This was the first fanfic I've ever written for the Legend of Korra fandom. I posted it on my Tumblr blog a while ago (while I was down in the dumps of writer's shame hiatus). It's dedicated two of my IRL friends, because without them, I wouldn't have gotten back into writing nor would I have ever gotten the plot line for this.

Ship: Pabu/Mass Destruction
Song(s) Used: None

Some Background Knowledge for this Story: Please don't take this seriously. It was just to be funny and entertaining.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Korra.

Warning: It's just terrible. **Goes back into a dark pit of shame**

"Ever wondered what goes in Pabu's head?" Bolin wondered aloud as he rubbed Pabu's belly.

Bitch, please… Pabu thought. You don't want to know half the things that cross my mind.

"Hmm… He probably thinks about how he can get more belly rubs and how he can eat more noodles." Korra replied as she joined Bolin in the belly rub session.

Pabu gave a purr, in content for the belly rubs. When Pabu was sure that Korra and Bolin were occupied by their argument about who was the better looking bender, Pabu snaked his way towards the bustling outside.

Pabu crawled swiftly across the hubbub of Republic City. The Equalists were at it again, protesting against the benders. Pabu glared with his beady eyes. He had to admit, he never thought they would ever take their scrawny meetings this far and shocked him even more was the fact that they had followers. People are so blinded these days. Can't they see it's just talk? But all that came out of Pabu's mouth were squeaks of annoyance. He just squeaked some more in frustration as he weaseled away.

He lurked upon the shadows of a dumpster in an alley and watched as Mako and Asami were engaged in a heavy make out section, Mako's hand all over Asami and Asami's hands teasingly wandering about in Mako's pants. What a tease, Pabu thought. Pabu just sat there, watching. Not really waiting for anything significant to happen. Pabu knew that Asami was due for her period, and they couldn't risk anything. Suddenly, Mako broke away from Asami.

"Asami, I think someone's behind the dumpster." Mako said, blushing three different shades of red when he saw Pabu's eyes glowing from the darkness of the shadows as he watched intently. Asami drew her hand out from Mako's pants, only to laugh for a bit after a while.

"It's just Pabu… Don't worry about it." She assured both herself and Mako before kissing Mako and not before long; they had their tongues in each other.

Just Pabu? Don't worry about it? Pabu went silent in fury. He was the eyes and ears of Republic City, he knew everything that went on. Everything. Each fap and every kiss anyone made, Pabu was there in the shadows, watching their every move. Just by watching and secretly plotting against them, Pabu concluded that Republic City has got to be the dirtiest city in the world. In fact, he'd never been so busy in his life. Even cool, collected Tenzin and Pema were two wild beasts when Tenzin got drunk. No wonder they have so many kids… Pabu thought as he kept his cool and left the shadows of the dumpster.

Pabu just wished that he could destroy happiness. Happiness just sickened him. If it weren't for heartaches, Pabu wouldn't have gotten drunk off noodles with Bolin at Narook's Seaweed Noodlery. He also had to say that watching Bolin cry was probably the funniest thing he'd ever witnessed in his short, ferret life. Even if he didn't like anyone, of course, he'd spare Bolin and Korra; as his slaves to give him belly rubs all day long. Pabu just kept on thinking about how much of a greater city Republic City would be with mass destruction. In fact, he could smell it right now. The smell of Bolin's favorite dumplings filled the air.

"Ahhh… Pabu! How's my favorite fire ferret doing this evening?" the old man running the restaurant asked. He came out of his shop and leaned down to give Pabu a belly rub. "Pabu, you must be hungry. Wait one second."

The old man grabbed a dumpling from his shop and gave it to Pabu.

"Enjoy!" he said, before heading back into the restaurant.

One dumpling? That's it? Pabu thought. Someday, I'll get you for this.

He grinned the best he could and gave the restaurant an evil glance before heading towards the arena.

Pabu heard echoes from his stance in the doorway.

So the narrators were at it again. Pabu noted before advancing towards the ring.

"This is getting very intense, folks!" Shiro Shinobi narrated, as the other two were busy.

Pabu's ears twitched a bit at the narration, knowing very well that Shiro Shinobi took his job seriously and it aroused the other arena employees even more. Pabu peeked from the edge of the hexagonal playing field. And to think last week, they got it on in the locker room, Pabu commented mentally. The three soon finished up and Pabu made an escape before anyone could notice. His innocent face would get him away from ever being a suspect of being a peeper.

It was getting dark and Pabu and just as Pabu was about to pass a house with its curtains drawn and one window with a faint glow from light, Pabu stopped in his tracks and swaggered on to the windowsill.

"Yes. Yes. Yes!" he heard the familiar voice cry out victoriously. Pabu rolled his eyes, knowing it was just Aman, getting ready to meet up with the Equalists.

Pabu watched as Aman grabbed his mask and put it on followed by a thick, heavy coat. Pabu knew whom the man behind the mask was and was just really disappointed by Republic City's obliviousness. Pabu remembered the night he sold the mask to the man, the scrawny, disrespected man who put on a mask to make himself feel powerful.

Pabu yawned, feeling the discontent of his artistic masterpiece going to waste. If it were up to him to be the leader of the Equalists, he would have wiped out everyone, except Korra and Bolin, by now. Sorely disappointed, Pabu spit onto the windowsill to show his anger and jumped down.

Pity vandalism, the first step to my domination! Pabu thought and he whisked away towards Air Temple Island. He saw the silhouettes of Korra and Bolin by the moonlight, still sitting on the gazebo where he had left them.

"As I was saying… Oh there you are, Pabu." Bolin remarked and never got around to finish his sentence. He popped the last dumpling that sat on the platter next to him.

Just you wait! Once I prefect my revenge plot of destroying the world, you will give me every dumpling you have! Pabu mentally promised.

Korra placed her hand on Pabu's tummy and rubbed. Bolin laughed and joined in.

Just remember that, the day I destroy the world… Pabu lost his train of thought.

But until that day, belly rubs will just have to do.