Memories of a Lost Brother
Written for the prompt : Dark Angel, Max, remembering Ben
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Memories of a Lost Brother
When Alec says it must be hard to look at him and not just see Ben, she wonders if he knows just how true that is . . . what makes it worse is she sees the Ben she couldn't save, not the one who'd been full of hope that she'd known when they were nothing more than children.
Ben had been special. He had a flair the rest of them had lacked, an imagination wilder and more vivid than she could ever have understood. He'd told stories, wove the images into pictures that even their limited minds could dream of. He'd been so sure there were answers on the outside, so confident that all would be well if they could just get out.
She sometimes wonders if Zach would have given up and not kept pressing them to work together to escape, if it weren't for Ben's stories.
Her heart broke when she saw her brother, when she realized what had become of him, dreams and hopes shattered as he tried so hard to reconcile everything they'd fought and escaped for with all that they found.
She doesn't know how he survived as long as he did. She didn't have him for long enough to find out what really happened to destroy the beautiful dreamer she'd once known. He'd been the image of hope for them all, a beacon in the dark days. They'd all held onto the belief that Ben's dreams would come true for them if they just held out a little longer.
She knew it had been a hard day when she'd realized that the reality of life outside would never be so easy, but she'd had friends, had a home, a job and some semblance of freedom by then. She wondered if Ben had ever had any of that, or whether he'd spent his whole life searching.
She'd failed him and now she had to live with that, although she wonders if he saw it that way or if he'd have believed she'd saved him.
Ben hadn't been made for this world . . . he'd been made for a better one and deep inside in a place she never admitted to, she hoped his Blue Lady had come and taken him, protected and loved him like he'd deserved before life had destroyed him.
Author's Note : A couple of people have asked if I will be writing anything longer. I am putting the final touches to a Losers story which is in excess of 60,000 words which is likely to start appearing in the next few days (look out for A Wolf Among Men) and am working on a longer Dark Angel story for a challenge. The dates of the challenge mean it's not likely to be seen until July or August. Prior to that posting time I hope to also complete other challenges for a Supernatural/Leverage crossover (the third/fourth part of the I Keep Your Picture verse), a Supernatural story and another Losers one - wish my muse luck - she's got a busy few months ahead! Thanks to everyone who's reading these posts. The comments and encouragement are much appreciated when I'm sitting down to try and tackle all these big stories.