A/N: Yellow folks, it's me again. I kind of saw this cute thing on YouTube and then it hit me that I should make a story about it. Frostiron and such. I'm sorry if anyone had this idea before me, I really just came up with it by myself, I don't mean to copy anybody's ideas.
It had started innocently enough, with Tony surfing the Internet on his Stark Industries tablet, skimming through the news reports to see how the latest smartphone that Stark Industries had released was doing. His eye caught a Starkphone Top In The Market headline, followed by the first sentence Stark Industries has beat all other phone brands within the first week of sales, including the smartphone giants, raking in their highest-ever profit yet. There were so many zeroes he was sure he wouldn't be able to count them with his hands. The news agency had posted a YouTube video on the Starkphone commercials, as well as some commentary from the public regarding the phone. Shrugging, figuring he might as well see how bad the other apparent 'technological wizard' branded companies were coping with the stiff competition, he hovered a finger over the video and pressed gently.
The screens switched immediately, and in less than a second the video was already up and running (no lag in Stark Industries tech, that was for sure) and the pale face of a young, chirpy news reporter dressed in thick winter clothing and grasping a microphone within her gloved fingers materialized. Clearly she was standing in front of the Stark Industries building, eyes squinting at the camera, the winter wind clearly assaulting her eyes.
Now, YouTube videos are extremely distracting, and Tony found himself watching the next video after the next video on the 'recommended' list of videos. The topics changed from how well the latest Starkphone was doing to how to manufacture cheese, and then to how to cross the Atlantic with nothing but a bottle of wine and a bicycle, and finally he chanced upon an odd video titled 'The Boyfriend Tag'. Raising an eyebrow, deciding that he had nothing better to do anyway, he clicked on it, watching it at minimum volume so as not to disturb his slumbering daughter and husband next door.
When Loki walked out of the bedroom to the adjoining living room – after making sure his daughter was safely sleeping in her crib, being watched over by the guardian angel that was JARVIS – he certainly wasn't expecting a disheveled Tony hunched over the couch, tablet on his lap and legs crossed, watching something that appeared intriguing enough on his tablet that he didn't even look up to acknowledge the fact that his husband had walked in the room.
Snorting softly, and walking over to his husband – he had to find out what that video was all about, there weren't many things that could keep Tony from noticing Loki – he plopped down on the sofa beside him, pulling Tony into a cuddle and ruffling his dark curls, dropping a kiss on his forehead. Tony looked up at him from the corner of his chocolate-brown eyes, and kissed back, the tablet and the video it was broadcasting forgotten for the moment, lying face-down on Tony's lap. Nuzzling his cheek, Loki took the opportunity to steal the tablet from Tony, who wasn't even fighting to get it back because he was too busy melting into that strong kiss.
"What holds your attention so strong that you are oblivious to my presence?" Loki murmured softly, glancing at the tablet in his hand. "What is this?"
"Huh? Oh, that's YouTube," Tony mumbled, whining at the loss of Loki's lips.
Loki satisfied him with another chaste kiss, and then pulled Tony down to let the smaller man lean his head on the god's shoulder. "And what video are you watching?" The way he said 'video' was rather odd, stretching the first syllable and not even fully pronouncing the second. Seemed that five whole years of being on Earth had yet to fully introduce some Midguardian terms into the Asguardian's vocabulary.
"Something called the Boyfriend Tag. It's where, you know, the girlfriends answer a list of questions about their partner." Tony's eyes widened. "Hey, we should do that too!"
"Technically we are no longer 'boyfriends'. We are now married and are therefore called 'husbands'."
"Doesn't matter. See, even the gay couples do it!" Tony was getting over-enthusiastic now, and when he got into the mood, Loki knew it was pointless trying to dissuade him from an idea. "They answer questions about each other. Let's try it. Give me a moment, I'll download the list of questions."
"This is a waste of time," Loki rolled his eyes, but Tony gave his signature If-You-Don't-Do-It-You're-Getting-The-Couch-For-Th e-Rest-Of-Your-Life-Mister glare, and Loki knew he was out for the count. Sighing softly, placing a hand on Tony's knee and squeezing gently, Loki nodded subtly. "The sooner we do this, the faster I can get this over with." Scrutinizing the instructions clearly, his features rearranged themselves into something resembling shock, but were almost immediately schooled back to a neutral expression. "You know, we'll have to upload this on the Tube of You website. That is what the instructions say, do they not?"
