The ancient looking flip phone buzzed obtrusively on the counter at the far end of Tony's workshop. Tony himself looked up toward the noise from where he had been tinkering with the latest mach Iron Man suit. It had been 6 months almost to the day from when he had received the phone in the mail, and for all he tried to keep it charged and ready, he never really expected to get a call. The phone was for him, to reach out if he felt necessary, which he didn't. So now, he stood staring down at the still buzzing object with confusion. He knew he was letting it go too long but he couldn't bring himself to answer.
It seemed to take ages but the buzzing did in fact stop, yet Tony continued to stare, wondering if he'd get a voicemail or a follow up text. He couldn't say he wasn't curious. 30 seconds later another buzz. A single, deafening buzz to indicate a voicemail. Tony let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding in a rush. With a shaky hand he picked up the phone, flipped it open and pressed the message icon before he could chicken out.
"Tony," Steves voice began solemnly. "I hope you're well. I," Steve paused and sounded unsure of himself. "We," he corrected, "need your help. I know I have no right to ask you for anything and I wouldn't blame you for saying no," he rushed. "But, you might be the only person..I mean, I don't want to guilt you into it...it's just Bucky needs help and, god, I just don't know who else to ask, Tony. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Call me, if you can. Please." Tony snapped the phone shut roughly and slammed it on the table.
"Are you okay, boss?" FRIDAY asked.
"Do you hear the message?"
"I did," she replied but did not elaborate.
"What do you think I should do?"
"Ignore him," she replied flatly. "Your choice, of course," she added in her Irish lilt.
Tony huffed a quiet laugh. "What could I possibly help Barnes with that no one else could?"
"Only one way to find out, boss. Although I'm not advocating for that decision."
"Yes, FRIDAY, your position is duly noted," he smirked. The phone buzzed again, one time, and this time it was a text. Tony opened the phone and read it:
-Tony, I don't know if you're going to listen to my message, and that's okay, but I just wanted to add that regardless of your decision to help I would like to talk to you. I need to apologize.-
Tony sighed as he hit reply.
-Not sure I care what you have to say, he wrote, and pressed send.
-Of course, I get that! Steve replied almost too quickly. If nothing else, just let me talk to you on the phone if not in person, a few minutes, I want to tell you how sorry I am. For everything.
-Now that you need something? Tony asked, getting angrier by the text. There was a longer wait this time for the next text.
-I should have reached out sooner. I sent the letter. But I should have called...I am sorry, Tony. And I miss you. But I know I almost killed you and there's no coming back from that. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, I just want the chance to explain this in person or at least on the phone so that you know how awful I feel about it. How much I regret everything.
Tony's hand subconsciously made its way to rub at his chest where the shield had been slammed into him 6 months prior. -Are you in New York? Tony replied.
-Brooklyn.
Tony rolled his eyes. Of course they were. -Come by the compound tomorrow morning, 10am.
-Thank you Tony.
Tony shut the phone, not bothering with a response. He slumped heavily onto the nearest stool, elbows on the table, leaning his head into his hands.
FRIDAY let Rogers and Barnes into the compounds entry way when they arrived the next morning and alerted Tony to their presence. Tony came up from the workshop, hands in his pockets to hide the fact that they were shaking. He kept a good distance between them when he stopped, staring and seemingly unable to offer a greeting.
"Hi, Tony," Steve said softly to fill the silence first. Tony nodded, glancing briefly at Barnes who stood there as awkwardly as Tony felt.
"Come down to the workshop," he said gruffly and turned and walked away before anyone could react. He wanted to be where his bots were, and all the Iron Man suits. He didn't really think that they were here to do harm but he was on the edge of a panic track and proximity to the suits could only help.
"Tony, listen," Steve started once they were all in the shop.
"No," Tony cut him off, bringing Steve's speech to a halt abruptly.
"I just," he started again.
Tony held his hand up as he spoke, "I just can't listen to whatever you have to say right now. I can't. This -you being here," he gestured around him randomly. "It's too much right now...I can't listen to you pretend to feel bad about what you did so what do you want from me?"
"What? Tony, no. I'm not pretending," Steve tried to convey his sincerity.
