"Ah, home sweet home!" he said as he was dragged forward by two S.W.A.T. team members into the gates of Arkham Insane Asylum.
"Shut up," one of the guys said, sneering down at the man in clown makeup.
"Grumpy today aren't we? Tell uncle J. all about it, now don't be shy." He replied, licking his lips and giving the officer an understanding look.
The S.W.A.T. member's face contorted with rage and a muscle in his jaw twitched, "I said shut up, you sick freak! You think this is a game!?"
"Tsk, tsk, now I know that I haven't done anything to harbor such resentment from you in the short time we've known each other. Or have I?" The joker replied, shooting his captor a look that said 'well what can you do?' which only seemed to anger him more. The S.W.A.T. team member clenched his teeth and brought his fist down as hard as he could across Joker's jaw.
"Shut the fuck up!"
There was an audible cracking sound and the Joker grinned, twisting his neck back around to look at the suddenly furious S.W.A.T. member.
"I sense some pent up anger," he paused for a moment to crack his neck a bit, "you should really get some help, you know how things like that can drive you mad, one day you'll just," Joker paused and made some hand gestures, " ….snap you know?"
The guard's face, which was already contorted with rage turned pale with horror and rage. The Joker cackled, shaking with laughter inside his straightjacket. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the guy raise his fist, ready for another blow, but the other S.W.A.T. team member stopped him.
"Calm down Artie," he said, tightly restraining his partner's arm while holding onto The Joker's straightjacket with his other hand.
"The sick freak's enjoying it!" Artie said, sending a glare the Joker's way. The Joker smiled back at him pleasantly.
"Yeah well, he won't be laughing once he's inside those gates. Nobody laughs in Arkham."
Artie seemed to calm down a little bit, looking from his partner, to the gray brick gates in front of them, and then back to the Joker. Suddenly he started laughing and he shook his head.
"Well, wouldn't want to keep the crazies waiting now would we Clown face? Come on Carl; let's show him what Gotham's finest look like."
"Name?" the voice from the other side of the intercom said and the young blonde girl leaned forward and cleared her voice before pressing the button and responding.
"Doctor Harleen Quinzel," she said clearly.
There was a silence as the secretary on the other side typed something in her computer.
"Oh, we have been expecting you Doctor, I'll open the gate and the guard's will lead you to Doctor Leland's office." She said after a moment.
"Alright." Harley said, stepping back and watching as the gates to Arkham slowly opened. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach. Her face was covered in cold sweat, causing her glasses to slip down her nose a little. She pushed them back up and took a deep breath; she couldn't quite decide whether all this commotion going on inside her was because of nerves or excitement, although she suspected that it was both.
The guards quickly ushered her into the asylum and closed the gates behind them, they didn't say anything to her besides the initial 'hello' and she decided to take the opportunity to look around a little.
The inside of the infamous Arkham Asylum was surprisingly clean; with pale linoleum floors and sterile-looking white walls. But it was dark, and the whiteness seemed sinister and cold in the dim light. She could hear the prisoners howling and shouting from behind their iron doors as she walked and she looked around at the cell doors, wondering what was going on.
"Don't worry Doctor, they're fine, they're always like that." One of the guards leading her said, looking back at her and smiling in a comforting way. She smiled back, feeling a little uneasy, but she quickly shook it off. She had come here for a reason, to meet the most dangerous criminals, the most unstable, and take apart the inner workings of their minds and what better place to do that than at Arkham? She wasn't about to go all weak kneed at this point.
"We're here," the guard said suddenly, causing Harley to jump a little, she had been absorbed in her own thoughts; she hadn't even noticed where they were going.
"Um, thanks," she said, trying to regain her composure. At least the butterflies were mostly gone, she could do this; she knew she could do this.
The meeting with Doctor Leland went well, she explained to Harley what her job implied, her hours, what time was lunch and where everything was located, so all in all it was a relatively boring meeting.
"Well that's all settled, is there anything else you need Doctor Quinzel?"
