I'm not sure what was more annoying. The fact that I couldn't seem to get warm, or comfortable, or that everyone around me was loud. And there were too many of them around me to begin with. All I wanted to do was drink my latte, read my new murder mystery and listen to the soft jazz overhead. Definitely not going to be happening. As I looked around the over packed Starbucks, I suddenly wanted to be back home, in front of a fire, maybe drinking wine. Just thinking about being home made me sit up slowly and close my book, sighing out. I tossed my book onto the table and started to put my big puffy black coat back on. With my head down, I didn't see the person who sat down at my table but for sure heard them. As I started to raise my head and stand, the man spoke. Freezing me right in my tracks. "Mind if I sit here?" My arms were through the holes of the coat and my mouth was hanging open. It was just my luck that the man who happened to sit at my table putting a pair of sunglasses down was drop dead gorgeous. He had short dirty blond hair pushed up and back off his face showing off flawless skin, bright green eyes, and pearly white teeth.
"Uhm...no...go ahead." I lowered my hands fast and watched the man pull his phone out of his jacket pocket and look down at it, still smiling. Without him looking, I was able to get a better look at him. He was wearing a suit underneath his long black pea-coat. He also looked to be at least a foot taller than me. And just from the angle that his neck was bent at I could see a tattoo on it. He was down right handsome and it made me a little ballsy. "I don't think I've ever seen you in here." He looked up fast, still smiling making me lean forward. "I literally come in here, everyday and read. Never seen your face before." He laughed glancing around at the crowded space around us before turning back to me and leaning forward.
"Yeah I uhh...I just moved here. One thing that is very similar to D.C. is the Starbucks. At least I hope it is." I nodded seeing him give me a look up and down, before stopping back on my face. I could tell I was blushing, but ignored it. "You know those books aren't very realistic." He nodded down to my James Patterson book making me frown and pick it up.
"Do you think that's why I read them?" He frowned tilting his head and I chuckled, slowly standing. "It's an escape. People aren't actually like the dirt bags in these stories. Or like the heroes either, for that matter."
"So do you read them to escape into the dirt bags stories? Or the heroes?" I smiled down at him as I grabbed my coffee and tucked my book under my arm. "What's your name?"
"Logan." He nodded and also stood up verifying to me that he is in fact about a foot taller than me. I opened my mouth to ask him his name, but was cut off by the barista from behind me.
"Kendall? I have a venti black coffee for you." He smirked and gently walked around me and went to the bar. I turned and watched him grab the coffee and slip a few bills into the tip jar. When he turned back to me I straightened up and tightened my grip on my coffee. He got right in front of me and still had that breathtaking smile on his face.
"Nice meeting you Logan. Maybe I'll see you around." I nodded and watched him turn and start to walk through the crowd, quietly saying excuse me as he went. I watched him, like a lovesick teenager until he walked out leaving me to feel like I was completely alone. I sighed out knowing I probably would never see him again and looked down to grab my phone off the table. As I did, I saw he had left his aviator sunglasses and quickly picked them up. I rushed out towards the doors hoping I would catch him before he left. As soon as I got out to the sunny, but freezing day I squinted and looked around at the busy small parking lot. I saw several cars, a few trucks and vans all pulling out but didn't see the tall blond cutie. I shrugged slightly putting his sunglasses into the pocket of my jacket and slowly walked down to my tiny black sports car parked right up in front of the coffee shop. As I got in I glanced around the parking lot looking for him once more, but failed to find him. I chalked it up as me getting a new pair of sunglasses and got in my car, starting it fast, and sped out of the parking lot, not looking back.
I drove through town ignoring the piles of snow here and there. I also ignored the sad desperate homeless people because it was easier to ignore them, then to help them. And as I stopped every now and then I would send a text to people and only got a few responses from friends. But there was one particular person I wanted to hear from, but never did. That wasn't surprising to me. Didn't make it hurt less. But like always I would act like nothing happened. Super healthy.
By the time I got home, the bright and sunny day had turned into an overcast, cold and windy one. I knew we were going to be getting a storm and was glad I got home when I did. I parked in the huge three car garage, ignoring the other tiny sports car I parked next to. And as soon as I turned off my car, I cringed hearing the loud thumping heavy bass rap song blaring from inside the house. I got out of my car, slamming the door shut hard behind me and walked to the door leading into the house. I hit the button on the panel by the door to shut the garage and shoved inside the house hearing nothing but the disgusting song vibrating around the house. I shimmied out of my black coat and walked down the hallway turning right at the first entryway. I glanced around seeing the huge open kitchen, living room and dining room empty. I frowned tossing my coat to the table and walked into the living room. The TV was on, muted, with a football game being shown. I frowned and turned to walk out of the living room, knowing he would be upstairs. I saw the nice and neat stacks of money on the coffee table, and the little bags of white pills lining the island counter but kept on walking. As I started to climb the stairs I could feel that usual bubble of anger raise up in my stomach but knew I would do nothing about it.