"Since when have you been one to follow instructions?" Tony chuckled. "Don't worry, we'll just answer them like this, no need to make a video of it and have the press and paparazzi coming after us. It's just like a simple test to see how well we know each other."
"We've been together for nearly five years, I'm pretty sure we know –"
"Here's the first one," Tony grinned, cutting his annoyed husband off. "Where did we meet? Oh, that's easy, we met at the battle of New York. You know, the one where you brought all those giant flying millipedes and those monkeys with guns, and then we kicked their butts, and then we kicked yours." Loki rolled his eyes again, but Tony grabbed his face and kissed him chastely, smiling into his mouth. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Don't get mad at me. Honestly, I didn't even know who you were until you invaded New York. I'm going to count that as a good…uh, mostly good thing, because if you hadn't, we wouldn't be where we are today."
Loki sighed in mock exasperation, but pecked Tony's cheek quickly, and then turned back to the tablet, Tony nestling his head in the curve of Loki's shoulder. "Where was our first date?"
"Do you count the one where I talk to you while the rest of the Avengers were fighting your millipede army, and then you entered my house and I talked to you over the bar and offered you a drink?" Tony watched his lover stick out his tongue at his response, and laughed at how out-of-character it was to see Loki Odinson, God of Mischief, sticking out his tongue. "Again, I'm kidding. Where did you even learn that expression? I'm pretty sure it's got to be from Earth. I'm guessing Thor taught you. Clint teaches him all sorts of weird stuff when he thinks no one else is looking."
"Our first date was in that restaurant in Times Square," Loki interrupted his rambling. "You ordered practically everything on the menu, and then because we couldn't finish everything, we had to pack seventy-five percent of the food back. And we had to make three trips to your long car to stuff all the food in because there was too much for both of us to carry, and you did not want me using my magic because there were those Midguardians with cameras scuttling around."
"FYI, the 'long car' is called a limo," Tony groused.
"Totally irrelevant," Loki smiled. "What matters is that I remember our first date. Do you?"
"Of course I do." Now it was Tony's turn to roll his eyes. "I ate the white chocolate panna cotta on the way home, and then Happy took a rough road and when the car went over a pothole, long story short, it took me five days to get all the panna cotta off my best suit. Next question." The change in topic was obvious, but Loki shrugged it off, grinning to himself. "What was your first impression of me?"
"Egoistic, and over-confident," Loki answered without hesitation. Looking down at Tony, still resting on his shoulder and smirking at him, Loki squeezed his thigh again, causing his husband to pout. "To be fair, egoistic is an understatement. I doubt they have invented a word to describe the full extent of your ego. Also, I felt that you were rather daring, to be challenging a god." He ignored Tony's "What? So you didn't think I was handsome and dashing?"
"It's your turn," he murmured, poking Tony in the stomach lightly with a long, bony finger. "What was your first impression of me?"
Tony's pupils moved upward as he thought, and then replied, "Uh, to be honest, the first thing I really noticed about you were your eyes, because they were so…green." He stared into Loki's brilliant garish green pupils again. "Yeah, they're so green. They're like a cat's, you know. Maybe you're not a frost giant, you're secretly a cat. You know, since you walk so gracefully. Although those two horns on your helmet make you look more like a rhino." At Loki's raised eyebrow, he added, "You've never seen a rhino before? I thought I had showed it to you that time when we went to that museum, you know, the one with all the biological oddities. Oh, yeah, and I thought you were pretty annoying. I mean, who demands a whole planet to rule without even asking the locals first? How rude, right? I mean, come on. You have to admit that you were rude." Tony shot his husband a pretend dirty-look, shifting his position from Loki's shoulder to his lap. "Oh yes, and you wouldn't surrender no matter how many times we tried to kill you. You even caught Clint's arrow with one hand, I mean, who does that?"
"I will take that as a compliment," Loki murmured slowly, commanding his facial features not to betray him and turn his fake scowl into a grin.
"Wait, I'm not done yet," Tony held up a hand to halt Loki before he could request that they continue on to the next question. "I also noticed your legs, because damn you have nice legs. So terribly long and slender. And your sense of style wasn't that bad, for a god. Green really looks good on you. Did you actually pick out your clothes yourself then, or did you let Frigga do it for you? I don't know, you don't really look like the fashionista type." The italicized word was said with a heavy French accent – Tony couldn't do accents very well. He sounded like a dying cow, Loki wanted to tell him, but husbands had to be sensitive to each other's feelings, Tony had whined before when Loki told him that he had horrible vocals and could not sing.