"Stop," Tony interrupted loudly. Taking his voice down a notch, he continued. "What do you need? That's all I want to hear from you right now."
Steve sighed, giving in for the moment. He looked back to Bucky standing behind him and gestured for him to step forward. "It's his arm," Steve said softly. Bucky stepped up next to Steve and made eye contact with Tony for the first time and offered a small smile, which kind of looked like a grimace. Like he knew how ridiculous it was for him to be asking for Tony's help. If he wasn't filled with so much anger at the moment Tony could almost appreciate that.
"Why me?" Tony asked simply.
"Wakanda is on lockdown right now, no one can get in. Some people found out where it was located and they're trying to minimize attention to the area." Steve paused, running his hand through his hair and looking over at Bucky. "I know this is insane, coming to you, after everything." Tony laughed at that, mirthlessly, but let him continue. "I just don't know how long we'll be out of touch with Wakanda, it's already been weeks and the arm got damaged in a fight against some Hydra thugs a couple weeks ago. He's in a lot of pain. And we have a high tolerance with the serum so for him to even admit that says a lot. And every once in awhile it's like this energy surge or shock or something runs through it and practically knocks him out. It's not like we can go to a hospital... I didn't know what else to do, but I had to try something."
"'Cause he's your friend," Tony said flatly, echoing Steves words from their fight months ago.
"Jesus, Tony," Steve murmured sadly. Tony fixed him with a stare for a moment while sizing up the situation.
"I can look, no promises though. Wakandan tech might as well be alien." Tony gestured at Bucky to the stool next to his work bench. "Sit."
"Thank you," Steve whispered, relieved.
"Go upstairs," Tony said tightly. Bucky glanced between the two men.
"What?"
"Get out of this room, go upstairs," Tony repeated. "You want me to help him, get out."
"But why Tony I can just," Steve started but was cut off swiftly by Tony.
"Because everything in me is screaming right now to get away from you because you're trying to kill me," Tony snapped. "And while I know that that's not what's happening at this moment it doesn't matter. I am two seconds from walking out on both of you so if you want this done you will get out of my sight."
Steve looked hurt but he had enough sense not to fight back.
"Stevie go upstairs, I'm fine," Bucky told him, nodding in the direction of the door.
"He speaks," Tony murmured. Bucky smirked.
Steve nodded and retreated upstairs.
"FRIDAY keep an eye on him."
"Will do, boss." FRIDAY replied.
Bucky jumped at the disembodied voice. "What the..."
"It's my AI," Tony said, while gathering some tools. "Artificial intelligence," he added at Bucky's bewildered look. "She basically runs the place. And me," he added as an afterthought.
"And don't you forget it," she replied. Tony smiled. Bucky looked awestruck.
Tony stepped up to Bucky finally, about a foot away from where he sat on the stool, metal arm resting on the table. "Are you gonna try to kill me if I touch your arm?" Tony tried to say jokingly to ease his own anxiety.
"Then who would fix my arm?" Bucky replied so seriously that Tony couldn't help but laugh.
"Right, let's see then," Tony reached out and put his hand near the shoulder, feeling where the skin met metal. He expected Bucky to react but he didn't so much as flinch. He moved his fingers down the metal feeling and trying to get a gage as to how they made it work. The damage was just below the crease where the elbow would be and Tony could see it was pretty extensive.
"Can I say something?" Bucky asked, after a few minutes of awkward silence.
"You have a captive audience," Tony replied.
"I'm sorry about your parents," Bucky said softly. Tony froze. He didn't look up. He couldn't. He closed his eyes and tried not to hyperventilate. Once he trusted himself to speak he shook his head.
"Thank you for saying it, but, I get that you were controlled by Hydra. Doesn't make it okay, but..." Tony trailed off and shrugged. Bucky felt a mixture of relief for finally apologizing and confusion at Tonys understanding. Tony picked up a screwdriver and pried a small piece of metal back to get a better look at the damage. Bucky winced.
"That hurt?"
"A little. It's fine," Bucky replied quickly.
"I'm not trying to make this painful, tell me if something hurts," Tony insisted. Bucky nodded.
