Disclaimer: Has any one ever owned Legacy of Kain? If I owned it I would wave already gotten my butt on making another LoK game.
AN: I got writers block so I started a new story…whatever.
Day in the Life of Horror and Strife
The Tale of a Walking Death Machine
Moebius woke up; it was a glorious morning filled with sunshiny sunshine and a glorious interspecies cooperation. He was so happy to be alive (not that he had any choice); he could just feel the good will gravitating toward the vampires. I do believe it is time for someone to screw things up…a voice said in Moebius' head. Moe looked around confusedly, and decided to just sit there. I said "screw things up". The time streamer blinked a couple of times and continued to sit on his ass. Hello? Get up and do something evil the voice told him again. For my own sake…the voice sighed under its breath go out and kill some people my "good" servant…Moebius got up, looked around, scratched his butt and sat back down again. MOEBIUS GO KILL THE…flipping…VAMPIRES! The voice shouted in Moe's head. A look of pure moronic joy came across the old man's face and he said, "Gee, I think I'll go make a public speech!" the voice became silent in furious contemplation for a moment well, at least we're getting somewhere the voice sighed.
Moebius was not very bright, in fact, most of the things that he accomplished he did on accident. He wasn't out to hurt anybody- he hadn't the mental capacity. Moebius was just your everyday typical idiot. How did he start a war then? I'll tell you; he didn't. The horrible truth of it was: An actor did it. Moe had never even spoken to a vampire, and then there was Kain…
"Would you like some sweet potatoes?" Moe offered
"Uh…I'm a vampire. I don't really eat…" This was not at all how Kain had imagined the great oracle of Nosgoth would behave. Like hell I'm going to take his food…even if I was alive I wouldn't have taken it…Kain thought to him self. Out loud Kain said, "Stop with your tricks and babble old man…" The Time Streamer stared at him blankly. "Oh why do I bother…tell me how to defeat Malek so we can all get on with it." Moebius' face lit up.
"Have I told you about King Ottmar yet? Well it all started when…" Kain groaned, Moebius had already told him about King Ottmar.
The vampire left him. "What a nice young man" Moe thought to himself. It wasn't often that such kind and understanding people came to visit; it was mainly irate mothers coming to complain that their children were getting killed. A fine plan the voice said in his head, lure him into a false sense of security and then dispose of him. "He didn't seem to like potatoes much…I think I'll try noodles next…" Why does he do this every paragraph? There was a reason to this terrible fate that had befallen the squid god, and her name was Stacy Anderson.
AN: That wasn't nearly as funny as I hoped it would turn out. The name "Stacy Anderson" is stupid, why did I use it? Oh well, if you don't like the story you can always throw something at your computer screen in vain hopes that it'll hit me.
Raziel: The author doesn't have very much confidence in herself; please bear with her…even though the story would be better with ME in it.
Turn Based Tragedy: Quiet you.