"Please call me Harley, everyone does. And yes, actually there is something." Harley paused for a moment, leaning forward in her chair and looking at her senior intently, "I'd like to meet the prisoners. If that's alright with you of course."
"Um, I'm sorry, but it is your first day, I can't allow you to have meetings with every single patient…" Leland said, blinking slightly in surprise. Harley shook her head.
"No, no, I don't want to have a session with all of them. I'd just like to observe them, I don't even have to talk to them, but I'd like to know their names and why they're in here."
Doctor Leland sighed, "I'm sorry, but there are far too many patients here for me to allow you to profile every single one."
Harley paused for a second, she needed to meet the prisoners; it was the only way for her to figure out which ones she should take on. After another second of thought, Harley smiled.
"Okay, how about I just meet the most dangerous one then?"
"The most dangerous one?" the dark haired woman said, looking up at Harley with a look of both amusement and surprise.
"Yes." Harley said, standing up and leaning forward over Doctor Leland's desk so she could look the older woman straight in the face. The butterflies were gone, her palms were dry and her vision was clear. She had a plan now, and she would follow it through to the end.
There was a long pause and then finally, Doctor Leland laughed.
"You're a tough one. Alright, we just got a new patient about a month ago, you might have heard of him. They call him 'The Joker'." Leland paused for affect, observing Harley's reaction to the famous name.
"The Joker?" Harley said, stepping back and sitting back down in her chair. Jackpot, Harley thought, feeling a little breathless with her luck. What were the chances of her arriving at the same Asylum that the Joker was staying at? This was fate.
As the older woman looked at the young doctor she saw a glimmer of excitement flicker in her eyes and had to chuckle to herself. She could already tell what was going on in Harley's head; she thought she could cash in on The Joker, that she could crack open his brain and pull out what nobody else could.
Well, let her revel in her fantasy, Leland thought as she leaned back in her chair, it won't last very long anyway.
"Yes, the Joker. You want to meet him?" The doctor said, already knowing Harley's answer.
"I wouldn't be opposed to it."
The Joker had to admit that the asylum wasn't quite as much fun as jail had been. His cell was small and dark, although that in itself wasn't really the problem; the problem was that they had left him all alone. If they weren't going to give him a cellmate to have fun with they could at least give him a radio or something, it was so boring.
There wasn't even a guard outside the door that he could bug. Joker sighed dramatically and licked his lips, running the tip of his tongue over his scars; he had grown to love them like children. They always made him smile.
He chuckled a little at that thought and sat down on his bed.
The Joker leaned back in his cot and positioned himself so that his head was hanging over the side upside down. Sitting in his new position he giggled, thinking about his adventures on the outside ever since Batman showed up.
"I wonder how our little delinquent is doing now?" he giggled, Gotham was in chaos now, and it was all batman's fault. The best part was that he didn't even know it was his fault! The joker laughed louder, his nasally voice echoing off the cell walls, that was the best joke of them all! And Batman was the punch line!
After his laughter died out he sighed, biting his lip. It was just no fun without someone cowering in fear or agreeing with him.
"Oy Joker!" a voice suddenly said on the other side of the door, "There's someone here to see you!"
The Joker grinned and flipped himself over quickly so that he was sitting right side up on the bed.
The Joker blinked as the light flooded into the room, the hallway wasn't very bright in the first place but compared to the darkness of his cell it was blinding.
"Hey Joker, I have someone I'd like you to meet." The Joker recognized the voice as Joan's, his current psychiatrist and sighed. She wasn't much fun at all, she was as stoic as a rock; she was no fun to play with at all.
As his vision cleared he saw that there was someone else with her, the Joker quickly scrutinized her. Young, probably in her late twenties, with thick blonde hair pulled back into a bun and thick black glasses that were obviously not prescription. She was wearing a white jacket and a very short white skirt and even though she was obviously trying to seem calm and in control he could see the fear and excitement behind her eyes.
The joker finished looking at her and smirked, turning to look at Joan Leland.
"Why did you bring me a hooker?" he said, looking genuinely confused.