Title: 1000 Ways to Die
Author: landofthekwt
Rating M
Prompt: Catch (fanfic bakeoff #1)
Fandom: South Park
Word Count: 285
Warning: "1000 Ways to Die" Character Death
Summary: Cartman sells chances on Kenny's method of death
Kyle gazed at the crowd outside the mall. Something was not right. He had never seen such a crowd in the middle of summer.
As he approached, he was treated to a bizarre sight. There was a hand-painted sign with a picture of Kenny with the logo " 1000 ways to Die".
Such a slogan reeked of Cartman. Only Cartman could come up with such a horrid scheme to take advantage of their friends ability to die weekly only to be resurrected by the next week.
Kyle felt that he owed it to Kenny to stop Cartman. He pushed his way through the crowd. Sure enough on stage was Cartman standing next to Kenny.
Cartman was reaching into the drum of entries. The placard said that the winning entry would be able to choose the method of death for Kenny. Cartman had a full drum of entries which he had sold at $100 per entry.
"Cartman. This is low even for you."
" Why? Kenny is resurrected every time he dies so what is harm?"
"You are condoning killing Kenny."
" Kenny is doing this voluntarily."
"You are exploiting him."
" He and his parent ares getting 20% of the profits."
" How can this be legal?"
" I obtained an opinion from the Colorado Attorney General that since Kenny is resurrected he
does not really die Besides all 1000 ways to die are accidental so no one is really at fault.
Kyle snorted in disgust he could not believe that the entire town and legal establishment would condone the weekly killing of Kenny.
"I wash my hands of all of you."
Cartman sneered " There certainly is precedent for that.".