I promised this for you, didn't I?

It turned out longer than I thought it would, but meh

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the title, you have LilyRose to thank for that.

The title is a mock of Rose's quote in Army of Ghosts "Five million Cybermen, easy. One Doctor, now you're scared."

Note: You must have read Shards of Shattered Roses up to chapter 14 to understand this.

One Jackie, Now You're Scared

Rose had somehow managed to take up her whole double bed on her own. Jack was half-sitting/half-lying beside her bed, leaning on the side of the mattress, his even breath moving the tie that had fallen in front of his face with every breath out. The Doctor was slumped in the only armchair in the room, his feet dangling off one armrest and his head off the other. His glasses were hanging from one ear and his light snoring was the only sound in the room. Until that is, Jackie entered Rose's room in the morning and screamed bloody murder.

The Doctor woke up with a start, rolled over to his right, and fell off the armchair. He crashed face first into the floor, his glasses pressing into the bridge of his nose painfully. Jack had fell sideways onto the carpet at the noise, and was sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes to try and see what was going on. Jackie was framed in the doorway, still screaming her head off. As Jack watched, she pulled the frying pan out of nowhere and clouted him over the head with it. He fell back to the floor, and Jackie made sure to step on him as she advanced towards the Doctor who was spitting out fluffy bits of purple carpet and rubbing his forehead with one hand. The Time Lord received a face full of frying pan which knocked his head into the leg of the armchair. Jackie was somehow managing to keep screaming as she alternated between hitting Jack and hitting the Doctor, sometimes throwing in a slap for good measure.

Rose was sitting up in her bed, frowning sleepily at her mother's rampage but making no move to stop her. Jack and the Doctor scrambled up and made for the half-open door, tripping over some of Rose's strewn about clothes. They dived towards the door as Jackie threw the frying pan where their heads had been not a second before. They both slammed into each other and the door, closing it in the process. Jackie was upon them again in seconds, screaming abuse at them, which they didn't even bother trying to make sense of.

They finally managed to get the door open, and crawled into the hallway, judging it too dangerous to stand up as they were more of a target. Jack reached for his Vortex Manipulator and began fiddling with the buttons to try and get them out as Jackie struck him in the back with the frying pan. He finally managed to get the controls right and the Doctor reached out to take hold of the Vortex Manipulator amidst a flurry of frying pan blows and slaps.

Jack pressed a final button the Vortex Manipulator just as Jackie struck the Doctor's outstretched arm with the frying pan. The Time Lord's grasp on the gadget loosened and then his arm fell at his side as Jackie struck again. It was too late to stop the Vortex Manipulator so Jack had no choice but to watch as the Doctor was left behind with Jackie while the Vortex Manipulator carried him to safety.

Jack materialised on the roof of the Powell Estate, he reset the Vortex Manipulator before running off the roof and down the stairs to the Doctor's aid.

**********

The Doctor was in a bad way. He crawled pitifully towards the door as Jackie's frying pan flew through the air and knocked him onto his stomach several times. He didn't even try to get to the front door, knowing that as soon as he stood up to open it, he'd be knocked down again by the dreaded frying pan. He hissed in a sharp breath as he crawled back towards Rose's room. The quickest way out now was Rose's window. His back and head ached and his ribs twinged painfully with every breath or movement. He somehow made it to Rose's room and managed to shut the door in Jackie's face just as she swung the frying pan forward. It slammed into the door with a loud thud and the Doctor was surprised it didn't go all the way through. Rose was up and out of bed, and grinned at the Doctor as he trekked through the clothes scattered around her room. She leaned against the door with all her might to slow down her mother's progress on her rampage.

The Doctor made it to the window and climbed out, collapsing on the concrete below the window and wincing as it hurt his ribs even more. He leaned against the wall for support as he got up, to see Jack sprinting around the corner towards him.

Jackie was throwing the frying pan at Rose's bedroom door, not even bothering to think about how much damage she was doing to her own apartment. Then suddenly she stopped. The Doctor and Jack stared at Rose through the open window who looked equally as confused as they did. Suddenly the front door was flung open, Jackie emerged with a crazy glint in her eye, and the frying pan clutched between her fingers. Rose rushed over to her bedroom window and watched as her mother chased the two down the stairs, laughing her head off at the echoing sound of their high-pitched yelps of pain.