"Most of the feeling in the damaged area is gone. But the rest of it is pretty much like a regular arm. Shuri wanted it to be like having my real arm back, not just be functional."
"Does it come off?" Tony asked.
"Yes," Bucky answered reluctantly. He didn't like it being separated from him.
Tony sensed the hesitation and explained. "I can't exactly numb your metal arm to work on it if it's attached to you, it would just be needless pain. Take it off and I can work on it without worrying about that."
"Yeah, okay." Bucky reached up to his shoulder and pressed the release mechanisms, twisted it a little and then it released. He placed it on the table gently.
"You can stay sitting there near it if it makes you feel better or there's a sofa over there," Tony gestured behind him. Bucky didn't move, apparently making his decision. Tony continued to tinker with the metal appendage. "FRIDAY can you do a full scan of this so I can get the internal schematics?"
"Sure thing!" A minute later what looked like a map of the arm was projected into the air in front of Tony over the table and he studied it, moving it left and right for better angles.
"Why'd you send Steve upstairs?" Bucky asked suddenly and Tony dropped his screwdriver.
"You're killing me Barnes," he said, rolling his eyes. "I already told him why, you were here."
"But why him and not me, you know him. I'm a stranger and you know what I've done and yet you're alone with me down here."
Tony looked at him. "Yeah, I know him and look what he did. He tried to kill me."
"So did I," Bucky said.
"You were defending yourself from me. I attacked you. I shouldn't have, I'm sor-
"Oh god please no, don't apologize for that," Bucky said quickly. "I deserved every bit of that but you didn't." Tony was shocked into silence. "You really didn't," Bucky whispered, repeating the sentiment.
Tony shrugged, unable to reply, but Bucky continued to stare at him making Tony uncomfortable.
"I told Steve to go back for you, once we got back to the jet. He said your suit could call someone if you needed help. Is that true?"
At that, Tony looked up. "It would have been if he didn't destroy the fucking power source," Tony growled. "Listen, if you want me to get this done talking about Siberia is not going to help."
"Sorry," Bucky mumbled sadly. Tony shook his head, brushing it off.
"Boss," FRIDAY echoed suddenly. "Rogers is asking for an update."
"Still working," Tony said simply.
"He wants to know if he can come down for a minute," she asked after a moment.
"If he must," Tony answered. Bucky looked at him almost apologetically.
Steve walked down nervously a short time later. Tony felt a little smug that he at least wasn't comfortable at the moment.
"Hey," he called out as he walked closer.
"Hey Stevie," Bucky answered with a little smile.
"How's it going?"
"I took it off so he could work easier," Bucky replied. Steve nodded.
"You guys want lunch or something? I could order in or make something if you don't mind me using the kitchen. Least I could do is make you a meal." Tony rolled his eyes but bit his tongue against a sarcastic response.
"Use whatever you want," he replied tersely, head down and focused on the arm.
"Okay, thanks. Buck, you hungry?" Bucky glanced quickly at Tony and seemed hesitant to respond.
"You're gonna be here awhile, don't starve yourself on my account," Tony supplied.
"I could eat," he shrugged. Steve clapped his hands together, thankful to have a task to set out and complete.
"I'll be back soon!" He bounded up the stairs and out of sight.
"Are you going to let him apologize to you?" Bucked asked curiously.
"Why do you care?"
Bucky shrugged. "I don't blame you if you never want to even speak to him again. But, for what it's worth, he is genuinely sorry. He hates himself for what he did to you, it's eating him up." Tony wanted to reply 'good,' but he thought better of it. "He has nightmares about it."
"Join the club," Tony murmured.
"I'm sure its a million times worse for you," Bucky said honestly. "And I'm not defending him. At all. But it might help both of you move on if you can just talk a little."
Hearing Bucky speak so genuinely about the situation actually made Tony second guess his freeze out of Rogers.
"He's not good at 'feelings.'" Bucky rolled his eyes. Tony smirked.
"And you are, Mr. Winter Soldier Hydra assassin?"
"Please. Compared to Stevie, I sure am," he laughed.
"Wow," Tony shook his head.
"What?" Bucky asked.
"This is not how I pictured spending my Tuesday, that's for sure."
