DISCLAIMER: I do not own GW, this is a work of fiction coming from my own slash-obsessed brain, and as far as I know, this never happened.
NOTES: I got really, really, really emotional after I wrote this. I was practically bawling and I had to call my best friend for immediate comfort. Also, the title has nothing to do with the story, I just like the word. Heero's OOC, but eh.
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"I get lost in it, I drown and fall and there's nothing left of me to call mine.
"I feel dizzy, I feel like I have to vomit. My heart thumps and blood roars in my ears, until I'm blind and convinced that the blood will all pour out, leaving me a dried-out husk in a ocean-filled field.
"My words leave me stranded on a dusky highway; I'm a simple, exited, overwhelmed mute with no experience in my turn in the game. I stare blankly and I can't comprehend, and I'm sure that all the light I have in my being is centered in one point of my body.
"The light gathers, and it won't move. Sometimes it pulses, it's a bleeding heart, it's an out-of-tune drum banging uselessly against my bones. Sometimes it grows brighter, a rainbow sun filling my eyes with colors only dreamed of in Faerie-land, colors even the Faeries themselves have not yet imagined.
"I get out-of-sight, I get blind. I stumble and trip and reach out with a trembling hand to grab my anchor, to hold on to that worn, mangled railing stretched thin across the canyon, but it's a one-man free-for-all and I realize that if I let go, I can grab tight onto it. I can't see, but I can feel.
"I can feel that crystal light whispering my name, a voice made up of a choir of angels, singing glory and worshiping love, tears flowing from pure eyes, unburdened by life and loss and love itself.
"I know I'm not worthy, I know I shouldn't, I don't deserve to have that light within me, making me whole, making me human and magical and alive, but I can't resist it. It's the temptation Satan should've offered Jesus, had he the thought. It brings me to my knees, begging and crying and screaming, asking please, don't leave me to wander alone. I can't stay away from it, it consumes me and I take it selfishly, knowing that one day, it might be gone and I'll be nothing but a hollow shell filled with ashes and dust and red-tainted rain.
"I lose myself and I'm happy, I'm dancing under a star-bright sky, twilight rain covering me in a safe, warm hold that smells of earthly things and feels of heavenly wonders. I don't know my name, and I'm in rapture. Judgment Day falls around me but I don't see it, I don't realize that the world is dying, because I'm… with you."
Heero smiled softly, gently, and cupped Bam's cheek. "And that's what it feels like to love you."
Duo couldn't answer, voice captured and spirited away with Heero's words. Instead, he kissed Heero's hand and clutched it to his chest, eyes clenched shut and heart beating inside Heero's body.