"Okay, that's enough," Loki interjected before Tony could continue. "I do not want to hear you talk about my rear end, because that is the part of my body that you're probably going to discuss next." Handing the tablet back to Tony so that his husband could read the next question, he contented himself with running his fingers through Tony's hair and lavishing soft caresses on his face.
"When did you meet my family?" Tony grimaced – the thought of Howard was really repulsive. Besides, Loki couldn't meet his parents since they were both dead already, and anyway his extended family lived in different parts of the world, so why travel all around the globe just to introduce his squeeze…uh, Loki, to people whom he hardly talked to? "You don't have to answer this one," he informed Loki. "Since you've never met any of my family. Uh, let's see, I met Frigga when you kidnapped me and brought me back to Asgard –"
"I did not kidnap you," Loki interrupted. "I persuaded you, physically."
"You take advantage of the fact that I'm too distracted when you kiss me and don't bother about my surroundings," Tony accused, although he was smiling. "Um, I met Odin when you left me unattended and I happened to wander around the hallways looking for you."
"Like a child," Loki sighed. "I wonder how you even became a parent."
"I met Thor when, you know, he barged into our aircraft and stole you from me. Wasn't very polite at first, that guy." Tony chose to ignore Loki and continued rambling. "You don't have any other family members, do you? Well, I do not wish to meet your frost giant friends, though. They'll probably step on me and squish me like the little squishy mortal that I am."
"A weird habit that you have?" Loki read, pecking Tony on the lips to make sure that he kept quiet. "You have so many habits that can be deemed as 'weird', I do not even know where to start. Let's talk about the way you vanish into your lab for days on end," Loki smirked, finally having found the chance to get Tony back at all the wisecrack he'd spouted earlier. "And how you won't sleep until I physically drag you off to bed. And how you'll consume all the coffee in the tower during your seventy-hour work shifts. I really hate your hours, you know. Is there any way I can talk to your employer about it?"
"Sorry, big man, you'll have to make an appointment," Tony patted his chest. "It's my turn –"
"No, I'm not done yet," Loki clapped a hand over Tony's mouth. "Let's see, how about your continuous attempts to cook, which always end up in failure and Dummy trying to put out the fire in the kitchen and you complaining to me while I wrap your scalded hands and clear up your mess. Oh, and how about your knack for trying out new recipes? I recall a time when you wanted to make a casserole with cod and chocolate as your main ingredients."
"Shut up, Clint's probably hiding in the ceiling ducts listening on us," Tony pried Loki's hand off his mouth, so his words came out all garbled. "My turn. You like to collect umbrellas." He sounded triumphant. "There, I can't have any weirder habit than that. Who even collects umbrellas? You would be the last person on earth that I'd expect to collect umbrellas, if you asked me that five years ago. And you have like all sorts of umbrellas. You have the lace ones, the transparent ones, the polka-dotted ones, the Pokemon ones – I would never expect you to collect those – and you even have the cartoon ones. Oh, and you play Plants versus Zombies when you think no one's looking." Judging from the sheer mortification on Loki's face, Tony knew he'd one-upped his husband. "You're pretty good, too. You defeated that Yeti zombie in like, what, five seconds? Before it even got to your second square anyway. Oh, yeah, and your Zen Garden is full. You have nearly all the plants! And you're stinking rich on Plants versus Zombies. You could probably buy all the things in Crazy Dave's shop if you wanted to."
A loud wail emanated from the other room, and both men sighed in defeat. Their daughter had woken up.
"Coming, Princess," Tony called, standing up reluctantly – pouting from having to leave his super comfortable spot by Loki's lap – and tugging at Loki's hand, gesturing for him to follow. "We can continue after we've given her attention. Don't you dare try to avoid this, Mister, because I will make you finish the whole list even if we have to stay up all night."
"I don't doubt that," Loki said dryly, allowing himself to be ushered into their bedroom.
A/N: I only finished the first five questions so more than likely this'll be a multi-chaptered fic. Please R&R, I know, I'm still writing chapters for my other stories so please be patient, this kind of came on a whim.