"Bonding with Bucky Barnes not on your to-do list?" Bucky smiled at him.
"Bonding? Is that what you think this?" Tony asked.
Bucky's smile fell and he suddenly became very aware that he probably crossed a line. "Um, I'm sorry, I was just...I didn't, Tony I'm so sorry," Bucky stammered.
"I'm messing with you. Jesus. Breathe," Tony told him, putting his tools down and looking at the man on the stool. Bucky did take a deep breath, looking pained as he did it. "Again," Tony ordered, when it seemed necessary.
"I'm sorry," Bucky gasped.
"It's fine, my fault, okay? Everything's okay, just keep breathing."
Bucky nodded. He twisted on his seat until he was facing the table so he could lean the elbow of his good arm on it and slump down a little. Tony patted him once briskly on his back and returned to the metal arm.
"I get them too, you know," he told Bucky quietly. Bucky didn't respond but Tony knew he was listening. "Panic attacks. Out of nowhere sometimes. Sucks, huh?"
Bucky glanced over through his fingers that covered half of his face. "Really does," he agreed.
Steve chose that moment to come back down, arms full of a large tray carrying a serving bowl and 3 smaller bowls, utensils and napkins.
"I made Mac and cheese," he announced. "I'm not a great cook but I think I've perfected this at least." He smiled hopefully.
"It is pretty good, I'll give him that," Bucky added, trying to shake off the edge of panic so Steve didn't see.
Steve placed the tray down on the coffee table near the sofa and scooped a large helping into one bowl and brought it over to Bucky, placing the bowl on the table and putting the fork in his good hand.
"Thanks, punk," Bucky said. Steve grinned and went back to the tray, scooping noodles into another bowl.
"I know you don't eat much when you're working," Steve said in Tony's direction. "I assume that hasn't changed anyway," he walked back to the table. "But, it's here if you want a break." He placed the food at the end of the table, away from the arm but in Tony's line of sight. Tony glanced at it and opened his mouth to reply but shut it again quickly. Now was not the time for a snappy remark. Instead he nodded once.
Steve grabbed a bowl of Mac and cheese for himself and with a nod to Bucky he headed back to the stairs to return to the main floor. Tony sighed and rolled his eyes, swirling around on his stool to face Steve. "You might as well eat it here. If you want."
Steve froze. "Yeah?" He asked hopefully.
"On the sofa," Tony added, not wanting Steve to crowd him at the table.
"Thanks, Tony," he replied softly, sitting at one end of the worn sofa.
Bucky smiled at Tony. "Nice of you," he whispered so Steve wouldn't hear.
"Well, maybe you were right. It would be nice to move on, say what we need to say whatever the outcome...it's just hard to start..." he trailed off.
"This is a start," Bucky encouraged. "It's good." Tony smiled and went back to the arm. Bucky saw Steve looking at him and knew he caught the tail end of that conversation with his serum enhanced hearing. Bucky winked. Steve smiled softly and went back to his lunch.
The meal passed in silence aside from the occasional clink of metal from Tony who continued to work. In a sudden move he dropped his tools on the counter and whirled around on the stool. "Did you bring your overnight bags? Pajamas and toothbrushes and all that?"
"Um, no," Bucky answered.
"This isn't going to be finished today, probably not tomorrow either so you might want to stay. Steve's still got rooms here. Whatever was there before is still there so you probably have what you would need..." Tony didn't make eye contact but Steve was shocked.
"You still have my stuff?"
"Wasn't mine to throw away," Tony answered simply. Tony was clearly uncomfortable and Bucky felt a pang of sadness for him. Tony grabbed the bowl of food, more for something to do with his hands than wanting to eat it. He gave it a stir and took a large bite. "This is fucking amazing," he said after he swallowed.
Bucky and Steve laughed at the same time. Tony shoveled more Mac and cheese into his mouth and the tension in the room dissolved, at least a little bit.
"My Ma taught me how to make Mac and cheese but I improvised a little with what was in the fridge. I added some Monterey cheese in with the cheddar because I didn't have enough but it worked out pretty well."
Tony hummed in agreement around his mouthful. "I want more," he muttered around a mouthful of noodles, holding his bowl out. Bucky laughed but Steve stood up immediately grabbing the serving bowl.
