Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.

"Explain it to me again Kakazu." said everyone's favorite masochist.

"We have to find new replacements. That was Pein's orders."

Hidan groaned," Right when I was going on a killing spree in the name of my lord."

Kakaazu rolled his eyes," I don't want to hear anything about that pseudo God of yours Hidan."

"Again with the blasphemy of my religion." Hidan grumbled.

Kakazu would have said more if there wasn't a fight going on. Scratch that- a war.

'Give it up homunculus." scoffed Roy Mustang. Envy narrowed his eyes," You think you got us beat? Think again you fool. Now!"

Explosions went off and the concrete beneath them(Hidan and Kakazu) and Roy fell to his feet.

Lust emerged out of nowhere, swinging her ultimate spear at the uniformed men." Miss me Gene?" she addressed her ex boyfriemd.

" No, not really. I was considering introducing you to my mom before I knew the truth." said the sandy blonde male.

"Don't kid yourself." Lust said smugly.

Gene shot at her, Lust laughed," Was that supposed to kill me?"

They stared at each other until Hidan waved," Hey! You with the tattoo!"

Lust glanced at him," What is it? Can you see I'm a little busy?"

Hidan gushed," You have to be sadistic right?"

This threw her for a loop," You can't be serious. I'm going to kill my ex boyfriend."

Roy struck her in the back," You talk too much."

Lust pulled out the dagger," You have no chance on winning and you don't know how to treat a lady."

Roy scoffed," I don't see a lady." his voice venomous." You killed my best friend."

"That was Envy." Lust corrected.

Before another word was exchanged, Hidan again interjected," Doll, let me help you kill this guy."

Lust studied him," Fine."

Stepping back and letting Hidan do his thing-whatever that was. Hidan swung his scythe, cutting Roy's hand, and tasting his blood.

Roy Mustang didn't have a chance.

Lust's eyes widened at the sight," You did it." her voice low and soft.

"Yeah, it's all because of my lord Jashin." Hidan boasted proudly.

Envy popped out of nowhere," Great, our enemy is dead. Can we go now?" grabbing Lust's wrist, dragging her away.

"Wait! Envy!"

The sin of jealousy turned his head," What is it?" he referred to the silver haired Hidan.

"Leave her with me."

Envy's eyes shone with slight curiosity and anger," Why should I?"

"Because she bears the symbol of my lord." Hidan explained. Envy smirked, revealing his tattoo on his right thigh," So do I."

Retreating with her," I'm going with you."

"Huh?" Envy quizzed.

"You heard me shorty." Hidan stated comically. Envy glared at him." Fine, but if you call me freak, I will kill you."

"I can't die. I'm immortal."

"Bullshit. No one's immortal."

"Envy," said Lust," We are immortal as well. Did you forget?"

Envy reddened, " No!...let's just go."

"We're back Father." Envy announced," We lost a prime sacrifice all thanks to him."

"Father's dead." Gluttony replied sadly.

"Then what are you doing here fat ass?" Envy glowered.

"Waiting for Lust. Wrath, Pride, Sloth and Greed left."

"I see." said Envy, now bored," Well, Lust, what are you going to do now that Father is gone?"

"Your old man is gone and you don't miss him?"

"No silver haired fox." Envy answered dully," So Lust, will you stay or go?"

"Staying with you will be misleading. " she replied." I'm leaving."

"Well, fine old hag! Let's go Gluttony."

"Okay!"

"Are you sure about this?" Hidan asked.

"I can take care of myself." Lust answered," let's go."

"Later Envy." Hidan smirked.

"Huh." Envy said bitterly," Have fun having sloppy seconds."

Lust glared daggers at him," You just had to go there."

Envy grinned mechanically," He might as well know the truth...that I tapped that."

"You -"

"Watch what you say Lust." Envy cackled.

"I hate you."

"Love you too, compare us and see who's better." Envy grinned.

"Get out of my face."

Envy turned and left," You know where to find m-"

He was stabbed in the shoulder," Go away."

"Fine."

Hidan blinked," What was that about?"

"Nothing." said Lust." Let's go."

"Sure thing babe."

"You got a beautiful woman Hidan san." said Tobi," Can Tobi have her for one night?"

"Hell no! Go find your own woman Tobi."

"But tonight is Tobi's birthday."

Hidan scoffed, " I don't care if your last day on earth, you are not having her!"

"Pleaaaaaassssssseeeee Hidan san?"

"I said no Tobi!"

A hour later of pleases and nos...until finally...

"Let him have one night ." grumbled Kakazu," None of us can't relax until you say yes Hidan."

"Why not Konan?"

"Leader sama will kill Tobi."

"And you think I won't ?" Hidan asked." Go find your own Tobi."

"...Fine, Tobi will then."

This was supposed to be a oneshot, but now I'm getting ideas...who will Tobi choose? leave a review and drop a name on you think will be good for this story.