurt him so badly already. I didn't want to be with him because I was afraid I'd ruin his life. Staying now would ruin his life. It would kill those dreams because he'd make new dreams with me in them. If he ever found out about this, it would destroy—" Kris was interrupted.
"He would never know. In fact, no one but us would ever know," Davis tried to change her mind.
"I would. And I'd live every day with the knowledge that I played him. I'm finally choosing him over my family," she smiled sadly. "It's a shame he'll never know that, but it's my decision. Now, take me to the bus depot. I will be glad to never see you again, that's for sure." She sat back in her seat and took a deep relaxing breath.
"Very well," Davis sighed in disappointment before starting the car.
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She sat all alone at the bus station on a bench and in the cold. Her thoughts kept her company. She still had no idea where she was going. She figured she'd take the bus that traveled furthest away.
Irony seemed to be the word of the night. She once again thought about running away. Jace said before he left that she was running away from Junior. It took her until tonight to admit that he was right.
She didn't send Junior away for all the reasons she told him. She didn't send Junior away for all the reasons she told herself. She sent Junior away for one reason, and one reason only. She loves him.
It almost hurt to think it, to admit it. She had never said those words to anyone. It was too scary to say. It was too scary to feel. Matt had told her those words, so had Kerry—but the kicker was that Junior had said it.
So she ran. She broke up with Junior. She kept running back and forth too in this on-again, off-again thing they had. She was trying to find a right fit. Some sort of relationship she could handle with Junior. Nothing ever worked. He always wanted more than she was ready or able to give.
That's why the relationship with Matt was so perfect. Matt never asked for more, and the feelings she had for Matt couldn't compare with the way she felt for Junior.
How ironic that she finally found the love that she was searching for and she threw it all away. She destroys everything she touches. She never means to, but she does it anyway.
She was trying it on her own now. No more family and no more romance. All her life she searched for a place to call home. She searched for a group of people to love her. It had always been her dream. Once she found it, everything had messed up. Clearly her dream was stupid. That wasn't the life for her. It was time for her to find out what she was truly made of. Could she make it on her own? She wasn't sure. But she was never going to find out unless she tried.
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The next morning she closed her bank account. There was a bank right next to the station so she didn't have to go far.
As she stepped up to the counter at the station to purchase her ticket, she took a deep breath.
This is it.
Her old life is over.
Today is the first day of her new life.
Maybe this time around she won't screw it up.
THE END