"Geez, the manners on you," he said smiling, attempting a bit of humor and hoping he didn't cross a line. He scooped more into Tony's bowl. "And don't think I missed that language you used a minute ago. No one here scolding you for that, huh?"
Tony laughed, he couldn't help it, it was so ridiculous to think of Steve Rogers admonishing him for swearing again that he couldn't hold it in. Steve looked delighted. "No, no one does that but you, Cap," Tony replied as his laughter died down but he froze at the slip of the nickname. His breath came harder as he realized how comfortable he'd been for a split second before reality hit him again. To his horror he felt his eyes begin to burn with tears. He tried to brush it off as if he were getting back to work but the tears came quicker now and there was no hiding it even as he turned his back on Steve because Bucky was beside him still. "Shit," he mumbled. "I have to work on this why don't you both go watch TV upstairs or something," Tony tried, hoping they'd take the hint, but Bucky wasn't having that.
"Oh come on, Tony. This is it, right here. The chance to say what you want and hear what he has to say."
"Tony," Steve started, expecting to be shut down but Tony stayed quiet. Bucky put his hand on Tony's shoulder and rubbed his thumb there for a second before dropping it back to his own lap. "I'm so sorry. I hate myself for how I treated you. Everything I did, none of that should have happened and I certainly should never have physically hurt you." Steve took a deep breath and continued. "I could have killed you. Almost did, and there's no excuse for that. I can't...I don't even know how it came to that, Tony. I'm so fucking sorry, I miss you so much." Steve's voice broke as he finished that sentence. "You might not ever want to see me again after you finish with his arm, and I wouldn't blame you for that. But, regardless of what happens from now on I promise I will never hurt you again. And I really am truly sorry." Steve swiped the back of his hand against the tears that threatened to spill from his own eyes.
"I think about it everyday," Tony mumbled, keeping his back turned. "I didn't care about the accords, if you wanted to disagree with them that's fine! That's politics we could have fought that out in a boardroom, it was that you found Barnes and suddenly nothing else mattered. I don't blame you for protecting a long lost friend but god damn it Steve...I thought you would care about me a just a little," his voice wavered. Steve reached out and put his hand on Tony's shoulder, waited to be pushed off, and when he wasn't he pulled so Tony's stool swiveled to face him. Tony didn't fight it. Tony looked up and saw Steves face wet with tears.
"Tony, I do care. Every decision I made back then was wrong and I wish I could change things. It just seemed like everything was against me bringing Bucky home. I didn't want to fight but I didn't like the idea of the Accords and then Bucky was a wanted fugitive, I just wanted him to be safe, for once in his life and I was blinded by it. So, we ran, and I fought...I didn't know what else to do."
"You tore the team apart," Tony said, sounding disgusted. "For him. Was it worth it?"
"I love him, Tony. He's my family. He's like my brother. I'd do anything for him...but, it shouldn't have been at your expense. It sure as hell never should have turned violent. That's all on me and like I said I'm so sorry." Steve sighed. "Do you think, I mean I shouldn't even ask, but is there any possibility that you'll ever forgive me?" Steve looked so damn hopeful, Tony turned away.
"I don't know," he replied truthfully. He tapped his fingers nervously on his thigh. "I need some time," he said finally.
"Of course," Steve answered quickly.
"Can you go upstairs now? Both of you? Please." He turned back to the arm.
"Yeah," Bucky answered for them. "Let's go watch TV, Stevie."
Tony worked another hour on the arm before needing Bucky to test out the sensors with it on.
He took the arm up to the common area where Steve and Bucky sat on opposite ends of the sofa silently staring at the TV.
Tony looked at the screen. "Harry Potter? Really?" Bucky smiled.
"Buck said I should see it. He said everyone should see it at least once."
"And how would Bucky know this?" Tony looked at him pointedly.
He shrugged. "Well I didn't exactly have a social life while I was in Bucharest. I got an apartment and I tried to catch up on a lot of missed time. I gotta say its a lot better like this than seeing it dubbed in Romanian."
