I don't own anything! If i did own One Tree Hill Peyton wouldn't be with Lucas it would be totally Brucas!

Note: First Story on Fan Fic im so excited hope u like it!

I was still friends with her even though of what happened twice. Let's just say she can't look at the inside of my notebooks. I sort of got carried away in my anger towards her. He loved me and she took him away from me but what is there to do now? My therapist says. So by taking baby steps I'm moving on sort of. Julian is a great guy but he is no Lucas. It hurts so much to see them together, Pucas ugghh I hate that word! Brucas sounds so much better and it rolls off the tongue way more. When I see them together I chant in my head "you've moved on you've moved on". It sort of helps because it takes my attention away from the picture of them holding hands or kissing or shoving each others tongue down their throats! My throat fills with vile just thinking about it! Peyton is my friend but were not as close as we used to be and as much as I want to. It will never be the same again.

I usually get into these depressions at night. Even though Julian is laying next to me his arms around my waist I still feel alone and empty. Before I start to quiver I have to get out of bed because I don't wanna wake him up. The funny thing is, he actually believes I have gotten over Lucas! I didn't know I was such a good liar!

My life is easily comparable to a Britney Spears song "Oops I Did It Again". Poor Julian I do feel bad sometimes for using him but he is the only thing that keeps me sane. I can't let go of him because I can't have who I want. I know it's bad but I can't let go I need somebody there so I know I'm not completely alone. If I am I know I'll collapse altogether and not be able to hold onto this charade of being ok.

I have basically been gong through life as a robot. My voice even has a monotonous feel to it. I'm usually not there I'm just thinking about him which isn't a good thing. So my voice comes out with no emotion. Even my face is void of it. It's weird how nobody has caught on to my lies. In some sort of twisted way I want them to notice some how that would make it all better but I know it won't its just an elaborate fantasy in my head.

Life was tolerable until that dreaded day came. She basically almost knocked down my door running towards me. Before she even got there I knew. He proposed to her. Stupid me I hadn't even realized this hope that had risen in me. Now he was taken completely. I couldn't do anything about it.

As she was running towards me I was composing myself so she couldn't tell that I was breaking down at the time. I put on my face she has been seeing for a while. You would think a friend I have known forever would notice such things. Guess our friendship meant something else to her. Or it could be that she just didn't want to see it cuz she knows she is wrong.

Peyton walked toward me a huge smile on her face which I reciprocated. "why are you so happy ?" she lifts up her left hand. I scream out "omg is that an engagement ring?" I tried to take all the hostility out of my voice. Thankfully Peyton was so happy she didn't sense it. But when I looked at Julian I knew that he heard it. I was going to have to come up with a lie to explain it.

I turned back to Peyton with a fake smile plastered on my facade. She went onto telling me about every painstaking detail. I was dying inside by every word that came out of her mouth. Julian finally saved me he came in and said I had a meeting. So Peyton said she had to go and that she would ttyl me. WTF since when did she use chat speak in regular conversations? I was a about to ask her when Julian put his hands on my shoulders and pivoted them slowly. He didn't say anything he just wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight to his chest. He knew I went through a lot because of my best friend and Lucas. He made the pain go away but only for a little while but it was better than going into the fetal position and crying. His lips found mine and I flooded that kiss with emotion. All my sadness all my fears I just let go and got lost on him. I did love him but I didn't love him in the way I loved Lucas I could never love anyone with ally heart because a section of it would always belong to Lucas. I tried to before, trust me, to love Julian whole heartedly but I couldn't so I lost myself in him and me my mind wander. I woke up in his arms but that wasn't where I wanted to be it was in a certain blonde haired boys as. I looked over at him and felt a pang of guilt. He made love to me I just had sex with him two completely different things. It wasn't fair to him but I needed this to keep me sane. It wasn't until I stepped out of the bedroom that I heard someone knocking on the door. Who the fuck could be at my door this early in the fucken morning. It was like 3 in the morning. I padded down the hall to the front door and opened it. I didn't expect what I saw when I opened the door. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands In His pockets. When I opened the door he looked up at me with his gorgeous blue eyes. I just melted and I had to catch myself on the door. He was here I couldn't believe it. It all connected in my head. He left Peyton he was here for me he wanted me! By the time I realized that I was stable on my feet I leaned toward with my eyes closed and I kissed him. It took a second for him to react but he did. His lips were so soft way too soft but I didn't care! He was mine again where he should have been all along! We both reluctantly pulled away. I opened my eyes to look into his beautiful green eyes. Wait WTF green eyes?

Note: Plz review plz plz with Megan Fox on top?