I walked into the huge master bedroom and swallowed hard seeing a pair of all black Nike in the middle of the room, next to a pair of black jeans. I huffed out walking to them and scooped up the jeans, kicking the Nike to the open walk in closet. As i walked to the bed, throwing his jeans to the end of the bed I walked around it hearing the shower get turned off. However seeing the white shirt on the floor by the open bathroom door made me stop. I only stopped because I knew the white shirt wasn't completely white. I bent down and scooped up the bloody shirt clenching my jaw shut hard. As I stood back up, I looked up fast seeing his form walking out of the bathroom. To my pleasure and annoyance he was only wrapping a towel around his waist and it was so low on his waist, making my head go fuzzy for just a second. "Hey baby." The fuzziness left my head as soon as his hand cupped my face. I shoved it off me fast and stepped back raising his shirt.
"What the hell is this?" He sighed walking past me without saying a word. I followed him with my eyes until he disappeared into the closet. I let out a hard breath and shook my head. "What happened to you not doing this shit anymore?"
"It was kind of out of my control."
"You're a fucking liar." I threw his bloody shirt to the hamper in the bathroom and walked to my side of the bed. I sat down hard and kicked my shoes off my feet. "How is it that I keep falling for the same shit, over and over. Oh baby I promise I wont drink like that again. I promise I'll be home tonight. I promise I won't hurt anyone else."
"To be fair...the guy didn't feel any pain." I went still as I started to pull my socks off, but looked over my shoulder. He was standing by his dresser, a pair of boxers on, with his back to me.
"Is that supposed to be funny?" He looked over his shoulder to me and smirked nodding. "You're such a prick." I said it quietly as I turned back to my feet and ripped my socks off.
"You know this is what I have to do. You told me you'd stick by me for all of it Logan. The good and bad times." I stood up, slamming my feet on the ground and turned to face him. Before I said anything I stopped and stared at him. James was unlike anyone else. He was tall, buff, and so devilishly handsome it was almost distracting. He looked like a God. And had a dick that never disappointed. But no matter how good looking he is, it's time like these that I remembered he's not a good guy. "Would you rather have his blood on my shirt or get a call from someone saying I'm dead in a ditch?" I looked up from his sculpted chest not realizing I got lost in looking at it, and eyed him. He tossed what looked like a white button up shirt to the bed and walked around it to get to me. I quickly looked away and sat back down putting my hands in my lap. "Everything I do, I do it for you. To make you happy, to keep you safe." His hands went to my knees and I watched him squat down in front of me. He made me lock eyes with him and I hated it. His eyes were the prettiest color of hazel that made my stomach flutter. And when ever he gave me this pouty, sad looking face, I always gave in. Like I was about to. "I love you Logan. You know that, right?"
"Why do we have to keep doing this though?" He sighed out looking down which made me reach out and grab his face. I tilted it up and pulled it closer to me. "Can't you just stop...we have more money than God and we have each other. We can just pack up and move somewhere else."
"You know why we can't." I closed my eyes and dropped my hands from his face putting my head down. His hands were off my knees and for a moment we were quiet and still. And then his hands were on my sides and he lifted me to stand. I quickly opened my eyes and put my hands on his bare, still wet chest. I pushed but his hands were faster. They went to my back and pulled me in quick. I wrapped my arms around his body and put my face in his neck, closing my eyes. There was a soft kiss to the top of my head before he spoke. "I love you. And I'm not going to do anything to harm you, or get myself in trouble. Just like I always promise." I nodded digging my fingers into the small of his back kissing his open neck softly. "And because I know you don't like seeing it...I'll make sure to get everything cleaned up before I come home." I opened my eyes and tilted my head back to look up into his. I nodded softly making him smile out and put his hands into the back pockets of my jeans. "Did you have any plans tonight?" I smirked shaking my head. Before I could ask why, he picked me up, from under my butt and forced my kegs around his waist. I squealed out swallowing my fears and anger towards him and put my hands on his neck. "Good. Cause there is a party tonight that I really want to go to so I can show you off at." I frowned gently pressing my hand down on his neck making him squeeze onto my ass. "You gonna let me get ready? Or do you have a reason to distract me?" I let his neck go and moved in fast attaching my lips to his Adam's apple. I closed my eyes sucking hard. "Good start to the distraction." I chuckled as he threw me to the bed and quickly climbed on it, over top of me. As he tugged on my jeans as I popped the button off and pulled the zipper down, I realized that once again we were going to ignore the pink elephant in the room.
I was in love with a hardcore criminal. He was a drug dealing, murdering criminal who ran a crime family, ruthlessly. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop loving him.