Tony shook his head and laughed. "Okay, well, pause it. I need you to try this on." He held the arm out to Bucky who took it gratefully, snapping it back into place. "Flex your fingers, bend your wrist."
Bucky hissed in pain when he bent his wrist back at a certain angle. "What happened there?" Tony asked.
"Felt like a pinch or something sharp when I moved it that way. Otherwise felt good."
"Okay, I still need to tinker." Tony made grabby hands at the arm and Bucky took it off to hand it back. He started to walk away but slowed before he left the area completely. "Make yourselves at home. Like I said, your area's still all set up Steve but if there's anything else you need or want just ask FRIDAY."
"Thanks," Steve answered.
"You're not like, confined to this room or anything, in case you thought that." Tony looked at them and Bucky smirked. He quickly went back down to his workshop.
4 hours later...
"Boss. Barnes would like to know if you want dinner?" FRIDAY asked.
"Did they make something?"
"I think he plans to order in. They're looking at menus."
"Tell him I need to make a phone call and then I'll be up. Tell them not to order without me, Fri."
Twenty minutes later Tony walked in to the kitchen where Steve and Bucky were sitting on the chairs around the kitchen island, a couple menus spread out in front of them.
"Ready to eat?" Bucky asked.
"Yes, and I want pizza so that arguments settled," he said, seeing the pizza and Chinese menus in front of them. "But first, I have a proposition for both of you." He was nervous broaching this subject with them, Steve specifically. He bounced on the balls of his feet lightly, nervous energy coursing through him. Steve though, for his part, must have assumed it was important because he turned and gave Tony his full attention, hands clasped in front of him.
"What is it, Tony?"
Tony took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "I just got off the phone with the higher ups, so this is a legit offer. We can get you pardoned. Both of you. No more being on the run, hiding from the authorities, none of it."
"What's the catch?" Steve asked suspiciously.
"You would have be an Avenger again," Tony answered and Steve started to interrupt but Tony put his hands up quickly. "The Accords we're amended months ago. I think even you would agree with them now but I can get you a full copy to review. They were always amendable, we just needed to get to a place where we could change what we wanted. If you don't oppose them, we would be a team again." Bucky didn't miss the strain of hope in Tony's voice and he was pretty sure Steve caught it too.
"And you'd want that?"
Tony nodded. "I think we have a lot to work through but today was a good start."
Steve shook his head like he couldn't quite believe it.
"What about me?" Bucky asked so Steve wouldn't have to.
"You would have to go through mandatory therapy sessions with a Shield therapist until they deem that you are no longer a threat. While you're doing that you can live here or Brooklyn, wherever you want. Once you're cleared you would be offered a place on the Avengers. If you wanted it. Your choice. There's options. You'd both have options now." He spread his hands as if to say that's all he could offer but Bucky could hardly believe how great it sounded. "Take as much time as you want to think it through and decide. The offer doesn't expire."
Steve and Bucky stared at each other for minute, some silent communication that didn't include Tony passing between them, and then Steve looked back to Tony.
"The Accords. They're fair now? You think I'd agree with them?"
"I do. But, FRIDAY can have a digital copy sent to your phone in seconds, you can read them whenever you want," Tony assured him.
"We'll do it, Tony. All of it."
"I'm sorry, what? You didn't even read them." Tony was shocked.
"I trust you, Tony. You read them, you think they're better, I believe you."
"Okay you don't have to make some big gesture like this to prove you're gonna be nice to me, just read them," Tony laughed.
"I will, later," Steve said seriously. "But, we're accepting now. Right Buck?"
"Hell yeah," Bucky replied breathlessly. Tony looked back and forth between them shaking his head.
"Okay. Good...Great." Tony stood and offered a handshake to Bucky who took it excitedly. Steve's handshake or any contact at all was a longer time coming and felt monumental. He held it out to him and was proud to see it held steady. Steve grasped the offered hand and looked genuinely happy. He tugged a little towards himself and put his other arm out in a silent question but not forcing it. Tony rolled his eyes and closed the distance, letting their hands fall apart and bringing both up around Steve's back. Steve clapped him once on the back and then held on. Tony felt him shake a little and figured he might be crying. He let him have the moment and didn't pull away.
"Welcome home, Cap."